(no subject)
It took me a while to realise that academia is, at its best, little more than purposeless cosmopolitanism, a mania for method employed to no constructive end. Then I realised that was wrong, too; it's just the sausage-factory universities, which are as ubiquitous as women's mushroom-top trousers, that are spoiling academia. I want out. I've never been through with anything more than I'm through with university; and believe me, I'm through with lots of things in my life. I will be happy when I never have to see another stuffy professor in a tweed jacket singing about the fucking whale in his mahogany-paneled library, or grade another essay penned by some rich, barely sentient loser with a trust fund who'd rather send me idiotic emails asking me out on dates than actually do his damn work, or worse, be bullied by the academics to pass said loser because he's a paying customer. Fuck academia.
Reading and studying on my own time, spending much of my time outdoors, learning about and engaging with the freaky people of the world, and sometimes pulling ridiculously dangerous stunts are the activities that are more apropos to my life. My biggest fear is that I'm going to lose 85% of my free time once I'm forced to grow up, and that's a thought I can't cope with. Science journals, quirky British novels, juggling, outdoor activities- everything will be replaced with a few hours of noncommittal television-viewing each night before I have to go to bed and do it all over again just so I could eat and live indoors. Well, perhaps that sort of soul-crushing descent into a hopeless, exhausted oblivion is a bit pessimistic, but it more or less encompasses all of my fears for my future.
Goddammit, I just want to keep reading and growing and learning and playing and traveling, and of course sticking frightening, dangerous objects down my esophagus. Bottom line: I really don't think I'm capable of adopting an ordinary lifestyle, and I'm terrified I'll be forced into a life of drudgery culminating with the inevitable recourse of booze and pills.
Reading and studying on my own time, spending much of my time outdoors, learning about and engaging with the freaky people of the world, and sometimes pulling ridiculously dangerous stunts are the activities that are more apropos to my life. My biggest fear is that I'm going to lose 85% of my free time once I'm forced to grow up, and that's a thought I can't cope with. Science journals, quirky British novels, juggling, outdoor activities- everything will be replaced with a few hours of noncommittal television-viewing each night before I have to go to bed and do it all over again just so I could eat and live indoors. Well, perhaps that sort of soul-crushing descent into a hopeless, exhausted oblivion is a bit pessimistic, but it more or less encompasses all of my fears for my future.
Goddammit, I just want to keep reading and growing and learning and playing and traveling, and of course sticking frightening, dangerous objects down my esophagus. Bottom line: I really don't think I'm capable of adopting an ordinary lifestyle, and I'm terrified I'll be forced into a life of drudgery culminating with the inevitable recourse of booze and pills.