BADLY AND FROM THE HEART
It's been a while since writing actually helped. Lately all I've been able to dish out is a list of complaints about men (all justified, mind you) and a few mediocre poems. Not good enough, I wager. Either way, it's time to write like I used to. Badly and from the heart.
So, I'm going through a bit of a spiritual limbo right now. Either that, or they're just not giving me enough homework at the Uni. It's probably the second. That would explain how I managed to score the highest grade in Stakeholder Analysis of all things in a class of 30. Apparently, in Europe I'm a nerd. At least that's Sahai's explanation. Speaking of the magnet for the demented, this might be a good time to point out that she's the one friend I have somehow managed to not lose touch with. That's one good thing, I suppose.
Back to the limbo. Well, I don't exactly have this narrowed down to a science but there is a sense of purposelessness around me these days. I know I'm supposed to be somewhere but I'm just not there yet, and the move is painfully slow. This would be easier if I knew what I was looking for in the first place. Oh well.
Plus, at the risk of sounding completely crazy I've figured out that things will literally never go as I planned. This is not a derivation. It's fucking fact. If I plan something, it will not happen. Not in a million years. On the other hand it will happen when I least expect it and smack me in the face with a steak or something. So I absolutely refuse to plan any more, I'm scared.
On a completely unrelated note, I recently discovered that I have gone past my 100th journal entry. I had planned to mark the moment and all, but it kinda slipped away. Another thing I planned for that didn't happen. See? See? Anyway, this journal now stands proud with 100 plus entries and has outlasted the longest relationship I've been in. That makes me feel alternatively happy and sadly pathetic.
I find that my writing style remains consistent though. Not much has changed on that front. Like I said, badly and from the heart. But it still makes me laugh now and then.
Maybe that's what life is all about. Random moments where you find something inane to laugh about. Maybe that's all there is. Huh.
Anyway, I'm bored now. And obsessed with tarot cards.
Barnacle out.
So, I'm going through a bit of a spiritual limbo right now. Either that, or they're just not giving me enough homework at the Uni. It's probably the second. That would explain how I managed to score the highest grade in Stakeholder Analysis of all things in a class of 30. Apparently, in Europe I'm a nerd. At least that's Sahai's explanation. Speaking of the magnet for the demented, this might be a good time to point out that she's the one friend I have somehow managed to not lose touch with. That's one good thing, I suppose.
Back to the limbo. Well, I don't exactly have this narrowed down to a science but there is a sense of purposelessness around me these days. I know I'm supposed to be somewhere but I'm just not there yet, and the move is painfully slow. This would be easier if I knew what I was looking for in the first place. Oh well.
Plus, at the risk of sounding completely crazy I've figured out that things will literally never go as I planned. This is not a derivation. It's fucking fact. If I plan something, it will not happen. Not in a million years. On the other hand it will happen when I least expect it and smack me in the face with a steak or something. So I absolutely refuse to plan any more, I'm scared.
On a completely unrelated note, I recently discovered that I have gone past my 100th journal entry. I had planned to mark the moment and all, but it kinda slipped away. Another thing I planned for that didn't happen. See? See? Anyway, this journal now stands proud with 100 plus entries and has outlasted the longest relationship I've been in. That makes me feel alternatively happy and sadly pathetic.
I find that my writing style remains consistent though. Not much has changed on that front. Like I said, badly and from the heart. But it still makes me laugh now and then.
Maybe that's what life is all about. Random moments where you find something inane to laugh about. Maybe that's all there is. Huh.
Anyway, I'm bored now. And obsessed with tarot cards.
Barnacle out.