Miss Popular take 2...
Okay, so, I'm stressing out to the point where I let the stress beat me today and just decided that crying was the best thing to do. After the crying... i made an action plan so i guess it was the best thing to do. i made some calls to get the newsletter somewhat sorted before monday - it's due in wednesday by the way and i won't have anything to work with until monday. i'm not... that much of a journalist... so yes, i am going to stress out a little bit more because i have to write all the stories too.
i might employ people to help there, cause... seriously?
but it gave me a nice excuse to call 'him'. he asked me to explain to him why i like him the way i do, i told him he should know better. he should - i have intimacy issues and regardless of being able to talk to him about nearly everything i always hold that part of me back. i just think i can show it better and if i can't then at least it won't hurt as much if he rejects me. but that's a headache for another day, i'm thinking probably a friday when i see him again and we have more deep discussion about where we are going with this secret relationship thing.
anyway, he cheered me up, calmed me down, and helped me with my other project because hostels are his strong point. well, i would consider myself pretty knowledgeable of hostels now but... he would know them better, he has experience with them. i have to produce a questionnaire to inspire young people to be more aware of organisations like youth aid in a bid to get the organisation more funding and to get patrick some help in his department. he's an old man working that department literally on his own, it's not nice and it's not efficient.
in other news, my phone is a hotspot as of late and i like it because not a single phone call or text has been from simone. is it wrong for it to be a little boost to my ego each day i don't receive a phone call from her? it's like... my social life didn't revolve around her like i originally thought. in fact, after my little talk with my friend it actually dawned on me how little my life revolves around her. we have... three people in common now. anton, jermaine and ryan. ryan i knew first plus our mummies know each other XD, she's been neglecting jermaine [according to him] and anton isn't really apart of my life... really. the occasionaly phone call because i don't have a real reason to air him but...
now the thing about her neglecting jermaine. see, i asked about her and he said he hasn't seen her in a piece still. next day [today] she texts me, her words being; 'rach, sory i aint holerd iv had no credit wotsoeva. hpe evryfingz kl coz i aint herd 4rm ya x'. it's literally like, every move she makes proves my friend right. she didn't have no credit yet i was there when she got promises from two people to buy her a five day pass. that's ten days worth of credit, and i know that one of those days she decided to text someone and tell him to tell me to ring her. plus, she, like me, has multiple o2 accounts to send free texts from on the internet. my number didn't change and her fingers ain't broke, if she wanted to talk to me she would have.
k.m.f.t.
i look at it this way, she is out of my life. i don't do two-faced people. but i have come to the conclusion that i definitely need a new phone. not only does it randomly switch off and the memory card slot not work but now it's got simone's name and number burned into it's memory. i deleted her number, so why the phone is telling me it's simone sending the message i do not know.
and in other news, i got taken cinema today. i thought the concept of a date was lost on my generation, something reserved for AFTER you decided to get together with a guy, it was a big part of what i liked about him [the him from above]. he takes me on dates and holds the door open for me, lets me walk first, all that gentlemanly stuff boys my age don't know about but this guy - marlon, he nearly proved me wrong. he took me cinema and paid for everything. he flopped a bit on the ladies first rule but... it was encouraging. he's still a bit too quiet for me though, it's tj all over again. i just pray i don't have to change my number again.
either way i think i've decided where i want my heart to go. it's just a matter of convincing him, which is gonna be difficult with those intimacy issues i have. but i know that i care about him enough that i might just let him get that close, it's just so difficult to do. at least with choko i had an excuse, the language barrier ¬_¬ cause, i won't lie, there were times he asked me something and i understood just fine i just didn't want to answer. the answer would have made me all vulnerable and things... but here i don't have that excuse... enough rambling.
i might employ people to help there, cause... seriously?
but it gave me a nice excuse to call 'him'. he asked me to explain to him why i like him the way i do, i told him he should know better. he should - i have intimacy issues and regardless of being able to talk to him about nearly everything i always hold that part of me back. i just think i can show it better and if i can't then at least it won't hurt as much if he rejects me. but that's a headache for another day, i'm thinking probably a friday when i see him again and we have more deep discussion about where we are going with this secret relationship thing.
anyway, he cheered me up, calmed me down, and helped me with my other project because hostels are his strong point. well, i would consider myself pretty knowledgeable of hostels now but... he would know them better, he has experience with them. i have to produce a questionnaire to inspire young people to be more aware of organisations like youth aid in a bid to get the organisation more funding and to get patrick some help in his department. he's an old man working that department literally on his own, it's not nice and it's not efficient.
in other news, my phone is a hotspot as of late and i like it because not a single phone call or text has been from simone. is it wrong for it to be a little boost to my ego each day i don't receive a phone call from her? it's like... my social life didn't revolve around her like i originally thought. in fact, after my little talk with my friend it actually dawned on me how little my life revolves around her. we have... three people in common now. anton, jermaine and ryan. ryan i knew first plus our mummies know each other XD, she's been neglecting jermaine [according to him] and anton isn't really apart of my life... really. the occasionaly phone call because i don't have a real reason to air him but...
now the thing about her neglecting jermaine. see, i asked about her and he said he hasn't seen her in a piece still. next day [today] she texts me, her words being; 'rach, sory i aint holerd iv had no credit wotsoeva. hpe evryfingz kl coz i aint herd 4rm ya x'. it's literally like, every move she makes proves my friend right. she didn't have no credit yet i was there when she got promises from two people to buy her a five day pass. that's ten days worth of credit, and i know that one of those days she decided to text someone and tell him to tell me to ring her. plus, she, like me, has multiple o2 accounts to send free texts from on the internet. my number didn't change and her fingers ain't broke, if she wanted to talk to me she would have.
k.m.f.t.
i look at it this way, she is out of my life. i don't do two-faced people. but i have come to the conclusion that i definitely need a new phone. not only does it randomly switch off and the memory card slot not work but now it's got simone's name and number burned into it's memory. i deleted her number, so why the phone is telling me it's simone sending the message i do not know.
and in other news, i got taken cinema today. i thought the concept of a date was lost on my generation, something reserved for AFTER you decided to get together with a guy, it was a big part of what i liked about him [the him from above]. he takes me on dates and holds the door open for me, lets me walk first, all that gentlemanly stuff boys my age don't know about but this guy - marlon, he nearly proved me wrong. he took me cinema and paid for everything. he flopped a bit on the ladies first rule but... it was encouraging. he's still a bit too quiet for me though, it's tj all over again. i just pray i don't have to change my number again.
either way i think i've decided where i want my heart to go. it's just a matter of convincing him, which is gonna be difficult with those intimacy issues i have. but i know that i care about him enough that i might just let him get that close, it's just so difficult to do. at least with choko i had an excuse, the language barrier ¬_¬ cause, i won't lie, there were times he asked me something and i understood just fine i just didn't want to answer. the answer would have made me all vulnerable and things... but here i don't have that excuse... enough rambling.