Looks like Weird Al isn't the only one that came out with a comedy album because K-Fed's Playing with Fire is hilarious. I feel sorry for anyone who plunked down big money for this album. I just finished killing about 5000 brain cells listening to the album in it's entirety and taking notes.
1. Intro:
A lame intro with some kids begging their grandfather to tell them a story from when he was younger. Then you hear entertainment news reports saying "According to sources, Federline's marriage to pop superstar Britney Spears has reached its last straw." Oh really? *lol* And the best one yet, "Does the Fresno, California native really have what it takes to be a successful rapper?
2. The World is Mine -- the beat is very relaxed and simple. Sounds like something you could hook up with a Casio keyboard. The song is pretty awful with K-Fed describing how he owns the world.
Worst part:
I'm a pirate of the sea
Call me Cap'n Hook
Everything belong to me
Every cranny and nook
Best part:
I make music America can feel
Don't get it twisted
Popozao was for Brazil
note: I loooooooooooved Popozao!
3. America's Most Hated -- The beat is very nice. Like the pianos in the background.
Oh my god the intro is terrible! It reminds me of the Star Wars Gangsta rap when Luke asks R2 for another gin & tonic. Bentframe needs to sue! Anyway this is a song where K-Fed raps about how good and underrated he is and how he'll continue to be America's Most Hated.
Worst:
Kevin Federline: I come tight with every rhyme.
OR
This marijuana got me heavily sedated. I'm Kevin Federline: America's Most Hated.
Best Line:
I'm handing out ass kicking like diplomas.
I think the following segment of this song sums up K-Fed's attitude about his album and why he was able to bring it out while more talented people can't even get a record deal. Check this out:
Who told this bastard that he can't rap?
I got 50 mil.
I can do whatever I want.
I don't need a deal.
I can do whatever I want.
I just keep it real.
I can say whatever I want.
4. Snap -- From the title you would think that it was a song about him going crazy on people but it's not. It's about the power he has in his fingers or should I say fingaz.
Worst line: Yeah, I'm hotter than a pizza oven.
Best line: I don't say shit. I just snap fingaz. *LOL*
5. Lose Control -- We all know this song already but sadly I have to say it's one of the best on the album. The beat is awesome.
Worst: Don't hate becuz I'm a superstar. And I married a superstar. Never come between us no matter who you are.
OR
Look man, I'm in a whole 'nother tax bracket.
Best line: No tuxedo cuz they reco'nize me.
OR
Lemme take you back to 5 o'clock when I pull the Lamborghini on the block.
6. Dance with a Pimp -- The song is pure garbage. I don't even like the beat.
Worst line: Kicks so Nike. Car so Bentley.
Best line: Dudes hate K-Fed. Girls love K-Fed. It don't matter to me becuz K-Fed stay fed.
7. Privilege -- This is the song that he performed on the Tonight with Jay Leno. This song is awful and I don't understand why he would pick this song to showcase his talent. The chorus is terrible. It's trying to hard to be cool and the faux Tony Toni Tone vibe is not getting it.
Worst: I ain't tryin' to brag but I'm popping tags. Filling the Lamborghini up with shopping bags.
8. Crazy -- Britney Spears is providing the hook for this song. It's got a good beat but as usual shitty lyrics.
Worst: When the pen hits the pad it's in the left hand. Every single word is worth thirty grand... or maybe more. Don't think they understand how much cake the pancake man had.
Best: Not a pretty boy but I look like a model dude. (I'm sorry that line is just funny as hell to me).
9. A League of My Own -- I swear I've heard the beat to this song somewhere else but I can't place it. And K-Fed's delivery is biting off of Eminem way too much.
Worst: Budge me I think not I'm too pudgy.
The refrain is pretty awful too.
I came to get down.
I came to get right.
You came to go home so have a good night.
Best: Looking like a model, ho. Say I'm fine. Fifty thousand on a watch. I stay on time.
10. Playing with Fire -- You would hope that the title track would be one of the strongest songs of the album. Sorry to disappoint you. The intro again is awful. Apparently one of K-Fed's buddies is running late for an engagement. K-Fed calls him. waking the guy up, saying that they only have until 7:00. K-Fed calls himself chewing the dude out. "Alright man. Holla at your damn self." *rolls eyes*
Worst: The chorus is just "You're playing with fire" over and over again.
Best: Paparazzi caging me like an animal in the zoo. Taking flicks and talking about everything I do.
11. Caught Up (intro)
I don't know why K-Fed wanted to put this phone converstaion on the CD. It's not even funny. The guy on the other line is even lamer than K-Fed. He reads off what's on his email signature for cripes' sake. "Does it make me a theif just because I stole your girl's virginity?"
12. Caught Up -- I'm surprised. This song is not that bad. K-Fed manages not to talk about weed or drop any designer brands. The song focuses more on relationships during tough times and how he wants to work things through.
Worst: Now i'm chopped up feeling like a vegetable. *ROTFLMFAO*
Best: Now I'm feeling like George Bush and Osama. We gotta stop the shit put an end to this drama.
13. Kept on Talking/Middle Finger (Bonus Track) -- I really hoped that the bonus track would be some remix of Popozao. I just need to let that song go. K-Fed and the world (except for Brazil) didn't realize how great that song was. ;_; These two songs are just more of K-Fed's posturing and how much people are hating on him. Middle Finger is trying too hard to be anthemic like Damn by Youngbloodz (that was an awesome song). K-Fed goes way too far on Middle Finger when he compares himself Jesus saying that he's crucified like him. K-Fed really needs to get over himself.
To quote K-Fed, his rap career came to go home so have a good night.
After listening to the album I had a couple of nagging questions:
1. Who or what is the pancake man? Is that some Fresno slang that a girl from Chicago just wouldn't understand?
2. How many Yankees caps K-Fed own? I lost count I think he mentioned them in at least three
songs.
3. How many different nicknames does K-Fed have for the Paparazzi?
4. How much does Britney give him for his allowance?