(no subject)

[scared_of_dying]

i need out of here. i've gone insane.
some would beg to differ and say that
i was already insane but no, i just now
lost it. well, earlier today i did.
i shouldn't have contact with anyone
then i can't lash out on anyone and i can't
talk shit and i deff can't fuck anything up.
oh well what's done is done.

i can't wait to leave for boot camp. which
is goofy because it's like i'm leaving one
hell to go to another. ha. whatever.

i just need to study my ass off for the asvab
and then get everything set up to leave. i'm
thinking i'll either take the test on friday
or next week sometime. we'll see how well i
do on the practice tests tonight and tomorrow.
and then, back in to talk to my recruiter and
get some dates set. =]

anyways. i'm sorry for being a bitch.
it happens when i'm stressed to the point
of exhaustion. annoying i know. and i know
it's no excuse and i know this won't help
anything and i know nothing will ever be
fixed or go back to normal. but i owe at
least that simple apology to you.