I haven't really said much lately
Actually yes I have, I've blogged and journaled more than usual. But lately it's been mostly 'This is what I've been doing' and less 'This is just me talking'. I'm sure none of you have any complaints about that, but I guess I never really liked using a journal as a log type deal. (You know...captain's log, Wednesday April the 25. Today we...)
Hm. Red Vines taste oddly good cold....
I know that was random but that's my late lunch. Anyway, I've been really good lately. I don't really have any of my woe is me mood swings going on. I hate those. I mean seriously. It sucks so badly to feel awful for no apparent reason. It makes me really mad at myself. Nothing's ever horribly wrong that I can't fix it or at least deal with it in time. I've found out that if it can't be fixed it's no longer worth the effort.
I had a really great conversation with Rachel last night. We talked about how even though we feel old we really don't know anything. Some idiot was giving her a hard time on her deviantart account. Rachel decided she must be 16ish cuz she talks like she knows everything. Honestly, life seems a lot better to have the understanding that you know nothing. No matter what you know, you know nothing.
I miss talking to Rachel. Now that I'm interning I might be able to get a more certain/stable schedule for her and Ari to visit. Sometimes I really miss the old crew. I still talk to Kelly pretty consistantly (though not CONSTANTLY which makes me sad) and every so often I talk to Rachel. Not as much Ari but since he married Rachel there's no big rush to tell him everything right away. I tell Rachel and he'll find out. But it was so nice to be young and ignorant. Adult life sucks. I'm only halfway there but it still sucks. I miss the days when the group of us would just say "Ok. We're going to beach and climbing on the rocks." Then spend hours and hours together. It was great. We got to late afternoon and we'd been hanging out all day, but someone would ask "Are we sick of each other yet?" and we'd all say "Nope." Then we'd go off somewhere else. But the way things are now it can't ever be like that again.
We've all either lost touch or don't want to get back in touch.
I miss the school gang too. There's something really amazing about friendships between teenagers. It's almost like the last time we're ever allowed to be really close and talking about almost ridiculous things like they were catastrophies without sounding...immature I guess is the word. But I never got that about adults. Maybe it's just me and the people I know. Maybe we're unusual.
See, I see absolutely nothing weird about my friend out of nowhere asking "Ever wonder what it's like to be a goldfish?" Haha. That was a fun conversation. Maybe I'll have more of those as I make more adult friends.
But really I just want friends who're my age. Maybe not biologically, but at least intellectually. And personality wise. I'd like to hope no matter how old I get I'll always be a kid at heart.
Hm. Red Vines taste oddly good cold....
I know that was random but that's my late lunch. Anyway, I've been really good lately. I don't really have any of my woe is me mood swings going on. I hate those. I mean seriously. It sucks so badly to feel awful for no apparent reason. It makes me really mad at myself. Nothing's ever horribly wrong that I can't fix it or at least deal with it in time. I've found out that if it can't be fixed it's no longer worth the effort.
I had a really great conversation with Rachel last night. We talked about how even though we feel old we really don't know anything. Some idiot was giving her a hard time on her deviantart account. Rachel decided she must be 16ish cuz she talks like she knows everything. Honestly, life seems a lot better to have the understanding that you know nothing. No matter what you know, you know nothing.
I miss talking to Rachel. Now that I'm interning I might be able to get a more certain/stable schedule for her and Ari to visit. Sometimes I really miss the old crew. I still talk to Kelly pretty consistantly (though not CONSTANTLY which makes me sad) and every so often I talk to Rachel. Not as much Ari but since he married Rachel there's no big rush to tell him everything right away. I tell Rachel and he'll find out. But it was so nice to be young and ignorant. Adult life sucks. I'm only halfway there but it still sucks. I miss the days when the group of us would just say "Ok. We're going to beach and climbing on the rocks." Then spend hours and hours together. It was great. We got to late afternoon and we'd been hanging out all day, but someone would ask "Are we sick of each other yet?" and we'd all say "Nope." Then we'd go off somewhere else. But the way things are now it can't ever be like that again.
We've all either lost touch or don't want to get back in touch.
I miss the school gang too. There's something really amazing about friendships between teenagers. It's almost like the last time we're ever allowed to be really close and talking about almost ridiculous things like they were catastrophies without sounding...immature I guess is the word. But I never got that about adults. Maybe it's just me and the people I know. Maybe we're unusual.
See, I see absolutely nothing weird about my friend out of nowhere asking "Ever wonder what it's like to be a goldfish?" Haha. That was a fun conversation. Maybe I'll have more of those as I make more adult friends.
But really I just want friends who're my age. Maybe not biologically, but at least intellectually. And personality wise. I'd like to hope no matter how old I get I'll always be a kid at heart.