For lastvoyages: Eighth Hex [video+spam]

[scarlet_discord]

 [Wanda is Wanda! She looks a little frantic stuffing zoology books from the Library into a backpack.]

OK guys. I'm going to be coming around setting out water for those of you who no longer have thumbs. As I go I am gonna knock on doors. If you are trapped in your room and you hear me knocking, make some noise. Bark, moo, scratch on the door, knock

Comments

Spam

[19centconstable]

I believe I've gotten the lock undone!

[When Wanda opens the door she will find directly next to it: a little staircase made of books, a chair, and a George-pig sitting on the chair.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

[She can't help it; the scene's so dear she lets out a happysqueak.] I'm glad you're clever. Be awkward if I had to trot out my pathetic lo--I mean, door forcing skills.

I'm heading back to the kitchen for more water. Are you hungry?

Spam

[19centconstable]

Oh?

[George is peering over the edge of his chair. His book-stairs seem a lot steeper from up here. Plus his snout is in the way.]

Er. Since you mention it.

[He is a pig.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

You're a police officer. Be awkward for both of us to break into a room in front of you. [Of course she has no experience in B&E. Nopenope.]

Fortunately I think pigs are the closest animal to humans in what they eat, so I can make you a recognizable lunch.

Do you, um, need a lift down?

Spam

[19centconstable]

It isn't really breaking in if you've been invited.

If you could perhaps just make sure I don't fall...

[Because George is a fully grown pig: about thigh-high, and while not hugely fat, he probably weighs...a lot.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

[Wanda's game enough. She crouches down and wraps her arms around the pig to steady him as he clambers down.]

When I said I wanted to feed you, I didn't mean like this, but I'll take it.

Spam

[19centconstable]

[He does so a little clumsily, but manges. The books survive as well.]

Oh yes. Ha ha.

[This pig is totally pouting.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

I'm sorry! I shouldn't try to make light. You're still getting pie eventually, I promise.

Spam

[19centconstable]

[Have you ever heard a pig sigh? Now you have.]

No, no. It's...I suppose I'm just...well, disappointed. I don't see why I've got to be a pig.

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

It's not that terrible. You're not small, you're not that vulnerable, you can still speak, and if backed in a corner you have a bite that will go through bone. Also there's no cat food in your future.

Spam

[19centconstable]

Cat food?

[He cocks his head to the side. His snout twitches.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

Oh yeah, I forgot, you can probably stomach an awful lot you couldn't normally right now. But nope. My buddy George is getting a nice chopped salad with fruit and nuts. And so am I for that matter, cause I'm starved.

Spam

[19centconstable]

Why would a pig eat cat's food? Not that I don't like milk myself. But I thought pigs ate...everything, actually.

[He waddles past her and peers into the hallway. Then he pauses, backs up, and turns back in her direction. It takes some manuevering. Pigs aren't very flexible.]

Salad? Are you putting me on a diet?

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

Huh? Hell no! Trust me, I learned to make my salads and sammiches from a five hundred pound gourmet. [She trails after him.] See, you chop up apples and celery and chicken, and add raisins and nuts and those sugar peas. It's all in a light cream dressing, and I figure chopped stuff will be easier to eat out of a big bowl.

Spam

[19centconstable]

I suppose if there's chicken in.

[As a member of the working class, George lives almost entirely off of bread, butter, cheese, potatoes, tea, and biscuits. Also because he hasn't got a wife.]

Spam

[scarlet_discord]

I'll add extra. Don't worry, I'm not trying to poison you or anything. [A soft laugh as she stepped past him and headed for the elevator.]