In which I lament of myself
San Francisco trip: I had this idea I was going to finish blogging about the San Francisco trip. Events (and my own laziness) have conspired against me and I have not done so. I'm afraid that a lot of trip detail has been lost in the days intervening between today and my homecoming. I am disappointed with myself in this omission.
Food and me: I had a major binge on Saturday night. It was the first time in a long time that I actually felt completely out of control of my food and eating. While I have gained back much of the weight that I lost several years ago, this was the first time I felt like I was eating obsessively and automatically. I ended the evening by crying myself to sleep, this in the wake of watching the Nebula Awards livestream and wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. I realized, as if from an objective distance several blocks away, in the midst of this bizarre episode, that I had missed taking my antidepressant for several days running. I was careful to take my medication yesterday and now this morning. I can't let that happen again, because when things go dark for me, things go dark and I go to dangerous places.
Movies and good company: In contrast, I had a perfectly lovely evening with SA last night. We had dinner at his place (pasta with homemade pesto and sauteed vegetables--he really is a good cook), and then we went to see April and the Extraordinary World which, if you haven't seen it, you ought to try. It's a beautiful animated alt-history steampunk adventure from France, completely charming, about a world where scientific advancement has stopped at the age of steam and about the Dangers of Science. In this sense it's old fashioned, but in the very best ways. Our heroine, April, is brave and plucky, diving in where angels fear to tread. Well worth your time for the beautiful visuals, the adventure and, yes, the talking cat.
Bathroom renovation: The bathroom reno starts on Tuesday. I spent a good portion of this weekend cleaning out the room, rearranging the adjacent room for a staging area, and trying not to be anxious about strangers coming and going in my place for the next few weeks. I'm not done with the work yet, but I'm mostly there. As much as I'm looking forward to this, I'm also feeling aversion to the tumult and disruption. I have a feeling that the next few weeks are going to be the least restful I've had in quite some time.
Food and me: I had a major binge on Saturday night. It was the first time in a long time that I actually felt completely out of control of my food and eating. While I have gained back much of the weight that I lost several years ago, this was the first time I felt like I was eating obsessively and automatically. I ended the evening by crying myself to sleep, this in the wake of watching the Nebula Awards livestream and wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. I realized, as if from an objective distance several blocks away, in the midst of this bizarre episode, that I had missed taking my antidepressant for several days running. I was careful to take my medication yesterday and now this morning. I can't let that happen again, because when things go dark for me, things go dark and I go to dangerous places.
Movies and good company: In contrast, I had a perfectly lovely evening with SA last night. We had dinner at his place (pasta with homemade pesto and sauteed vegetables--he really is a good cook), and then we went to see April and the Extraordinary World which, if you haven't seen it, you ought to try. It's a beautiful animated alt-history steampunk adventure from France, completely charming, about a world where scientific advancement has stopped at the age of steam and about the Dangers of Science. In this sense it's old fashioned, but in the very best ways. Our heroine, April, is brave and plucky, diving in where angels fear to tread. Well worth your time for the beautiful visuals, the adventure and, yes, the talking cat.
Bathroom renovation: The bathroom reno starts on Tuesday. I spent a good portion of this weekend cleaning out the room, rearranging the adjacent room for a staging area, and trying not to be anxious about strangers coming and going in my place for the next few weeks. I'm not done with the work yet, but I'm mostly there. As much as I'm looking forward to this, I'm also feeling aversion to the tumult and disruption. I have a feeling that the next few weeks are going to be the least restful I've had in quite some time.