it's a hard knock Wike, for us....
We're back from the Loose Teeth Press High Life Tour 2006.
We got pretty drunk on Thursday night, so the tour got off to a late start, and we almost forgot to take books with us. On the way south across the border we ended up having to pull off into the area where they rip your car to shit and look for drugs. It was kind of tense, but in the end we just had to pay $5 duty for bringing books ("samples to give away") in to the US. As soon as we were across we stopped at a gas station. v1agra and I both made the mistake (independent of one another) of buying a Rockstar Juiced thinking it was a Rockstar 21. Wow, worst drink ever. Seriously, as Mike said, they pretty much just ruined some juice. Got some lunch at Taco Bell (crucnhwrap supremes, damn cheap). We eventually made it to Portland, and even found the University.
When we got to the z-eye-n symposium we were informed that people had been asking where we were (by we I mean not me). They eventually found us and were, well, really big fans of thisisfurious' and untoward's as they knew everything there is to know about A Softer World and had all the merch already. They were also clearly the most excited that we (again, not me) were there.
Mike and I took a walk to 7-11 where we had the first of many visits to our friend Paco, that surly bastard. Much to our joy (and eventual chagrin) we discovered that in the land of the free you can get a Sparks Plus, a Tilt and a Rockstar 21 for like, $4. We also discovered that while you can buy all these at once for cheap, you shouldn't necessarily drink all 3 of them in one afternoon.
After the zine-ing was done for the day we went and had some dinner then grabbed some big beers for some parkade drinking. Afterwards we watched Footloose in the Pioneer Courthouse Square (jump back!). Then back to the van for some terrible, terrible sleep. Some dude started smashing his bike into a pole because it wouldn't stay standing up. I think I got about 3 hours of sleep all night.
The morning brought more zines AND the discovery that there is a huge farmers market held right outside the building in which the symposium was held. Fresh pesto and bread for breakfast. The rest of the day (well, the entirety of the time we spent inside the symposium room) was spent drinking and making fun of zine nerds. Thaaaaat's right, we're assholes. Also knuckle tattoos, we did a bunch of that. After that day was done we got some more big beers and some samosas that made our picnic dinner.
There was a Zinester Prom. On the way there we missed a No Left Turns sign and got pulled over. At this point there was 2 days worth of empties in the van ("oh, we're from Canada and don't have these drink there, so we're saving the empties"). Fucking $250 ticket! So we sat around and drank in the van for a while then headed over to the prom (aka underage nerd dance party where no one dances and the dj doesn't know how to dj). We were in the neighbourhood of the Vegan Doughnut place tho. Those are tastey, and by agreeing to buy some girl the cock n balls doughnut emily ended up making $15. We were not, however, in the neighbourhood to buy beers, so we had to settle for watching Noodles, Baby Huey and Flip Flops College Beardo do their respective things (dance by bending over double and flailing his limbs, punch the decorations and walk around like he ate 5 hits of acid and, well, have flip flops and beard, and go to college). Another night of van sleeping - more comfortable this time.
The next day was more of the same (drinking, being asses) and also brought the debut of Das Softerland. We took off early and headed up to the west coast of Washington. The drive was all sunny and nice, but as we approached the park that we planned to camp in it got super foggy and dark. We drove through 2 towns that had no visibly humans , then along this dark wooded road that had a couple cars abandoned on the shoulder. Creepiest.Drive.EVER! We went to check out the beach, and while turning around got the van stuck in the sand, so emily and i had to push. Doing so while standing in the softest sand ever isn't easy. As soon as we got to the campsite, it was totally cool. No rapist or murderers, just aggressive raccoons (which i hate, but aren't scary). Junior and I tried for about an hour to start a fire with only big logs and newspaper. No dice. We drank in the van for a while then went to bed.
I think this brings us up to Monday, which was passed by hiking to the Cape Disappointment Lighthouse, doing your usual camping type stuff, hemming my shorts with a knife and an axe then swimming in the hideously cold (but very much worth it) surf. When we went to buy our dinner I bought the biggest can of beer ever. 32oz! That's almost a litre of beer in one can. Pretty good dinner (fire cooked veggies and tofu, with chocolate stuffed marshmallows for desert). Lost of playing with the fire, drinking and melting the empties (both cans and glass).
Drive back the next day, nothing terribly exciting, went to the McSweeneys store in Seattle (thanks for all the address looking up, Caroline!), couldn't find the Vans outlet store (thanks for trying, Caroline). Got a big ol' bottle of gin at duty free, made the 8pm ferry, then home to Wednesday.
emily will have more pictures soon!
We got pretty drunk on Thursday night, so the tour got off to a late start, and we almost forgot to take books with us. On the way south across the border we ended up having to pull off into the area where they rip your car to shit and look for drugs. It was kind of tense, but in the end we just had to pay $5 duty for bringing books ("samples to give away") in to the US. As soon as we were across we stopped at a gas station. v1agra and I both made the mistake (independent of one another) of buying a Rockstar Juiced thinking it was a Rockstar 21. Wow, worst drink ever. Seriously, as Mike said, they pretty much just ruined some juice. Got some lunch at Taco Bell (crucnhwrap supremes, damn cheap). We eventually made it to Portland, and even found the University.
When we got to the z-eye-n symposium we were informed that people had been asking where we were (by we I mean not me). They eventually found us and were, well, really big fans of thisisfurious' and untoward's as they knew everything there is to know about A Softer World and had all the merch already. They were also clearly the most excited that we (again, not me) were there.
Mike and I took a walk to 7-11 where we had the first of many visits to our friend Paco, that surly bastard. Much to our joy (and eventual chagrin) we discovered that in the land of the free you can get a Sparks Plus, a Tilt and a Rockstar 21 for like, $4. We also discovered that while you can buy all these at once for cheap, you shouldn't necessarily drink all 3 of them in one afternoon.
After the zine-ing was done for the day we went and had some dinner then grabbed some big beers for some parkade drinking. Afterwards we watched Footloose in the Pioneer Courthouse Square (jump back!). Then back to the van for some terrible, terrible sleep. Some dude started smashing his bike into a pole because it wouldn't stay standing up. I think I got about 3 hours of sleep all night.
The morning brought more zines AND the discovery that there is a huge farmers market held right outside the building in which the symposium was held. Fresh pesto and bread for breakfast. The rest of the day (well, the entirety of the time we spent inside the symposium room) was spent drinking and making fun of zine nerds. Thaaaaat's right, we're assholes. Also knuckle tattoos, we did a bunch of that. After that day was done we got some more big beers and some samosas that made our picnic dinner.
There was a Zinester Prom. On the way there we missed a No Left Turns sign and got pulled over. At this point there was 2 days worth of empties in the van ("oh, we're from Canada and don't have these drink there, so we're saving the empties"). Fucking $250 ticket! So we sat around and drank in the van for a while then headed over to the prom (aka underage nerd dance party where no one dances and the dj doesn't know how to dj). We were in the neighbourhood of the Vegan Doughnut place tho. Those are tastey, and by agreeing to buy some girl the cock n balls doughnut emily ended up making $15. We were not, however, in the neighbourhood to buy beers, so we had to settle for watching Noodles, Baby Huey and Flip Flops College Beardo do their respective things (dance by bending over double and flailing his limbs, punch the decorations and walk around like he ate 5 hits of acid and, well, have flip flops and beard, and go to college). Another night of van sleeping - more comfortable this time.
The next day was more of the same (drinking, being asses) and also brought the debut of Das Softerland. We took off early and headed up to the west coast of Washington. The drive was all sunny and nice, but as we approached the park that we planned to camp in it got super foggy and dark. We drove through 2 towns that had no visibly humans , then along this dark wooded road that had a couple cars abandoned on the shoulder. Creepiest.Drive.EVER! We went to check out the beach, and while turning around got the van stuck in the sand, so emily and i had to push. Doing so while standing in the softest sand ever isn't easy. As soon as we got to the campsite, it was totally cool. No rapist or murderers, just aggressive raccoons (which i hate, but aren't scary). Junior and I tried for about an hour to start a fire with only big logs and newspaper. No dice. We drank in the van for a while then went to bed.
I think this brings us up to Monday, which was passed by hiking to the Cape Disappointment Lighthouse, doing your usual camping type stuff, hemming my shorts with a knife and an axe then swimming in the hideously cold (but very much worth it) surf. When we went to buy our dinner I bought the biggest can of beer ever. 32oz! That's almost a litre of beer in one can. Pretty good dinner (fire cooked veggies and tofu, with chocolate stuffed marshmallows for desert). Lost of playing with the fire, drinking and melting the empties (both cans and glass).
Drive back the next day, nothing terribly exciting, went to the McSweeneys store in Seattle (thanks for all the address looking up, Caroline!), couldn't find the Vans outlet store (thanks for trying, Caroline). Got a big ol' bottle of gin at duty free, made the 8pm ferry, then home to Wednesday.
emily will have more pictures soon!