Not Alone

[scarlett71177]

I’ve been watching the stories about the persecution of gay people with an absolute ache deep in my heart. In addition to the six who recently committed suicide because of the pressure, pain, and persecution, three men were tortured, sodomized, and lit on fire in New York City recently. In addition to those men, nearly 14,000 people in the

Comments

[lady_bracknell]

Word.

Have you seen the It Gets Better project on You Tube? Dan Savage started it - it's basically grown-ups making vids about how awful their life was at high school and what they've done since and that... it got better. The one he made with his husband about how they were both bullied and now they have a family and things they never thought they would is really touching. There's some great stuff on there and I like that it's immediate. I think it's one of the redeeming things about the Internet - we can be here for each other, even if we'll never meet and are on opposite sides of the world.

[scarlett71177]

YES. I think that's an amazing resource and source of support. Like To Write Love On Her Arms, it spreads so much hope and awareness. Tim Gunn's video was so honest and inspiring. I was really emotional after seeing it. There's so many good organizations out there too. I wish they'd all band together and have a million person march or something. It would make a HUGE impact.

Do stories like this surface overseas too?

[lady_bracknell]

They do. I guess we're pretty lucky in that we have people like Stephen Fry who have a direct line to lots of people without waiting for the mainstream media - and there's another comedian Russell Howard who does a show called Good News where he shares inspirational news stories from around the world. One of the benefits of being a smaller country - things tend to spread pretty fast here.

[scarlett71177]

things tend to spread pretty fast here.

Very true. I think there's a better idea of 'neighbor' too. You can see how it affects the people around you. Our two coasts have all the action, and everywhere in the middle is just sorta... there. I would wager it's tough for some people to fathom such a different life elsewhere.

(Man, I hope that makes sense.)

[giselle_lx]

I was going to bring up the It Gets Better Project, but I see I've been beaten to it.

One thing Dan says in his video with Terry (and oh my gosh was it amazing to see Terry...I've read about him SO MANY times he almost seems fictional) is "Miserable people like to make other people miserable." I've certainly noticed that in high school, in jobs, in life, in fandom. And by far the best way to piss those people off? Be confident, successful, and happy. They lose, and they lose hard.

[scarlett71177]

And by far the best way to piss those people off? Be confident, successful, and happy. They lose, and they lose hard.

YES. If you just don't give them the time of day- they lose interest so hard and fast. It's so hard not to take the bait sometimes, but if you can find some resistence, it's well worth it. It's just tough to remember when you feel hurt and want to lash out.

It Gets Better Project and TWLOHA are two of my faves.

[lady_bracknell]

I had the same reaction - I got all OMG, it's Terry!! I think it was such a great thing for them to do. I know they've had some negative responses (will it really change anything etc etc) but to me I think if I'd had something like that when I was 14 it really would have helped me have faith in the future, and if it does that for just one person I think that's enough.

[giselle_lx]

My thoughts exactly. SOME kid is going to look at them and go, "Yes. My life can get there, too." And that makes it worth it.

Hell, I'm straight, have never been bullied for anything other than being smart, and I find their story and their marriage more than inspiring for my own life.

[patricia_writes]

What a wonderful post! I am trying very hard to teach my kids to stand up for themselves as well as for others who might be picked on. My greatest hope is that they will have kind hearts and open minds when they are adults.

Speak up, but also teach others.

[scarlett71177]

Good for you! You seem like a lovely person, and I'm sure the kids will get the message. I think, with all kids, one day it really hits home and the message sinks in. You wonderful parents never get credit though. ;-)

[javidan]

Great post Aim!

I'm trying to do my part---making sure my boys grow up tolerant of all sorts of people and so far it seems to be effective. The Youngest has a lesbian teacher this year who is THE BEST TEACHER EVER and he absolutely adores her. I think the key (as was pointed out above) is integration---we quickly realize that we're not so 'different' after all.

[scarlett71177]

GOOD for you! If children see their parents respect others, I think that's got to be one of the biggest influences on their impressionable lives.

[scarlett71177]

Yeah, it REALLY bothers me when it's kids. Parents and families have to accept the bulk of the responsibility, but who knows when it might be our sibling, cousin, niece/nephew who is suffering.

<3