Hmm...ST. Patty's Day Google
You are St Patricks Day Google
You may not have many friends but to those that you
do have, you mean the world to them! You are a
loyal and truthful friend and people respect
you for that. You are the world to a lot of
people and that should mean the world to you.
People love you for your honesty, but also for your
tactfulness - knowing when to shut up!
Which Google Are You?
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OK...so I'm sitting here in Computer class...and he's trying to "teach" us..its kinda funny cus we all know more bout computers than he does! LOL He's like I want you to open control panel...to do this...you have to...*flips through pages* and by the time he finds in we've all opened it already...but he doesn't realize so he's like click the "start" button...LOL AH! I love making fun of my sexist computer teacher! WOOT
Yea...so I'm bored...REAL bored...and confused...cus its like I like this guy right? but I LOVE a guy back home...like totally head over heels...I know I know how can u love him but like another guy...well...juss cus I love him doesn't mean he returns it...and I guess u can say I'm "on the rebound" or whatever...but when you have such strong feelings for someone...who said they had the same feelings...well lets just say one of us lied...and it wasn't me...like when I talked to him bout "us" he was like well I guess whatever happens happens...and if nething happens it won't be til summer...but I doubt nething will...then I was like hey! I kept my promise (he made me promise that I wasn't lying bout how I felt) and he was like what promise and I was like I love you...and he goes "yeah thanks" and signed off...yup...so much for hope in men! lol I mean I just want him to be happy...and if that means no alice for him...then hey...no alice for him! anywhos...but this other guy...I mean I don't LOVE him by any means...I mean maybe in like the friend kinda love way...but not like romantic love...I think its just lust! LOL but still...I've liked him for a while...more than a year that is...and I *sigh* *slaps herself in the head* He knows how I feel...I think...lol but its like I know he'd NEVER make a good bf...and he does a lot of bad stuff...but ya know its like one of those feelings you just can't shake...but hey...its all good I guess. The only thing that bugs me bout it is the fact that in 16 days *only 16days left!! Does a dance* I won't see him any more or be around him...ya know? I mean I'm leavin SBP and 300 miles is a LONG way! I just wish I had the nerve to talk to him bout it...but I guess I'm shy on the inside..no...just scared of him turning out to be like the other guys...but I dunno cus I already know he's like that! LOL Who knows?
OKay...so last night I had this dream...it was nothing special kinda random actually...but I just can't seem to stop thinking bout it..."congrats" *sigh* okay...in my dream Jenn was like crying bout Scott (I think he died or something he wasn't there) and Tyler Frost was trying to comfort her and I was standing there with this guy (one of my ex's) and we had our arms around each other...like I was scratching his back and he had is arm around my shoulders and then he just looked at me, smiled, and said "congrats" then class started so we all went to our seats and I woke up...I mean...theres NOTHING special about that...but I wanna know why he was saying congrats...and why was I dreaming about HIM?! He hates me!! LOL and why TYLER FROST was comforting Jenn...and not me...ya know...it was just really really odd!! Maybe my dreams like this will stop after leaving SBP...for like the past month I've had the WEIRDEST most MESSED UP dreams! I mean like people dying...and *giggles* other dreams bout certain ppl that I'll spare you the details...its just crazy!! All of them have involved a REALLY storng emotion...whether its grief...or happiness...or even a lil Lust! LOL I just dunno what to make of them all!
I think guys are just the main source of grief and stress in my life...cus as soon as I get happy cus of one...they let me down...gah! I don't see how people can do this all the time!! I mean like I feel like I'm chasing one guy who once said he loved me...being chased by another who is JUST a friend...and on the side lusting...hmm...I need a different word...flirting...yea thats more apporpriate....LOL after this other guy...I just need to STOP but its like if I ever take a second to actually think I know that I need to stop...and I get angry with myself...and upset...and its just a big mess. I mean its like a certain someone said to me yesterday "You're not thinking...you don't wanna do this I can tell" and I mean they were right...but Gah! I just wanna not hafta think for a minute ya know...and just do whatever I feel like doin that SECOND! I mean this person is considered by a lot of ppl to be a total Jerk...but they were being so nice to me...and so "un-jerk-like" its crazy...ya know its like I put myself in this position just to prove that all guys are jerks...and to just kinda forget about everything else goin on...and then he had to go and be all sweet and "moron"-ish (ok...OXYmoron...good guy) and I just wanted to break down and cry...I dunno why I've been so emotional lately...but I really did...I just wanted to burst out in tears. Guys are suppose to stay jerks...ALWAYS...not just when you think they aren't...but when you think they are too!! Now its gonna be IMPOSSIBLE to leave SBP...not only because of Jenn and a few other ppl...but because I know that there is a "non-jerk" guy...I mean I know he says he's a jerk...and he does "jerk things" but I think he really cares like deep down...but ya know...theres still 16days for him to prove me wrong! lol and I'm sure he'll find someway to! lol all guys do...they amaze me! *Off to break* Have a good day!