Home (Naruto): #18 - Alone in a crowd

May 22, 2010 08:56


Title: Home
Author: scarlet_ivy
Rating: T
Fandom: Naruto
Theme: #18 - Alone in a Crowd
Genre/s: Angst
Warnings: mild swearing. angst
Words: 897

Home is where the heart is. )

#18, 500themes, fd: naruto, r: pg-13, g: angst, c: uzumaki naruto, challenge

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Comments 5

ivy_tsuta May 24 2010, 03:40:09 UTC
Awh, poor Naruto.

I'm really happy you chose to do 500Themes as your fanfiction. That makes me incredibly happy.

Nice concept. Let's see. There are a few things wrong, but for a first timer, it's very well written. Hm, the one thing that really comes to my attention is the kinda random wound. If you are going to mention something like that, you have to mention it as a sort of fore-shadowing. Like mention the training before he actually starts bleeding, at the beginning of the story. Such as a short backstory as to what he was doing before he went shopping, not throwing that in there just like that. Do you understand?

That's all. It was a small error that everyone early in writing has made. I look forward to seeing more from you. =)

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scarlet_ivy May 24 2010, 15:00:29 UTC
Thank you for pointing it out! It's sad, 'cause a lot of people don't. They just read read the story and say 'okay, little to no spelling/ grammar mistakes, long enough, done'.

BUT(hehe, butt) I'm not going to go change it. I'm gonna leave it as it is, then in a couple of years, I'll look back and be like 'This is how I wrote ___ years ago? Wow.' xD

I tend to make everything very vague so that people can have their own interpretation of the story. Most of the time, it doesn't work though, 'cause I like to read and re-read it, adding in little things and sentences along the way because it's TOO vague. (It's okay, I don't understand what I just said too xD)

Thank you for constructive criticism and nice comment! ^^

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ivy_tsuta May 25 2010, 02:31:02 UTC
I know. I try to help people along, and it works. I like being useful.

It's okay. Don't change your writing. It fun to see how much you've improved. I'm really glad you think that way.

I totally understood that. I do it as well. Especially if it's a certain amount of words challenge.

Np~

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cyn_inc May 26 2010, 10:00:33 UTC
This was your first fic? I'm impressed! There's some room for improvement, of course, but overall it was very good ( ... )

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scarlet_ivy May 31 2010, 03:07:47 UTC
Thank you for the advice! I'll try to avoid making the same mistake again. No promises. ;D Just keep on practicing... writing... practicing... writing...

Friends? I'd love to be friends! xD

Your writing is so good... I can't wait to see your interpretation of this theme! Good luck to you too!

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