Dreams.
I've had some really intense dreams lately that have left my mind thinking way too much, and my heart hurting because those dreams will never come true. I've been researching up on them, but haven't really found an answer, other than I hope they stop because in a way they are hurting my mental state, and my relationships with friends and people whom I'd like to be more than friends with.
I honestly just don't know what to do about this situation except deal with this one myself because I don't feel like freaking anyone out explaining to them what I dreamnt about.
Hmm here's several pieces of poetry I wrote years ago...but I'm always looking for them so I'm just going to post them here.
Queen
They say you can't fall in love with your best friend,
But they never met me.
See I am the paradox of life-
Life-it comes so easy yet fills with red stains so quick,
And suddenly you're a woman with a curve not a stick,
The androgyny leaves your figure yet not your head,
And they question the thoughts of life or death,
But they never met me-
I am the strength and power that shakes the ground beneath us-
Us-what a great word filled with love and compassion,
That most don't have and never will,
My selfishness is not a crime,
For I deserve it this time
-Time is endless with you-
And I never digress from the thought that entropy is not a burden on me,
But they do,
They speak of skin scattered everywhere and water rising,
The warmth gained is the sign of sin,
But they never listened to me,
With my eyes that could tell you 5,000 emotions,
And tears so salty they'd flow right in the ocean,
But I will still swim,
Swim towards the figure in the sapphire waves,
Where the souls of two forbidden bodies meet and connect the dots,
On this mystery.
But they say I'm crazy for this, my thoughts,
Yet they don't even know me,
So I flip around and make sense,
And they become their own paradox, not me-
And they still never met me-
I am queen.
eww I hate that ending
Blame
I don't blame you-
For that tick in your eye,
From all those lies
That got you by-
-Fate...-
It was destiny
That called to me
Why can't you see?
Oh? You're blind-
Like the guy over there blind,
Or the dog in the park blind,
Or like the shades in my room blind-
Yeah, opening and closing-Never in full bloom.
I grow tired and weary,
From this balled up mystery,
But I don't blame you...
-You-
Cause those cold shivers down my spine-
-The one you love to caress and intertwine,
Touch
The one that makes you pine.
Please sing,
Sing me a song,
I long for your voice,
I've got no choice though...
And I don't blame you-
For telling me I'm your world,
Your galaxy that you
Connect with each kiss,
Each kiss that is such bliss
How I miss your lips so...
And I don't blame you
For loving me
My invaluability
We birth a new dimension,
This invention our vision
Of life love and happiness.
I don't blame you
For loving the bones that show through my skin
And all the sins within,
I just breathe in,
Refusing to let go-
-Go-
Just not too far,
I worry to much,
Much to worry,
Get things done in a hurry,
And I don't blame you
For the scars upon your skin-
-The skin so warm I just sink in-
And melt....
I'll stop and melt with you,
Melt away, dream away,
I beg you again, don't stray,
-Stay-
And I don't blame you
That and the one above it were my first spoken words I've ever written. I performed them only once in front of a crowd at the Bean.
Worn Down-A Villanelle
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin,
Pink fades into red as the sun sinks farther in,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
And they said life wouldn't be like this,
This icy hot sickness,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin.
The plucked the finest flower born,
Murdering beauty at their own cost,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
An itch is but only an itch,
Yet tied with fate it progresses,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin.
I carry my soul, our soul in my pocket,
Hoping and praying a hole doesn't surface,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
We have faith that the ocean will never stop flowing,
And the sky will never stop glowing,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
Sandalwood
As she followed the wood grain path,
Her soul swayed to the movement of the earth,
Caressing necessities,
Watching her shadow kindle and diffuse,
Conversing with the very faery upon her shoulder.
She had opulent opals for eyes,
With red stained hands,
She was a beauty,
She was a queen.
Awakening from slumber,
The sound of her breath,
The beauty entrapped from her sleep,
Her soul still misty from the early dawn.
A sight never to be forgotten,
The wood grain girl,
Her presence aglow,
With cherries in the distance.
Tangible Love-Sonnet
the one day that girl sang so faultlessly,
the world grew quiet and began to see,
that love was tangible taken she was.
she was a star and had her galaxy.
connecting the freckles on the pale skin
swimming through carbon monoxide nightmares
slaughtering the pushers of exiting.
but the clear rainbows are falling again
rectifying the ignorance of man
the strain in her voice echos through ear drums
staining her hopes her dreams into their minds
the song she sings is never ending bliss
producing a glow of untouched beauty,
not out of reach for her androgyny.
Hmm so I can tell there are certain aspects that flow throughout all of those pieces...a constant theme.
I honestly just don't know what to do about this situation except deal with this one myself because I don't feel like freaking anyone out explaining to them what I dreamnt about.
Hmm here's several pieces of poetry I wrote years ago...but I'm always looking for them so I'm just going to post them here.
Queen
They say you can't fall in love with your best friend,
But they never met me.
See I am the paradox of life-
Life-it comes so easy yet fills with red stains so quick,
And suddenly you're a woman with a curve not a stick,
The androgyny leaves your figure yet not your head,
And they question the thoughts of life or death,
But they never met me-
I am the strength and power that shakes the ground beneath us-
Us-what a great word filled with love and compassion,
That most don't have and never will,
My selfishness is not a crime,
For I deserve it this time
-Time is endless with you-
And I never digress from the thought that entropy is not a burden on me,
But they do,
They speak of skin scattered everywhere and water rising,
The warmth gained is the sign of sin,
But they never listened to me,
With my eyes that could tell you 5,000 emotions,
And tears so salty they'd flow right in the ocean,
But I will still swim,
Swim towards the figure in the sapphire waves,
Where the souls of two forbidden bodies meet and connect the dots,
On this mystery.
But they say I'm crazy for this, my thoughts,
Yet they don't even know me,
So I flip around and make sense,
And they become their own paradox, not me-
And they still never met me-
I am queen.
eww I hate that ending
Blame
I don't blame you-
For that tick in your eye,
From all those lies
That got you by-
-Fate...-
It was destiny
That called to me
Why can't you see?
Oh? You're blind-
Like the guy over there blind,
Or the dog in the park blind,
Or like the shades in my room blind-
Yeah, opening and closing-Never in full bloom.
I grow tired and weary,
From this balled up mystery,
But I don't blame you...
-You-
Cause those cold shivers down my spine-
-The one you love to caress and intertwine,
Touch
The one that makes you pine.
Please sing,
Sing me a song,
I long for your voice,
I've got no choice though...
And I don't blame you-
For telling me I'm your world,
Your galaxy that you
Connect with each kiss,
Each kiss that is such bliss
How I miss your lips so...
And I don't blame you
For loving me
My invaluability
We birth a new dimension,
This invention our vision
Of life love and happiness.
I don't blame you
For loving the bones that show through my skin
And all the sins within,
I just breathe in,
Refusing to let go-
-Go-
Just not too far,
I worry to much,
Much to worry,
Get things done in a hurry,
And I don't blame you
For the scars upon your skin-
-The skin so warm I just sink in-
And melt....
I'll stop and melt with you,
Melt away, dream away,
I beg you again, don't stray,
-Stay-
And I don't blame you
That and the one above it were my first spoken words I've ever written. I performed them only once in front of a crowd at the Bean.
Worn Down-A Villanelle
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin,
Pink fades into red as the sun sinks farther in,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
And they said life wouldn't be like this,
This icy hot sickness,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin.
The plucked the finest flower born,
Murdering beauty at their own cost,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
An itch is but only an itch,
Yet tied with fate it progresses,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin.
I carry my soul, our soul in my pocket,
Hoping and praying a hole doesn't surface,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
We have faith that the ocean will never stop flowing,
And the sky will never stop glowing,
The ocean rustles against my cold bare skin,
I have been worn raw like the ground below.
Sandalwood
As she followed the wood grain path,
Her soul swayed to the movement of the earth,
Caressing necessities,
Watching her shadow kindle and diffuse,
Conversing with the very faery upon her shoulder.
She had opulent opals for eyes,
With red stained hands,
She was a beauty,
She was a queen.
Awakening from slumber,
The sound of her breath,
The beauty entrapped from her sleep,
Her soul still misty from the early dawn.
A sight never to be forgotten,
The wood grain girl,
Her presence aglow,
With cherries in the distance.
Tangible Love-Sonnet
the one day that girl sang so faultlessly,
the world grew quiet and began to see,
that love was tangible taken she was.
she was a star and had her galaxy.
connecting the freckles on the pale skin
swimming through carbon monoxide nightmares
slaughtering the pushers of exiting.
but the clear rainbows are falling again
rectifying the ignorance of man
the strain in her voice echos through ear drums
staining her hopes her dreams into their minds
the song she sings is never ending bliss
producing a glow of untouched beauty,
not out of reach for her androgyny.
Hmm so I can tell there are certain aspects that flow throughout all of those pieces...a constant theme.