(no subject)
i knew id hurt myself. i told myself before i looked " this will hurt, why are you looking ?" stupid. because im just plain stupid. theres nothing else to it. im not over her thrashing me, im not over her moving away without so much as a goodbye have a nice life. it stings. it stings that she spent the last days here with the one person that was no good for her and they fought and she was miserable around him. it stings that she chose him over me when shes known me longer. i told her everything. i shared my innermost feelings and she just threw it to the fire. i cant believe that im not over this yet. what do i have to do to get rid of this scar?? it keeps tearing stitches. it hurts. everytime i hear her name or his name or the word ashland or even college it just jabs me one more time. goes for the jugular. i may as well lay here and bleed to death. shell never notice. im pretty sure she wouldnt even care if i died. shes got this new best friend, her special roomie, and they watch all the disney movies that she refused to watch with me. she does all they things she never wanted to do with me. why?? why was i such a faliure?? dont say is me and not you, because i know it has something to do with me. dont treat me like a child. i want to understand. but i dont. stupid fat tears. LEAVE ME ALONE.
i need help.
ro
i need help.
ro