(no subject)
katie and holly both had breakdowns last night.
katie's was triggered by holly's but they were
both about the same thing. and they both called me.
it was easy to understand exactly how they were
feeling, i knew exactly what they were saying and
where their mind set was. i could relate to every
emotion they were feeling. the only problem with
that is i had the same questions as them, hence not
being able to really help them. holly was a little easier
to talk to about it because she wasn't looking for answers.
she, as well as me, knew exactly what to say and knew
exactly what she had to do, it was a matter of going about
it and getting it done that was frustrating.
i suppose it would help if you knew
what we were all so stressed about;;
we're all stuck. and that's just the short version of it.
all three of us;
dropped out.
& have no idea what step we want to take next.
holly;
is slightly insecure about the GED thing and has started
thinking more about "if i would have just stayed in school
i wouldn't have to worry about half this shit." [trust me,
i couldn't agree more.] it's also hard on her job wise because
her application says "high school drop out. quit first and
only job" it's not that she can't get a job with an application
like that, she just has to start from the bottom again and that
makes it a little more difficult on her. &&she has a lot of debts
to pay off, which aren't getting any less right now because she
still has to borrow money until she starts working more. getting
this job was a start and she's on her way and she knows that, it's
just stressful and she reached a breaking point.
katie;
dropped out of school and didn't go back or get her GED. she works
at a job that she doesn't really like, but feels like she has to
stay there because she needs to be making money somehow. she has no
idea what her next step is going to be, she's not ready to grow up
or to handle the pressures of doing so. she knows what she needs to
do but she's scared to do it or doesn't know how to do it. she needs
to learn to get her priorities straight, like saving money to move out
or get a better car instead of buying bus tickets for people to come
and visit.
and then there's me;
i'm doing nothing with my life right now, i haven't had a steady job
in 8 months and it's killing me. i owe my mother money, so much money.
and i don't want her paying for things. i want to pay for my cell phone
and i want to buy my own car and start saving for my first apartment. and
i even want to work, i love to work it gives me something to do. i'd even work
at burgerville again because i miss working so much. on top of all that i
want the fuck out of here. i want something to be final for the first time
in my life. i want to go take my asvab, no more studying i'm going down
as soon as i can. i want to have a date set to leave for boot camp.
i wish i would breakdown.
there's too many emotions in my right now.
i want to cry. i want to get it out to
someone. i want someone to understand.
i want to let it all go.
katie's was triggered by holly's but they were
both about the same thing. and they both called me.
it was easy to understand exactly how they were
feeling, i knew exactly what they were saying and
where their mind set was. i could relate to every
emotion they were feeling. the only problem with
that is i had the same questions as them, hence not
being able to really help them. holly was a little easier
to talk to about it because she wasn't looking for answers.
she, as well as me, knew exactly what to say and knew
exactly what she had to do, it was a matter of going about
it and getting it done that was frustrating.
i suppose it would help if you knew
what we were all so stressed about;;
we're all stuck. and that's just the short version of it.
all three of us;
dropped out.
& have no idea what step we want to take next.
holly;
is slightly insecure about the GED thing and has started
thinking more about "if i would have just stayed in school
i wouldn't have to worry about half this shit." [trust me,
i couldn't agree more.] it's also hard on her job wise because
her application says "high school drop out. quit first and
only job" it's not that she can't get a job with an application
like that, she just has to start from the bottom again and that
makes it a little more difficult on her. &&she has a lot of debts
to pay off, which aren't getting any less right now because she
still has to borrow money until she starts working more. getting
this job was a start and she's on her way and she knows that, it's
just stressful and she reached a breaking point.
katie;
dropped out of school and didn't go back or get her GED. she works
at a job that she doesn't really like, but feels like she has to
stay there because she needs to be making money somehow. she has no
idea what her next step is going to be, she's not ready to grow up
or to handle the pressures of doing so. she knows what she needs to
do but she's scared to do it or doesn't know how to do it. she needs
to learn to get her priorities straight, like saving money to move out
or get a better car instead of buying bus tickets for people to come
and visit.
and then there's me;
i'm doing nothing with my life right now, i haven't had a steady job
in 8 months and it's killing me. i owe my mother money, so much money.
and i don't want her paying for things. i want to pay for my cell phone
and i want to buy my own car and start saving for my first apartment. and
i even want to work, i love to work it gives me something to do. i'd even work
at burgerville again because i miss working so much. on top of all that i
want the fuck out of here. i want something to be final for the first time
in my life. i want to go take my asvab, no more studying i'm going down
as soon as i can. i want to have a date set to leave for boot camp.
i wish i would breakdown.
there's too many emotions in my right now.
i want to cry. i want to get it out to
someone. i want someone to understand.
i want to let it all go.