[video] Operation: Startle the Heavily Armed!

[sailorlaughter]

[Shortly after the Bean Defenders have all set out, the video flickers on to a pink pony face leaning in close to the screen.]

Okay, everybody! Since all those super-brave people are going out to fight the monsters to protect everypony, I think we should do something nice for them too, don't you? We should totally throw them a super-special

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[theblackstaff]

[stares at the pink pony] Suppose it ain't wrong to show folks they're appreciated for going out to fight, but what's gift bags got to do with anything?

[sailorlaughter]

Gift bags just make everything even more specially special! They've just gotta have great goodies in them, like this! [Produces a noisemaker out of nowhere and blows on it.] Or this! [Tosses the noisemaker aside and holds up a Darth Vader Pez dispenser] Or this! Isn't it the best most terrific thing ever? [Oh god what] It'll show them just how totally grateful we are for all their hard work, and they'll always have something to remember it by, forever and ever!

[theblackstaff]

... [he's just going to stare at that terrifying cymbal monkey]

This is how you folks celebrate back home?

[sailorlaughter]

[The monkey is staring back.] Absolutely! There's no better way to celebrate something than with a ginormous party! Don't you have parties where you come from?

[theblackstaff]

Where I come from, folks ain't so loud with their celebratin'.

[sailorlaughter]

[Giggle] That's silly! All my parties have music and dancing and lots and lots of happy ponies laughing and having fun! Sometimes the balloons pop, too, especially when Pokey Pierce shows up, and that's really loud and kinda scary too, but mostly funny!

[theblackstaff]

[sigh] Folks can have fun quietly. Ain't hurtin' nobody to have fun with a good book.