Thanks for Everything (I)
Thanks for Everything (I: Lavender & Parvarti)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Genre: General, Friendship
Words: 1,867
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the widely exalted J.K.Rowling, unfortunately.
Summary: Canon Lavender & Parvarti are generally not liked, by J.K's readers or by her characters themselves. I can attest to that. But there has to be more to them than superficiality. Sitting by the Lake, as Hogwarts stands on the cusp of the Second Great Wizarding War, we see a glimpse of a treasured friendship can last a lifetime. [All dialogue]
‘Hey Lav.’
‘Hey.’
‘What are you doing out here? It’s cold.’
‘Nothing, really. And, yes, I know it’s cold.’
‘And you’re out here on a cold dreary day with no fur coat? Tsk, tsk Lavender.’
‘I like the cold.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since now.’
‘Really.’
‘…’
‘No chirpy replies or chipper hugs?’
‘No.’
‘Lav…’
‘What?’
‘Don’t tell me you sit here every day and skip stones and admire the trees when there’s plenty of other more interesting things to do.’
‘…’
‘You’re getting your designer denim skirt wet.’
‘…’
‘Lav? Lav! Gosh, I thought I’ll never get you to look at me!’
‘What are you doing out here? I mean, it’s cold isn’t it?’
‘Hey! Don’t be nasty. And what’s with the “What are you doing out here?” You’re here aren’t you? Best friends have a right to sit next to each other, don’t they?’
‘I guess… But don’t you have “other more interesting things to do”?’
‘Lav, you know what I meant. What’s wrong with you today? I mean, it’s not every day you see fashion guru Lavender Brown sitting beside the Lake dirtying her most precious item of clothing. So spill - what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing’s wrong. The sky’s blue, the trees’ green, the Lake grey and nothing at all is wrong.’
‘Who are you and what have you done with Lavender Brown.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘…’
‘Stop looking at me like that. I’m still Lavender. You know, best friend Lav with one dead bunny and a fashion obsession. Recognise her? Or am I so forgettable that an hour later my face is wiped from your memory?’
‘Stop being so sarcastic - it’s unnatural.’
‘Unnatural?’
‘For you anyways. And stop it with the eyebrow thing - it makes you look like Malfoy.’
‘Erch! Malfoy? Don’t compare me to bad-hair-day-every-day-Malfoy again! Ever!’
‘Why not? The vanity, the complete attitude revamp… You could totally be a female version of Malfoy.’
‘I am not like Malfoy.’
‘You’ve even got the vehement denial down pat. Malfoy’s definitely gay - I’ve tried to tell him plenty of times before but that boy, that stubborn boy…’
‘…’
‘What are you laughing for? It’s true! Why else would he spend so much time on his hair and be so picky about the brand of his clothing?’
‘You’ve had a conversation with Malfoy about his choice in clothing?’
‘Well, no, per se, but didn’t you just tell me a week ago that you noticed he always wore the same few ridiculously pricy brands of robes?’
‘I did? Well, that doesn’t automatically mean that he’s gay.’
‘It’s a sure sign to me that he’s on his way to being gay then. And what is it with you? You agreed with me just yesterday that Draco Malfoy wasn’t completely on the straight and narrow.’
‘…’
‘What? Stop that! Now you’re all gloomy again. Stop pulling out the grass, and look at me. Just tell me what’s wrong. You can’t avoid it forever, you know. And anyways, who better to talk to than your best friend? That is, if I’m still your best friend…’
‘I don’t want to talk about it okay? I don’t want to talk to anyone.’
‘…’
‘You don’t have to sit here with me.’
‘I know.’
‘So? Just go then. Go have fun with all the other girls, it’s not as if I want you here.’
‘I’m your best friend. I would have thought you understood that by now. I’m not just going to leave you here, all alone and obviously depressed. We’ll be alone together; together just like we’ve always been - and always will be.’
‘…But how can you know? How can you be so sure of that?’
‘What?’
‘It’s not the same anymore - nothing’s the same. I-It’s like everything’s just been, been scooped up and jumbled around and… I don’t know what to do anymore. How can you be so sure that we’ll be friends forever?’
‘I know that we will.’
‘Oh, Parvati, the War’s changing everything that we’ve ever known. And I, I just… can’t sometimes. I can’t do the same things I used to, or think the same things I used to think, or-or believe in the same things I used to believe. It’s like my world’s being shaken around, turned upside down and everything I used to be just isn’t me anymore.’
‘Lav…’
‘Don’t try to tell me I’m still the same Lavender, because I don’t even know if I am. I know that I still like the same things and act, most of the time, the same way was I used to, but something’s changed. Like there’s a little something in me that has somehow shifted out of place and kept everything the same as before, but made everything different at the same time while everything’s changing.’
‘Lav, you’re not making sense. Are you trying to be philosophical?’
‘No. Yes. I-I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.’
‘Of course it’s hard to ex- ’
‘Sometimes, a lot of the time, I feel so confused, you know? And a bit angry too. I just want to ask someone, you know, God or Merlin, someone who’ll know what I mean: why is this all happening to me? I-I don’t understand why the war has to happen now. Why we’re the ones who have a duty to fight in it. I just feel so helpless sometimes - and that just scares me even more a-and I’m terrified, because I’ve never, ever felt like this before! I’m not, I’m not ready. Not now, not ever.’
‘Lav! Listen to me. Just calm down a bi- ’
‘I can’t be calm! I don’t know what’s going on, I suck at duelling. I want to be a fashion designer for Merlin’s sake! I don’t fight, or-or kill and battle hordes of D-Death Eaters! That’s for Harry, and Ron, a-and H-Hermione! Then I feel guilty because aren’t I a Gryffindor too? I-I was sorted there just the same as they were. But they’re standing up for what they believe in and have done so many things I don’t think I could have done. J-Just look at me. We’re here at Hogwarts, where absolutely nothing’s happened yet, a-and I’m still scared to death! What am I going to do when something actually happens!’
‘I don’t know, Lav, but I do know tha- ’
‘I’m not brave enough.’
‘But you are. Don’t you see it Lav? You’re here aren’t you? You’re scared out of your wits but you’re still here, aren’t you? You don’t want to fight or kill or wait out here until something happens but you are still out here. Don’t compare yourself to Harry or Ron or Hermione - it’s useless to do that. Yes they’ve done things we wouldn’t have dreamed of doing - but so what? So what, Lavender, so what? You’re not Hermione. I’m not Harry or Ron! We’re all allowed to be selfish sometimes. But it’s what you do in the end that counts, otherwise, where would everyone be? By all rights we should be running away before the battle even begins, but we’re not. We are not running away, and that counts for something. That’s what matters in the end.’
‘…’
‘Erm… that was a bit too much, wasn’t it? But - hey, don’t look at me like that - passionate speeches aside, I’m just telling you what I think.’
‘Since when have you been so inspirational?’
‘Um… since now? …Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lav.’
‘I-It’s just so hard sometimes, pretending that nothing’s different and everything’s fine when you don’t know what’s going to happen… Don’t you wish we could really “unfog the future” now?’
‘Yeah… it’s kinda funny looking back on when you still worshipped Professor Trelawney.’
‘You believed her too! Remember that time I thought she had really predicted that Binky would die.’
‘Or when she told me to “beware a red-haired man”.’
‘And Ron was absolutely clueless! You were ever so suspicious of him for the next few months… What about when she said poor Harry had the Grim - that was hilarious. We avoided him for ages after that.’
‘Those were the good times, weren’t they?’
‘Yeah.’
‘…’
‘I’m scared Parvati.’
‘So am I Lav.’
‘I don’t want to grow up, or go to war.’
‘Me neither, but everyone else is, and it would be very bad to be left behind. That would be the most horrible thing out of them all, I think, being the ones left behind when everyone else is gone.’
‘Do you think, do you think we’ll make it?’
‘Yes.’
‘How can you know that?’
‘Well you asked me, and I had to give an answer, didn’t I?’
‘Stop joking around Parvati. This isn’t something to joke about. This is serious!’
‘What do you want me to say? That I know that we’re going to survive this thing because what? God told me? Fat chance. You want to know if I think we’ll really make it out? I honestly don’t know. But I think there’s a big chance we won’t. That we’re going to be blown to bits or bleed to death and be crucio-ed or avada kedavra-ed while the Death Eaters that kill us forget our faces and congratulate themselves on another job well done.’
‘Parvati!’
‘When the everything’s all over and done with, they’ll pile up the bodies into a mass grave and all that will be left of us will be four words, two words each, carved into a stone memorial that will probably stand on top of the grave. Then when the next generation of witches and wizards are studying the History of Magic with Professor Binns, we’ll just be two more tedious names to fall asleep over …And that’s only if we win.’
‘How can you say that! That’s so cruel, a-and heartless!’
‘That’s the truth Lavender - and the truth hurts. You know just as well as I do that what I said could happen, could have a large chance of happening. Don’t say I’m heartless or cruel. You’re not the only one who’s frightened about what could possibly be the end of our lives! Don’t you think I have dreams too? That I have things I’ve always wanted to do, places I’ve wanted to go, people I want to meet? Don’t you think that I don’t feel what you’re feeling - what everyone else is feeling - because I do!’
‘…’
‘… And it was you who wanted me to be all serious about it.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘… No, don’t worry. I’m sorry. I was just tense. I needed to get it all out… and who better to talk to than my best friend. But still, I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘It’s okay. You were right anyways, you’re always right.’
‘I don’t know everything there is to know Lav. I don’t know how everything’s going to turn out. I can’t “unfog the future” and I don’t know if we’ll win this thing. Or if we’ll make it out of this war alive. But I know that if you die, then we’ll die together. We’ll be together to the last like we promised, like we’ve always been and always will be. Nothing will change that Lav - we girls stick together.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘Thanks.’
‘For what?’
‘Everything.’