The Dark Side pt 1
Title: The Dark Side
Author: aLi
Characters: Rogue
Rating: n/a
Summary: Rogue takes her mind into her own hands
'Verse: Original tv-show verse, with some created drama and theory.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I've created nothing, and I'll get paid nothing. All mistakes and continuity errors are mine and mine alone.
Feedback: why not?
Part I
Rogue knew that her mind was messed up. The first time Professor Xavier had taken her inside, she nearly went crazy from all the personalities screaming at her, craving power over her. Since then Xavier had taught her to build a wall to block out the others; keeping her sanity in check.
Still, that had been many years ago. The number of people she’d ‘touched’ since then had multiplied dramatically. She’d actually had to thicken the wall, because the voices were starting to get louder and louder.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t not touch anyone. If she wore gloves, they’d rip; if she dressed in layers, people would accidentally bump into her; and if she stayed in her room and avoided everyone, they would still find her.
The more people she touched, the more voices occupied her mind. The noise steadily became louder until Rogue felt that her head would split. The thicker wall helped, but she needed more. She needed to take Xavier’s instructions one step further.
*
Everyday Rogue meditated. It was a peaceful time where she could remember herself and get away from everyone else. The meditation had been strongly recommended by Xavier, but Rogue actually liked the idea.
When she came up with the new plan, she wasn’t sure if it was right. Xavier was no longer going into her mind, so she didn’t need to worry about him seeing what she was going to do. She didn’t mention it to him, though, because she didn’t really want to see his reaction. It was her mind, dammit, and she could do with it what she wanted to.
The plan wasn’t anything stupid, like removing the wall - she was simply going to build more of them. Her mind had infinite space, so what did it matter if she took up a large amount of it to save her sanity?
It was basically like building an apartment complex. There were a large number of rooms with a large number of doors. It was all walls, with no windows, and it enabled Rogue to place each voice in a separate room. When the voices were separate from each other, the noise was barely audible.
A few of the rooms were empty. Rogue knew that there would eventually be people to fill them, and it would help to have a place to immediately hide them.
Basically, she was organizing her mind; making it more neat and tidy, instead of a large mess of people hidden behind a thick brick wall. Xavier would probably have no problem with that part. It was what she did later that he might not like.
*
It was already apparent to her that the longer she touched someone, the longer the effects lasted. The same was with the voices. The more contact she had, the louder the person’s voice was. She’d already been though this problem with Ms. Marvel, and Rogue was always careful not to hold onto someone for too long. Ms. Marvel’s voice wasn’t in one of the rooms. That voice had taken more to silence it.
One thing she didn’t understand was why the voices remained, even after the effects had long worn off. For weeks after touching Magneto, she’d absentmindedly referred to Xavier as Charles. Even though Magneto’s voice was hidden behind a large wooden door, Rogue knew that it was still there.
It had been curiosity that caused her to open the door. Gambit had left the mansion months ago and hadn’t been back since. She’d wanted to follow him, but he said that this was his problem and she shouldn’t have to leave her home. It was true; the mansion was more of a home to her than anywhere else, but with Gambit gone, it didn’t feel the same.
She never thought she’d find love in her life, not after what happened with Cody, but Remy had proved her wrong. No man should want a woman that he couldn’t touch, but he didn’t mind at all. She didn’t want to cause him pain, and had therefore been very careful around him, but accidents always happened. Remy didn’t mind, though, even if he woke up in the infirmary with a large migraine.
The only contact she’d had with him was a letter sent to the mansion. The return address was a Post Office box somewhere in New Orleans; which meant that he could be anywhere. She’d written back, but had yet to receive a reply.
The letter had been almost generic. No mention of where he was or what he was doing. Simple a note to say that he was still thinking of her and wished that he could be there with her.
She missed him fiercely; which was part of the reason she did it. Yes, she was curious about what would happen, but really she did it because she missed him.
A part of Remy was always with her. The power had faded and his voice had faded, but she knew it was there. The part of her that understood his foreign curses, even without knowing a word of French. The part that made her subconsciously pick up a deck of cards and start shuffling them.
But she’d locked that part away, in an identical room, with all the others. At first she wanted it locked away because she felt ashamed. She worried that the more she took from Remy, the less he’d have for himself. Now that he was gone, she wished that she had more.
In her mind, she took a hold of the dull brass doorknob, twisted, and pulled the large wooden door open. Suddenly, Remy was with her. His charming smile, cocky attitude… it was all there. She could hear his rich voice calling here chere…
Suddenly she felt a change. Her breath caught and she wasn’t sure how, but the jolt in her body was the same as if she’d touched his skin. Energy was building up in her body and she didn’t know how or why.
“Don’t worry, chere,” Remy’s smooth accent flowed in her head. “Just stay calm and take control.”
Rogue continued to panic, but Remy’s voice finally calmed her down. The power wanted to be released, and she began to worry that it would destroy her if she didn’t let it out, but Remy’s voice guided her. She held the energy just under her skin, refusing to let it out.
She closed the door and stepped out of her mind. The energy was still with her - she could feel it. Carefully, Rogue opened her window and made sure that there was no one outside. Then she took hold of a magazine, released the energy into it and threw it out the window.
A smile slowly crossed her face as the magazine exploded in a small burst. She’d never been able to do that before. Whenever she’d taken someone’s energy, it had been a horrific experience. There had been no control, and she usually ended up hurting someone or something.
This was different. This was a control she’d never felt before. Remy’s voice echoed in her head and her smile widened. Rogue picked up another magazine, but all the energy was gone.
Author: aLi
Characters: Rogue
Rating: n/a
Summary: Rogue takes her mind into her own hands
'Verse: Original tv-show verse, with some created drama and theory.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I've created nothing, and I'll get paid nothing. All mistakes and continuity errors are mine and mine alone.
Feedback: why not?
Part I
Rogue knew that her mind was messed up. The first time Professor Xavier had taken her inside, she nearly went crazy from all the personalities screaming at her, craving power over her. Since then Xavier had taught her to build a wall to block out the others; keeping her sanity in check.
Still, that had been many years ago. The number of people she’d ‘touched’ since then had multiplied dramatically. She’d actually had to thicken the wall, because the voices were starting to get louder and louder.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t not touch anyone. If she wore gloves, they’d rip; if she dressed in layers, people would accidentally bump into her; and if she stayed in her room and avoided everyone, they would still find her.
The more people she touched, the more voices occupied her mind. The noise steadily became louder until Rogue felt that her head would split. The thicker wall helped, but she needed more. She needed to take Xavier’s instructions one step further.
*
Everyday Rogue meditated. It was a peaceful time where she could remember herself and get away from everyone else. The meditation had been strongly recommended by Xavier, but Rogue actually liked the idea.
When she came up with the new plan, she wasn’t sure if it was right. Xavier was no longer going into her mind, so she didn’t need to worry about him seeing what she was going to do. She didn’t mention it to him, though, because she didn’t really want to see his reaction. It was her mind, dammit, and she could do with it what she wanted to.
The plan wasn’t anything stupid, like removing the wall - she was simply going to build more of them. Her mind had infinite space, so what did it matter if she took up a large amount of it to save her sanity?
It was basically like building an apartment complex. There were a large number of rooms with a large number of doors. It was all walls, with no windows, and it enabled Rogue to place each voice in a separate room. When the voices were separate from each other, the noise was barely audible.
A few of the rooms were empty. Rogue knew that there would eventually be people to fill them, and it would help to have a place to immediately hide them.
Basically, she was organizing her mind; making it more neat and tidy, instead of a large mess of people hidden behind a thick brick wall. Xavier would probably have no problem with that part. It was what she did later that he might not like.
*
It was already apparent to her that the longer she touched someone, the longer the effects lasted. The same was with the voices. The more contact she had, the louder the person’s voice was. She’d already been though this problem with Ms. Marvel, and Rogue was always careful not to hold onto someone for too long. Ms. Marvel’s voice wasn’t in one of the rooms. That voice had taken more to silence it.
One thing she didn’t understand was why the voices remained, even after the effects had long worn off. For weeks after touching Magneto, she’d absentmindedly referred to Xavier as Charles. Even though Magneto’s voice was hidden behind a large wooden door, Rogue knew that it was still there.
It had been curiosity that caused her to open the door. Gambit had left the mansion months ago and hadn’t been back since. She’d wanted to follow him, but he said that this was his problem and she shouldn’t have to leave her home. It was true; the mansion was more of a home to her than anywhere else, but with Gambit gone, it didn’t feel the same.
She never thought she’d find love in her life, not after what happened with Cody, but Remy had proved her wrong. No man should want a woman that he couldn’t touch, but he didn’t mind at all. She didn’t want to cause him pain, and had therefore been very careful around him, but accidents always happened. Remy didn’t mind, though, even if he woke up in the infirmary with a large migraine.
The only contact she’d had with him was a letter sent to the mansion. The return address was a Post Office box somewhere in New Orleans; which meant that he could be anywhere. She’d written back, but had yet to receive a reply.
The letter had been almost generic. No mention of where he was or what he was doing. Simple a note to say that he was still thinking of her and wished that he could be there with her.
She missed him fiercely; which was part of the reason she did it. Yes, she was curious about what would happen, but really she did it because she missed him.
A part of Remy was always with her. The power had faded and his voice had faded, but she knew it was there. The part of her that understood his foreign curses, even without knowing a word of French. The part that made her subconsciously pick up a deck of cards and start shuffling them.
But she’d locked that part away, in an identical room, with all the others. At first she wanted it locked away because she felt ashamed. She worried that the more she took from Remy, the less he’d have for himself. Now that he was gone, she wished that she had more.
In her mind, she took a hold of the dull brass doorknob, twisted, and pulled the large wooden door open. Suddenly, Remy was with her. His charming smile, cocky attitude… it was all there. She could hear his rich voice calling here chere…
Suddenly she felt a change. Her breath caught and she wasn’t sure how, but the jolt in her body was the same as if she’d touched his skin. Energy was building up in her body and she didn’t know how or why.
“Don’t worry, chere,” Remy’s smooth accent flowed in her head. “Just stay calm and take control.”
Rogue continued to panic, but Remy’s voice finally calmed her down. The power wanted to be released, and she began to worry that it would destroy her if she didn’t let it out, but Remy’s voice guided her. She held the energy just under her skin, refusing to let it out.
She closed the door and stepped out of her mind. The energy was still with her - she could feel it. Carefully, Rogue opened her window and made sure that there was no one outside. Then she took hold of a magazine, released the energy into it and threw it out the window.
A smile slowly crossed her face as the magazine exploded in a small burst. She’d never been able to do that before. Whenever she’d taken someone’s energy, it had been a horrific experience. There had been no control, and she usually ended up hurting someone or something.
This was different. This was a control she’d never felt before. Remy’s voice echoed in her head and her smile widened. Rogue picked up another magazine, but all the energy was gone.