A Kid In King Arthur's Black Knight
I was sitting around, waiting for inspiration and more ideas for "Snow White," when I noticed one of my favored childhood movies was on. I had long forgotten the movie, but it was like seeing it anew.
Of course, this was "A Kid In King Arthur's Court." And after seeing it again, I have to direct this post toward Martin Lawerence and the thieves, I mean, creators of "Black Knight."
"Black Knight" is nothing more than a pathetic-sardonic-piece-of-shit-rip-off of "A Kid..." This neanderthal movie was eating at the body of "A Kid..." and then pissing on it for an extra laugh.
Follow me as I break it down. This shall be truncated, but it will be lengthy to show obvious similarities:
"A Kid..." A boy with from a baseball team goes back in time. Of course, this means he is wearing a jersey.
"Black Knight" A stupid, insipid horny male is brought back in time. The modern fashion he is wearing, is a jersey.
"A Kid..." This boy comes into the kingdom when it is in great perile.
"Black Knight" This male comes into a kingdom of great perile.
"A Kid..." Helps inspire King Arthur to win back the hearts of his kingdom.
"Black Knight" Helps inspire the kingdom to win back their kingdom.
"A Kid..." Boy falls in love.
"Black Knight" The male wants some ass, I mean, falls in love.
"A Kid..." The Black Knight is seen as a tyrrant; Then, as a hero.
"Black Knight" They reinvoke the mystery of the Black Knight by painting Martin's armor black. Then seen as a hero.
"A Kid..." Person in kingdom becomes vile and corrupts.
"Black Knight" Rebellion in kingdom becomes vile and corrupts.
"A Kid..." Katherine, the princess, is in danger of death.
"Black Knight" Martin's lay, I mean, princess is in danger of death.
"A Kid..." Calvin saves the day.
"Black Knight" Martin saves the day.
"A Kid..." Calvin does not want to leave behind Katherine.
"Black Knight" Martin doesn't want to leave without popping off a few.
"A Kid..." Calvin goes back, and then, out of nowhere, there's Katherine. In the stands, you see King Arthur. Although it does not say this is really the King, it shows him widdeling some wood with a pocket knife (Calvin gave the King his pocket knife before he left Camelot).
"Black Knight" Martin wakes up (morning wood?) and sees he is back in Medieval World (amusement park) and misses his chance at getting laid. Then, out of nowhere, there is the princess. Although it does not say this, she has an exact same scar that the princess had.
"A Kid..." Happily ever after.
"Black Knight" Fucker can't learn and gets hit on the head and goes back to another time.
I guess the maggots who invoked the spirit of "A Kid..." didn't want to look TOO suspicious, and threw in that ending of "Black Knight."
All in all, I give "A Kid In King Arthur's Court" a 9.9 (should have given Katherine a kiss before he left Camelot. I'm talking a lengthy kiss. I'm talking piss of King Arthur lengthy kiss. I'm talking pre-matu--OK OK)! It is great fun for the family, or old fans of the movie.
After reviewing the evidence shown, I have no other end but to give "Black Knight" the disgusting, deplorable, dissatisfactory 0.0 it truly deserves. The humour was stupid. The race jokes get FUCKING old. And Martin, you were funnier when you were like Raymond on your show; A fucking whining-snivelling-flacid-momma's-boy-cunt-bubble-little-abortion-that-got-away-why-oh-why-won't-Gena-fuck-me-pussy-whipped-pre-mature-ejaculating-rail-thin-lame-ass-can't-get-any-one-to-laugh-unless-you-throw-in-white-jokes-coward-dick-sucking-pissant-midget-bitch! And for this movie, you should be ashamed!
Thank you.
Of course, this was "A Kid In King Arthur's Court." And after seeing it again, I have to direct this post toward Martin Lawerence and the thieves, I mean, creators of "Black Knight."
"Black Knight" is nothing more than a pathetic-sardonic-piece-of-shit-rip-off of "A Kid..." This neanderthal movie was eating at the body of "A Kid..." and then pissing on it for an extra laugh.
Follow me as I break it down. This shall be truncated, but it will be lengthy to show obvious similarities:
"A Kid..." A boy with from a baseball team goes back in time. Of course, this means he is wearing a jersey.
"Black Knight" A stupid, insipid horny male is brought back in time. The modern fashion he is wearing, is a jersey.
"A Kid..." This boy comes into the kingdom when it is in great perile.
"Black Knight" This male comes into a kingdom of great perile.
"A Kid..." Helps inspire King Arthur to win back the hearts of his kingdom.
"Black Knight" Helps inspire the kingdom to win back their kingdom.
"A Kid..." Boy falls in love.
"Black Knight" The male wants some ass, I mean, falls in love.
"A Kid..." The Black Knight is seen as a tyrrant; Then, as a hero.
"Black Knight" They reinvoke the mystery of the Black Knight by painting Martin's armor black. Then seen as a hero.
"A Kid..." Person in kingdom becomes vile and corrupts.
"Black Knight" Rebellion in kingdom becomes vile and corrupts.
"A Kid..." Katherine, the princess, is in danger of death.
"Black Knight" Martin's lay, I mean, princess is in danger of death.
"A Kid..." Calvin saves the day.
"Black Knight" Martin saves the day.
"A Kid..." Calvin does not want to leave behind Katherine.
"Black Knight" Martin doesn't want to leave without popping off a few.
"A Kid..." Calvin goes back, and then, out of nowhere, there's Katherine. In the stands, you see King Arthur. Although it does not say this is really the King, it shows him widdeling some wood with a pocket knife (Calvin gave the King his pocket knife before he left Camelot).
"Black Knight" Martin wakes up (morning wood?) and sees he is back in Medieval World (amusement park) and misses his chance at getting laid. Then, out of nowhere, there is the princess. Although it does not say this, she has an exact same scar that the princess had.
"A Kid..." Happily ever after.
"Black Knight" Fucker can't learn and gets hit on the head and goes back to another time.
I guess the maggots who invoked the spirit of "A Kid..." didn't want to look TOO suspicious, and threw in that ending of "Black Knight."
All in all, I give "A Kid In King Arthur's Court" a 9.9 (should have given Katherine a kiss before he left Camelot. I'm talking a lengthy kiss. I'm talking piss of King Arthur lengthy kiss. I'm talking pre-matu--OK OK)! It is great fun for the family, or old fans of the movie.
After reviewing the evidence shown, I have no other end but to give "Black Knight" the disgusting, deplorable, dissatisfactory 0.0 it truly deserves. The humour was stupid. The race jokes get FUCKING old. And Martin, you were funnier when you were like Raymond on your show; A fucking whining-snivelling-flacid-momma's-boy-cunt-bubble-little-abortion-that-got-away-why-oh-why-won't-Gena-fuck-me-pussy-whipped-pre-mature-ejaculating-rail-thin-lame-ass-can't-get-any-one-to-laugh-unless-you-throw-in-white-jokes-coward-dick-sucking-pissant-midget-bitch! And for this movie, you should be ashamed!
Thank you.