(no subject)
Currently it is night. Currently I am not running outside. Sweet air outside, silent and birds. The odd machine I ..am just doesn't feel like it. No matter. In such a case I know one ought to pull it tighter, just pull it tighter until it bleeding sounds a chord; until we have rope eating into flesh; simply, horribly: until it works. If it doesn't work - if I do not work - just push it till it does or breaks. But not tonight. No matter.
I was to write something but can't recall. Saw a gruesomely branded horse with a horribly scarred elaborate E pressed deep and long right into its cheek. I was on another occasion made think of how there exist professional massage parlors that people just march in and pay other people they do not know to take hold of them so they can relax. Nothing wrong with that. I was amused to in passing think of how I'd be, put in one of those places, to relax. It'd be like the red horse in that round pen. It would. This actually made me laugh. I do not think of K any longer. I feel like the nights, the ones I'm staying still, are all like some indistinguishably fucked up version of Mal vu mal dit. It is also beautiful.
Someone'd brought in Syringa branches in a large vase (I'm currently not in a mental hospital) (I've never been in a mental hospital) and they were all starting to droop downward though still emitted a strong scent, and there were all these insects crawling out of them, slowly, night-activated. It was beautiful.
Last night I was actually asleep but woke up at three-ish for no reason and the sun was shining, a pale pink sun like it is in the night, and there was a lone mosquito in the room. I fell asleep and dreamt of race cars and serial killers lame horror movie style but it wasn't a nightmare - I still haven't had a nightmare, not since I was eight - then woke up again and there was a lone wasp in the room, banging on the window. Delirious, laughing, unsure of my footing for the blood pressure drop, I opened the big window all the way up - the fucking sun shining, it was five a.m.! - and guided it out, an entity, mathematical, went back to sleep, to wake up in an hour to go to work.
http://svpow.wordpress.com/
I was to write something but can't recall. Saw a gruesomely branded horse with a horribly scarred elaborate E pressed deep and long right into its cheek. I was on another occasion made think of how there exist professional massage parlors that people just march in and pay other people they do not know to take hold of them so they can relax. Nothing wrong with that. I was amused to in passing think of how I'd be, put in one of those places, to relax. It'd be like the red horse in that round pen. It would. This actually made me laugh. I do not think of K any longer. I feel like the nights, the ones I'm staying still, are all like some indistinguishably fucked up version of Mal vu mal dit. It is also beautiful.
Someone'd brought in Syringa branches in a large vase (I'm currently not in a mental hospital) (I've never been in a mental hospital) and they were all starting to droop downward though still emitted a strong scent, and there were all these insects crawling out of them, slowly, night-activated. It was beautiful.
Last night I was actually asleep but woke up at three-ish for no reason and the sun was shining, a pale pink sun like it is in the night, and there was a lone mosquito in the room. I fell asleep and dreamt of race cars and serial killers lame horror movie style but it wasn't a nightmare - I still haven't had a nightmare, not since I was eight - then woke up again and there was a lone wasp in the room, banging on the window. Delirious, laughing, unsure of my footing for the blood pressure drop, I opened the big window all the way up - the fucking sun shining, it was five a.m.! - and guided it out, an entity, mathematical, went back to sleep, to wake up in an hour to go to work.
http://svpow.wordpress.com/