The case of the Missing DVD
I have a DVD. Well actually I have several hundred DVD's. Well not really but it makes for a better story. In any event I have an import DVD of an amazing Japanese horror film entitled Dark Water. Some of you may recognize the title of this film, because there is an American remake coming out with Jennifer Connolly. See the Japanese version if you can, it's quite fantastic. I saw it at the AFI film festival several years ago and watched the final 45 minutes through my fingers. I would let you all borrow my copy but, ah yes I am now getting to the point of this entry. I have yet to watch my copy of the DVD since purchasing it several months ago. Been waiting to watch with some people because I don't think I can see it by myself.
Have been trying to get Shotgun to watch it, but he keeps whimpering something about needing to see Guess Who and XXX:State of the Union first. I just think he is afraid that he will leap into my arms during the screening.
Anyhow the DVD has been sitting on my coffee table in my living room for weeks on end. Every day I sit down to watch Oprah....errr I mean Judge Judy and there it is staring up at me, frightening me, begging me to watch it. Sometimes I cover it with a newspaper when it begins to really creep me out. Such is the fright factor of this movie that I sometimes cannot stare at the box.
I have an Aussie friend at work. She is my oldest Spag friend, and my only Australian friend. I love Aussies (pronounced Auzzie by the way), great people, very down to earth, awesome sense of humor. In any event Jessica (that's her name) has been asking me to borrow Dark Water for several weeks now. I keep telling her I will bring it in to work to lend it to her, but I keep forgetting; until yesterday. Yesterday morning I remembered. I went to the living room over to the coffee table to pick up the DVD to toss into my bag to bring to work. Imagine my shock and surprise when I discovered that it was missing. I feverishly searched under the coffee table beneath the old Sports Illustrated Magazines and my Complete Works of Shakespeare, but to no avail. It was gone. I searched my backpack thinking that maybe earlier in the week I had remembered but then forgot that I had remembered.....Still nothing. The disc had vanished and I was a mite bit perturbed. Where could it have gone? Then I thought....Bad Meat. Bad Meat had slept at my apartment Thursday night. He is one of only two people that could have removed it from my apartment. He or my roomate, and my roomate had borrowed it already several evenings earlier, so I had excluded her from the list of suspects. It must be Bad Meat. Not like him to take a DVD without asking, but maybe he forgot. I text messaged Meat asking him about the disc, he was quite upset that I was accusing him of taking a DVD without asking, and I replied in turn that I was just checking all my bases, that I didn't really think he would steal it.
Back to the drawing board. I had eliminated one suspect. It had to be HER. So tonight upon returning from another depressing moneyless night slinging bad spaghetti topped with even worse tomato sauce, I confronted my soon to be EX Roomate.
"Hey Lindsay, did you happen to see "Dark Water" lying about anywhere? I, uh can't seem to locate it." She tried to look away and run into her room, but I reached out and spun her around holding her fast. "Where is my DVD you crazy bitch?"
She cringed and tried to look away. She bit her lip and began to tremble in the face of my fury. "I borrowed it, can I get it to you in a couple of days?"
"A couple of days!!?" I roared. "No absolutely not. I have a very nice Aussie friend that I promised it to."
She began to cry and stammers about how she left it at a friend's house and that she will try to get it for me tomorrow. She left my DVD at a friend's house after taking it from MY coffee table without asking me. Are you kidding me!!!???? If she doesn't have Dark Water back in its rightful spot on the coffee table by noon tomorrow there will be hell to pay. Now that I know she takes my DVD's without asking what else has she been borrowing this past year? My toothbrush? Well guess what? Tomorrow I get my revenge. I am out of laundry detergent, actually I lost the laundry detergent. Realized last night that I left it in the laundry room the last time I washed clothes. Tomorrow I borrow her detergent without telling her. That's right I said it.
Have been trying to get Shotgun to watch it, but he keeps whimpering something about needing to see Guess Who and XXX:State of the Union first. I just think he is afraid that he will leap into my arms during the screening.
Anyhow the DVD has been sitting on my coffee table in my living room for weeks on end. Every day I sit down to watch Oprah....errr I mean Judge Judy and there it is staring up at me, frightening me, begging me to watch it. Sometimes I cover it with a newspaper when it begins to really creep me out. Such is the fright factor of this movie that I sometimes cannot stare at the box.
I have an Aussie friend at work. She is my oldest Spag friend, and my only Australian friend. I love Aussies (pronounced Auzzie by the way), great people, very down to earth, awesome sense of humor. In any event Jessica (that's her name) has been asking me to borrow Dark Water for several weeks now. I keep telling her I will bring it in to work to lend it to her, but I keep forgetting; until yesterday. Yesterday morning I remembered. I went to the living room over to the coffee table to pick up the DVD to toss into my bag to bring to work. Imagine my shock and surprise when I discovered that it was missing. I feverishly searched under the coffee table beneath the old Sports Illustrated Magazines and my Complete Works of Shakespeare, but to no avail. It was gone. I searched my backpack thinking that maybe earlier in the week I had remembered but then forgot that I had remembered.....Still nothing. The disc had vanished and I was a mite bit perturbed. Where could it have gone? Then I thought....Bad Meat. Bad Meat had slept at my apartment Thursday night. He is one of only two people that could have removed it from my apartment. He or my roomate, and my roomate had borrowed it already several evenings earlier, so I had excluded her from the list of suspects. It must be Bad Meat. Not like him to take a DVD without asking, but maybe he forgot. I text messaged Meat asking him about the disc, he was quite upset that I was accusing him of taking a DVD without asking, and I replied in turn that I was just checking all my bases, that I didn't really think he would steal it.
Back to the drawing board. I had eliminated one suspect. It had to be HER. So tonight upon returning from another depressing moneyless night slinging bad spaghetti topped with even worse tomato sauce, I confronted my soon to be EX Roomate.
"Hey Lindsay, did you happen to see "Dark Water" lying about anywhere? I, uh can't seem to locate it." She tried to look away and run into her room, but I reached out and spun her around holding her fast. "Where is my DVD you crazy bitch?"
She cringed and tried to look away. She bit her lip and began to tremble in the face of my fury. "I borrowed it, can I get it to you in a couple of days?"
"A couple of days!!?" I roared. "No absolutely not. I have a very nice Aussie friend that I promised it to."
She began to cry and stammers about how she left it at a friend's house and that she will try to get it for me tomorrow. She left my DVD at a friend's house after taking it from MY coffee table without asking me. Are you kidding me!!!???? If she doesn't have Dark Water back in its rightful spot on the coffee table by noon tomorrow there will be hell to pay. Now that I know she takes my DVD's without asking what else has she been borrowing this past year? My toothbrush? Well guess what? Tomorrow I get my revenge. I am out of laundry detergent, actually I lost the laundry detergent. Realized last night that I left it in the laundry room the last time I washed clothes. Tomorrow I borrow her detergent without telling her. That's right I said it.