alcohol and emotions....dont mix
Sooooo im pretty much the biggest jackass on the face of this planet, ive lost contact with two people...and its really emotionally hurting me
First I lost Gary
why?
cause im to much of a chicken shit to act on my emotions...I really did like him, I was just to scared to do anything about it, and now I think its to late, he wont talk to me, or even acknowledge that we were somewhat together, but the one part that really pisses me off about it, was the fact that he basically lied to me about hooking up with people while we were talking...so yet again, i was played as the fool
Then I lost Andrew
why?
because of one drunken mistake...I knew i shouldn't have been drinking that night, and know that I look back on it i really regret it, but some of the things he said to me were sooooooo harsh especially coming from someone who was sober, you'd think that my message would have been meaner cause i was under the influence, but I didn't mean half the things I said. He really is a good person, with a good heart. I just think that some of his priority's are out of whack, and I can't blame him, but that message hurt soooooo bad, I just want him to respect me as a superior, and as a friend, but I think I fucked that up too (like everything else in my life)
I really just want the care-free, joyful, sled down your stairs on a mattress Jake back, but I dont know how to get rid of this arrogant, conceited, hard ass Jake...I feel like I put on this alter ego to protect myself from being hurt again, so i build up this tough guy guard so that my inner sensitive Jake doesn't get give away his heart again, only to get it back it pieces (and the duct tape is running low)
You know that saying when life gives you lemons make lemonade...well I feel like life gave me rotten lemons, and dirty water...
:/
First I lost Gary
why?
cause im to much of a chicken shit to act on my emotions...I really did like him, I was just to scared to do anything about it, and now I think its to late, he wont talk to me, or even acknowledge that we were somewhat together, but the one part that really pisses me off about it, was the fact that he basically lied to me about hooking up with people while we were talking...so yet again, i was played as the fool
Then I lost Andrew
why?
because of one drunken mistake...I knew i shouldn't have been drinking that night, and know that I look back on it i really regret it, but some of the things he said to me were sooooooo harsh especially coming from someone who was sober, you'd think that my message would have been meaner cause i was under the influence, but I didn't mean half the things I said. He really is a good person, with a good heart. I just think that some of his priority's are out of whack, and I can't blame him, but that message hurt soooooo bad, I just want him to respect me as a superior, and as a friend, but I think I fucked that up too (like everything else in my life)
I really just want the care-free, joyful, sled down your stairs on a mattress Jake back, but I dont know how to get rid of this arrogant, conceited, hard ass Jake...I feel like I put on this alter ego to protect myself from being hurt again, so i build up this tough guy guard so that my inner sensitive Jake doesn't get give away his heart again, only to get it back it pieces (and the duct tape is running low)
You know that saying when life gives you lemons make lemonade...well I feel like life gave me rotten lemons, and dirty water...
:/