(no subject)
The entire time I was on livejournal (I got really into it as a teen, when you still needed a special invite code to join) I kept multiple livejournals. One I would share with people I knew socially and one or two or sometimes even three that were secret and I only shared with strangers. Eventually I would share the secret livejournal with someone I knew, always someone I had some sort of intimate connection with, and shortly after I'd have to abandon it for a new secret one because as soon as I knew someone I knew was seeing it I wouldn't be able to be honest anymore.
It's interesting to see how I've stopped in every couple of years to try to get closer to honesty. It's also interesting how I wasn't able to do it until now. Still trying to give the impression that I believed what I wrote here may have ever been any kind of accurate representation of my thoughts or my self.
I'm glad I grew up with the internet and things like this existed so that I had a space to practice telling my truth and sharing it. Now I'm really good at it. It's interesting to see how obsessed I was with appearing sweet, shallow, and likeable. I wonder if other people try to appear this way. I wonder if I still do. I think it may have something to do with gender.
Also very interesting that my mouth is covered in my profile picture.
Anyway, I should probably delete this soon.
It's interesting to see how I've stopped in every couple of years to try to get closer to honesty. It's also interesting how I wasn't able to do it until now. Still trying to give the impression that I believed what I wrote here may have ever been any kind of accurate representation of my thoughts or my self.
I'm glad I grew up with the internet and things like this existed so that I had a space to practice telling my truth and sharing it. Now I'm really good at it. It's interesting to see how obsessed I was with appearing sweet, shallow, and likeable. I wonder if other people try to appear this way. I wonder if I still do. I think it may have something to do with gender.
Also very interesting that my mouth is covered in my profile picture.
Anyway, I should probably delete this soon.