::HUG:: I often suffer from feeling like I'm not good enough at what I love to do. It's definitely heartbreaking, but I don't think it's true for either of us.
As for feeling not as smart as other people, this country (and most others, as far as I know) place all sorts of weird emphasis on one specific kind of learning without paying any attention to the fact that that's not the best way for a lot of people to learn. I guess it sort of works for the majority of people, so they assume that anyone it doesn't work for must be inferior, when in truth it's just due to a stilted education theory. Not to mention that certain kinds of knowledge/advancement are prized over all others. Scientists are seen as being the smartest people around when they are so often deeply emotionally immature and socially inept. Why on earth are those things not seen as just as important?? I have no idea.
It probably doesn't help much to intellectualize it, but just know that the very fact that you ended this entry the way you did illustrates just how much more powerful you are than so many people in so many ways. How many people can examine, understand, and begin to work through this kind of emotional block at all, much less in the time you probably did it? Not many I'm guessing. I really look up to you and your knowledge and awareness of emotional and social matters, and the kind of passion with which you approach... pretty much everything. Don't let people get you down just because they don't understand how you learn stuff. They're the stupid ones in that case.
As for feeling not as smart as other people, this country (and most others, as far as I know) place all sorts of weird emphasis on one specific kind of learning without paying any attention to the fact that that's not the best way for a lot of people to learn. I guess it sort of works for the majority of people, so they assume that anyone it doesn't work for must be inferior, when in truth it's just due to a stilted education theory. Not to mention that certain kinds of knowledge/advancement are prized over all others. Scientists are seen as being the smartest people around when they are so often deeply emotionally immature and socially inept. Why on earth are those things not seen as just as important?? I have no idea.
It probably doesn't help much to intellectualize it, but just know that the very fact that you ended this entry the way you did illustrates just how much more powerful you are than so many people in so many ways. How many people can examine, understand, and begin to work through this kind of emotional block at all, much less in the time you probably did it? Not many I'm guessing. I really look up to you and your knowledge and awareness of emotional and social matters, and the kind of passion with which you approach... pretty much everything. Don't let people get you down just because they don't understand how you learn stuff. They're the stupid ones in that case.
::HUGS:: Miss you.
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