(no subject)
Life is full of nothing but broken hearts and shattered dreams. The more I think about life right now, the more depressed and angry I become. I really wish I didn't have to bitch to all of you, but just ignore it I guess. I just want things to go back to the way they were, before everything was blown out of whack. Some of you may think I'm overreacting, but love will do that, especially when you love someone who doesn't love you back and "probably won't ever again." I wish you could take breaks from life, because I could definitely use one right now. I mean, I understand life has its ups and downs, but you can't get lower than this. I'll say it once again, I don't see myself truly being happy again, or wanting to be with anyone else, so I guess I'll just have to hang out with friends, real friends. But knowing that a new person is going to be shoved in my face soon, I don't know how I'll handle that, it will hurt too bad. I really don't care how this post is taken, I hurt right now, and don't give a shit what anyone thinks. It's been a long time since I've felt this depressed and it's scary, whether that sounds stupid or not, it's true. I don't know what to do but I know I have a couple of people to turn to, and I appreciate those people, but I don't know if I'm willing to let any of this out again. Better to keep it bottled up and not let "you" see it...
Because then we can't be "friends" and only "friends" forever and ever, never again being happy to see you like it used to be, to get something for you and not being to wait to give it to you. To be able to spend time with you talking about the future, and smiling and crying tears of joy knowing that things will all be fine, then realized all that is shattered because of a spout of unhappiness; it happens, but apparently, things are too difficult to work out, which is stupid and insulting, since "people break up all the time," doesn't change the fact that a lot of people don't. some people know how to work out problems, no matter how big, because they understand that life isn't always on easy-mode where you can just throw away a relationship that so much has been sunk into already.
Anyway, I'll stop bitching now, and I know this may piss someone off, but it's how I feel, and no one can stop me from feeling it.
I still love you...
Stephen
Because then we can't be "friends" and only "friends" forever and ever, never again being happy to see you like it used to be, to get something for you and not being to wait to give it to you. To be able to spend time with you talking about the future, and smiling and crying tears of joy knowing that things will all be fine, then realized all that is shattered because of a spout of unhappiness; it happens, but apparently, things are too difficult to work out, which is stupid and insulting, since "people break up all the time," doesn't change the fact that a lot of people don't. some people know how to work out problems, no matter how big, because they understand that life isn't always on easy-mode where you can just throw away a relationship that so much has been sunk into already.
Anyway, I'll stop bitching now, and I know this may piss someone off, but it's how I feel, and no one can stop me from feeling it.
I still love you...
Stephen