Admiting my mistakes...
About a year and a half ago I made a decision. What I didnt know is that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I decided to move with friends across the country to Vancouver Island to live.
I am miserable here. I love the island way of life and the weather is amazing. What I hate is living with my friends, and not having any freedom. Everything I say or do is wrong, everything that happens in the house seems to be my fault and I feel like I am in the way when i do anything but if I keep my distance they make comments about me being anti social. I feel trapped and I cant even go visit friends or family to get away for a bit. Hell I cant even talk to friends or family on the phone without my roomate eavesdropping to every word.
I got a parcel yesterday from a friend. So when i got home I brought the parcel upstairs to my room. Before I could open my desk drawer to find scissors she was at my door wanting to know who the parcel was from (because she didnt recognize the name) and what it was. Then when i showed her she wanted to know who was the person, how i knew them and why she hadnt heard about them before. I mean I am 35 years old...since when do I need a mommy looking over everything i do?
I want more than anything to go home. To at least be back in my home province.
But thanks to a wonderful friend, it looks like my opportunity is going to happen soon. My friend Tony, who I have known forever (approx 20+ years) is planning to buy a duplex with his partner and i will rent the apartment of it from them. He is also planning on flying to BC and driving back with me across the country so that I can bring my stuff with me. We are planning a marathon drive....4500+ kilometres in 3 days. I am so excited about the move. Tony and I have already begun planning and decorating ...even though they havent even seen the house yet. We are getting a little ahead of ourselves but it just feels good to get excited about something again. I have spent so much time in the last year feeling bad or guilty. Thank god for friends who really care.
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