I'm locked inside this house, while You hold the key

Apr 12, 2005 17:26

Happy, depressed, hopeful, discouraged, angry, enraged, joyful, sad, irked, annoyed, furious, peaceful, encouraged, content, punchy, cynical...

All those words are just a sample that describe someone's life emotions.  I'm sure everyone has felt like that a point in their life, no matter how old you are.  Those emotions, as well as the words have been running through my mind for quite sometime, well only about a week.  I don't understand, and probably will never understand, life or anything related to it.

I had an argument with my mom not an hour ago.  It was one of the more productive fights, one that doesn't just end in "Justin you're grounded."  It actually had meaning...some deeper something, and afterwards I had a epiphany.  Call my hyperbolic (sorry we had that english quiz today) but an epiphany seems suitable for the situation.  Well I guess a mini epiphany is more fitting.

Every since Phillip's death, I've been praying to God and talking with Phillip a goodly number of times.  I've told him I loved him and I missed him terribly, but the one statement I always tell him is, "Phillip, I envy you so much."  He was lucky.  He ran his race for only twenty years while most people have around 60 or 70 more years to go.  Now he's in heaven, the place that everyone longs for.  I've always asked myself if there's something more to this world, more to life.  Is there something more to life than just school and work and getting up early?  The highs of life are only temporary; they don't last that long.  There's got to be something more.

As a christian, I always knew that one day I would be sharing Jesus with everyone, sharing my faith.  It's in my job description, and I knew it when I became a christian.  That is the way we honor and glorify God, by doing what He meant for us to do.  But even now, I don't see that there's a need of my "job" everyday.  So what do I do?  I just live my life.  With one catch though.  Live like Christ.  That's what I do, I should do it everyday, despite the way people are, despite my fear, despite my despair, despite my concerns.  AP's seems small now.  It should, because if I am to truly live like Christ, I would try my hardest in all I do.  But the seemingly impossible task is far from it, especially since I have God's help.

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.
John 16:33
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