hmm. its been a minute
not really suicidal, but when it happens..you cant say you never would have thought that of me
so i stopped writhing in here again because some people helped me come to the realisation that no woman wants a man with feelings...ok thats a little too far, let me rephrase. no woman wants a man who shows his feelings. thanks beccaW and kristen...but fuck, i dont care what women want. they can go on. cause one day im gonna find one that likes me without me having to lie or make crap up. how do i know that what i write wont affect the rest of my life by some stranger who ranomly picks my journal to look at...not that i would actualy go that route with someone over here...thats just kind of scarry. sorry my mind is going 3000 MPH. so in my boredom today (2-6) i decided to do some fast off the top of my head writing. which im going to start doing more often and saving it and hopefully make some songs out of it one day. REMEMBER: be on the lookout for a band called "Fresh With Gil" or possibly "Fresh With Guilt"...Thanks again BeccaW. so what ever...here
spare me your words, your adjustable nouns and verbs. your throat full of retractors and corkscrews, i just want you...the real you. oh God her eyes, her beautiful whirlpool eyes that drag me down, incapable of lies...lies. my smokers lungs unable to provide enough oxygen, and my broken heart unable to pump enough blood to the parts of my body that lose feeling when im dragged under by your current. Thoughts of submission or flight spark. I ask God, and He says nothing like always. So i stop the struggle and accept my fate as the boy you will either grow to love or reject and hate.
come on...tell me i suck. Go ahead and punch me in the face while your at it...................please? :(
so i stopped writhing in here again because some people helped me come to the realisation that no woman wants a man with feelings...ok thats a little too far, let me rephrase. no woman wants a man who shows his feelings. thanks beccaW and kristen...but fuck, i dont care what women want. they can go on. cause one day im gonna find one that likes me without me having to lie or make crap up. how do i know that what i write wont affect the rest of my life by some stranger who ranomly picks my journal to look at...not that i would actualy go that route with someone over here...thats just kind of scarry. sorry my mind is going 3000 MPH. so in my boredom today (2-6) i decided to do some fast off the top of my head writing. which im going to start doing more often and saving it and hopefully make some songs out of it one day. REMEMBER: be on the lookout for a band called "Fresh With Gil" or possibly "Fresh With Guilt"...Thanks again BeccaW. so what ever...here
spare me your words, your adjustable nouns and verbs. your throat full of retractors and corkscrews, i just want you...the real you. oh God her eyes, her beautiful whirlpool eyes that drag me down, incapable of lies...lies. my smokers lungs unable to provide enough oxygen, and my broken heart unable to pump enough blood to the parts of my body that lose feeling when im dragged under by your current. Thoughts of submission or flight spark. I ask God, and He says nothing like always. So i stop the struggle and accept my fate as the boy you will either grow to love or reject and hate.
come on...tell me i suck. Go ahead and punch me in the face while your at it...................please? :(