(no subject)
Well it's been quite some time since I have last updated. My life has changed and the people in it and around it have changed A LOT since I last updated. I've become closer with some friends, fought and made up with some friends, met new friends, said goodbye to those leaving for college, and lost one friend without any reason. I've worked 3 jobs this summer, played in 15-16 golf tournaments, and had basketball atleast twice a week, as well as work at 2 basketball camps. Things have happened that are out of my reach, things have happened that I don't understand, and things have happened that have hurt me... REALLY hurt me, but "everything happens for a reason." There are things that have opened my eyes to the world around me. Things that have happened that made me realize, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone". I've learned in life "treat others how you would like to be treated" and if only everyone would live by that, life would be amazingly perfect... but not everyone does. We start school... senior year... August 23. It will be the LAST for everything. Last first day of the school year in high school. Last football games. Last Homecoming. Last of all dances. Last basketball game. Last golf tournament. Last . . . day . . . of . . . high school... ever. I think if I get asked one more time where I am going to college, I will kill someone... cause I don't know and I don't know how the heck I will choose. Do I take one of seven D1 college golf offers or do I go to State? Do I go to Miami University, Arizona, or Arizona State and risk being THAT far away from home? Miami is only about a 5-6 hour drive... but Arizona and ASU are another story. I want to become a college basketball coach one day... then after I retire from coaching, I would like to teach at the high school level and coach while doing so. I am anxious to start school... but at the same time I hope it never starts... but once it does start, I wish it would never end. I still feel like something is missing, but I don't know what it is. I still like the same guy I've liked since the beginning of my sophomore year... some of you know who he is, and then the rest of you don't. Ok so I lied, most of you know who it is (but he doesn't so SHHHHHH). I've also learned to just be yourself, don't care what others think of you, live it up, and don't ever change who you are for someone else. I will be 16 when I start senior year. I will turn 17 on September 13... same day as my bestest friend ever, Lauren Zielinski. I also finally have the answer for the worst feeling in the world, which for me - losing a friend. That's the worst feeling in the world for me, when I lose a friend... something I will never understand. How can people go from good friends and hour long conversations with, to never wanting to talk to you again and doing all that without reason to do so? I've lost 4 friends, 2 girls and 2 guys, in my life so far and am at the moment, losing a 5th. Treat others how you would like to be treated people. We all have feelings, and as badass and nonchalant and nice... EXTREMELY nice as I am, I have feelings too. I do a very good job in hiding my feelings. I'm told that you get in fights with the people you care about the most, because those are the relationships your willing to fight for... which I believe in entirely true. I love my friends, every single one of them. I'd take a bullet for each and every one of them, I truly love my friends. We fight with friends because those are the relationships we care about, don't want to lose, and would fight for, that we truly care about. Sometimes we all put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. Some of you have really surprised me, some people that I would never expect to be there for me in a time that I need someone... come out of the blue and are there for me. We all have to be the change WE want to see in the world. People change, things go wrong, but life goes on. When I went down to Miami of Ohio this past week to visit friends, I read this very good quote that I thought was really touching and true "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over... it became a butterfly." I think that quote can be applied to anything and everything in life. Also, "If God brought you to it, God will bring you through it." Here is a VERY good "poem" so to say and you need to take the time to read it, it is very good. I e-mailed this to a bunch of you a year ago, so you may have read it before... but read it again. Very good.
I believe-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe-
that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I believe-
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last
time you see them.
I believe-
that you can keep going, long after you can't.
I believe-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I believe-
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I believe-
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I believe-
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe-
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe-
that it isn't always enough to be
forgiven by others. Sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe-
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
I believe-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I believe-
that two people can look at the exact
same thing and see something totally different.
I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.
I believe-
that even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.
I believe-
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I believe-
that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
Now I am done with my entry. All I have left to say are a few more things: go check out my backstreet boys soundcheck and concert pictures at http://community.webshots.com/album/412968089YUHbzw and the last thing I have to say...
I don't understand. You have no reason, you can't even give me a reason. I wish you wouldn't hurt me like this. I wish you would explain to me why you are doing this. I wish you would treat me like a human being instead of something that can be thrown away and torn apart without caring what you just did. I have feelings too. You've torn me apart inside. You've managed to do all this while being very cold-hearted, shallow, shady, two-faced, and words that I cannot even begin to describe. Stop being a coward, atleast the other 4 could tell me over the phone their reasons and talk about it. That was also back in middle school... what you are doing is childish, plain and simple. Weirdest part is that you're a big christian, you believe in what is taught, you go to my church and you go to a catholic school... yet you still do this?