(no subject)
Human Nature
Characters to include: Hamilton, Eve
Fandom: Angel
Prompt: 20 - Colorless
Rating: PG-13
Words: 995
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short,
* * *
The change had not been instantaneous. There had been no flash of light, no sudden weakening as she signed the papers that Hamilton held out to her. As it turned out, the change would be far worse than that; it was a slow descent into a colorless world, more horrible than anything that Eve had imagined.
It began on the couch as she leaned against Lindsey and he leaned against her, both of them pretending that they’d just survived something together, both of them watching Lorne inelegantly wrestle the bullets out of Spike’s back as the vampire cursed and hissed.
The sensation was utterly unexpected, pricking in her fingers and at the tip of her nose. It spread slowly, crawling, making her bones ache, until her skin… her very skin gave a funny little shudder and she could put a name to this awful new feeling.
“I’m cold,” she whispered to Lindsey, terrified.
He patted her knee and rested his head on her shoulder, waiting for Angel to return.
It got worse when they returned to the apartment. Lindsey was in one of his moods, scowling at anything that crossed his line of vision and storming around the apartment like a caged animal. Weeks trapped in the holding dimension with his daily death and side order of torment didn’t dent the surface, but one ten-minute talk with Angel and Lindsey was undone. Eve stayed out of his way for as long as she could, noting the growing pain in her stomach with quiet alarm until it grew too much to ignore, grinding and aching like a demon inside her. When she began to feel dizzy, she interrupted Lindsey’s pacing.
“My stomach hurts,” she told him, fighting back tears. “Something’s wrong with me. I think I’m dying.”
“We’re all dying…”
“No, Lindsey. Now.”
That got his attention. At least until the demon in her stomach gave a rumbling growl. Lindsey’s look of alarm melted into a grin and he laughed at her. “You’re hungry, sweetheart. Humans have to eat, remember? Guess the food bill just went up around here.” He moved away and Eve reached out to catch his arm, not yet comforted, but he pulled out her grasp easily.
They both froze, looking at her hand. She’d played weak for him before, but this… this was real. He was stronger than her now.
“That’s new,” Lindsey murmured, turning and disappearing into the kitchen. Eve bit her lip fiercely and wondering if this sudden urge to cry was a human thing too.
She waited until he had fallen asleep before sneaking out of the apartment. Haunted by the new weakness of her body and the way her vision had faded to a point where she felt half blind, she hailed a cab rather than walking to Wolfram & Hart. The darkness was a scary place now that she wasn’t a part of it. Just another damsel in distress in a city filled with monsters.
Hamilton was waiting for her. He made a show of checking his watch as she walked across the lobby to him. “Seven hours of humanity,” he noted by way of greeting. “Feels like a lifetime, doesn’t it?”
Eve didn’t answer, feeling the cold gnawing at her. She hadn’t known to wear a coat.
Hamilton nodded, something just shy of real sympathy in his eyes, and gestured her into Angel’s office.
“They have to take me back,” she said, even before Hamilton had closed the doors behind them.
“You and I both know that it doesn’t work that way,” Hamilton told her. He walked past her to sit in Angel’s leather chair, leaning back and steepling his fingers. (Everyone was walking past her now, walking through her. Eve hadn’t realized how much humans were like ghosts.)
“I can’t do this,” she insisted. She refused to take the seat across from him, standing instead.
“What happened to ‘all you need is love’? I was interested in seeing how far that philosophy would take you.”
“It’s not enough. It’s not even…” Eve broke off, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. Her throat ached fiercely, another awful side effect of being human. She thought that Lindsey had loved her when she was strong and powerful. But that ‘when’ should have been a ‘because’, and she couldn’t quite believe how naïve she’d been.
“No, I didn’t imagine that it would be,” Hamilton mused. “It’s not your fault, of course. Just a flaw in your nature.”
“But not yours.”
Hamilton shook his head and smiled at her. “No. I’ve enough information about love to avoid your mistakes.”
Eve wrapped her hands around her elbows, hating the cold, hating the Partners for overlooking her flaw when they created her, hating Hamilton for smiling at her as she died in front of him as the minutes of her life slipped away. “You can’t help me,” she said. It was a statement, not a question. She had come to Hamilton hoping to find the only other being in the world who could understand her situation and instead…
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Hamilton said.
“You know I’d do anything...”
Hamilton got to his feet, cutting her off with a wave of his hand, walking back around the desk. “I'm not in a position to bargain with you, Eve. I don’t have that authority and you… well frankly, you don’t possess anything that would interest me even if I did.”
“What am I going to do?” she asked, her voice betraying her, slipping into a whisper. Hamilton gave her a brotherly pat on the shoulder, his hand going to the small of her back as he guided her firmly to the door.
“Go home to your lover,” he said. “Go live your mortal life.” He chuckled and Eve wanted to punch him, despite the knowledge that she’d break her hand in the attempt. “Perhaps you’ll find that it’s not so bad in time.”
He lied, of course. It never was.
* * *
Cut-text from T.S. Eliot’s ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’.
Characters to include: Hamilton, Eve
Fandom: Angel
Prompt: 20 - Colorless
Rating: PG-13
Words: 995
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short,
* * *
The change had not been instantaneous. There had been no flash of light, no sudden weakening as she signed the papers that Hamilton held out to her. As it turned out, the change would be far worse than that; it was a slow descent into a colorless world, more horrible than anything that Eve had imagined.
It began on the couch as she leaned against Lindsey and he leaned against her, both of them pretending that they’d just survived something together, both of them watching Lorne inelegantly wrestle the bullets out of Spike’s back as the vampire cursed and hissed.
The sensation was utterly unexpected, pricking in her fingers and at the tip of her nose. It spread slowly, crawling, making her bones ache, until her skin… her very skin gave a funny little shudder and she could put a name to this awful new feeling.
“I’m cold,” she whispered to Lindsey, terrified.
He patted her knee and rested his head on her shoulder, waiting for Angel to return.
It got worse when they returned to the apartment. Lindsey was in one of his moods, scowling at anything that crossed his line of vision and storming around the apartment like a caged animal. Weeks trapped in the holding dimension with his daily death and side order of torment didn’t dent the surface, but one ten-minute talk with Angel and Lindsey was undone. Eve stayed out of his way for as long as she could, noting the growing pain in her stomach with quiet alarm until it grew too much to ignore, grinding and aching like a demon inside her. When she began to feel dizzy, she interrupted Lindsey’s pacing.
“My stomach hurts,” she told him, fighting back tears. “Something’s wrong with me. I think I’m dying.”
“We’re all dying…”
“No, Lindsey. Now.”
That got his attention. At least until the demon in her stomach gave a rumbling growl. Lindsey’s look of alarm melted into a grin and he laughed at her. “You’re hungry, sweetheart. Humans have to eat, remember? Guess the food bill just went up around here.” He moved away and Eve reached out to catch his arm, not yet comforted, but he pulled out her grasp easily.
They both froze, looking at her hand. She’d played weak for him before, but this… this was real. He was stronger than her now.
“That’s new,” Lindsey murmured, turning and disappearing into the kitchen. Eve bit her lip fiercely and wondering if this sudden urge to cry was a human thing too.
She waited until he had fallen asleep before sneaking out of the apartment. Haunted by the new weakness of her body and the way her vision had faded to a point where she felt half blind, she hailed a cab rather than walking to Wolfram & Hart. The darkness was a scary place now that she wasn’t a part of it. Just another damsel in distress in a city filled with monsters.
Hamilton was waiting for her. He made a show of checking his watch as she walked across the lobby to him. “Seven hours of humanity,” he noted by way of greeting. “Feels like a lifetime, doesn’t it?”
Eve didn’t answer, feeling the cold gnawing at her. She hadn’t known to wear a coat.
Hamilton nodded, something just shy of real sympathy in his eyes, and gestured her into Angel’s office.
“They have to take me back,” she said, even before Hamilton had closed the doors behind them.
“You and I both know that it doesn’t work that way,” Hamilton told her. He walked past her to sit in Angel’s leather chair, leaning back and steepling his fingers. (Everyone was walking past her now, walking through her. Eve hadn’t realized how much humans were like ghosts.)
“I can’t do this,” she insisted. She refused to take the seat across from him, standing instead.
“What happened to ‘all you need is love’? I was interested in seeing how far that philosophy would take you.”
“It’s not enough. It’s not even…” Eve broke off, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. Her throat ached fiercely, another awful side effect of being human. She thought that Lindsey had loved her when she was strong and powerful. But that ‘when’ should have been a ‘because’, and she couldn’t quite believe how naïve she’d been.
“No, I didn’t imagine that it would be,” Hamilton mused. “It’s not your fault, of course. Just a flaw in your nature.”
“But not yours.”
Hamilton shook his head and smiled at her. “No. I’ve enough information about love to avoid your mistakes.”
Eve wrapped her hands around her elbows, hating the cold, hating the Partners for overlooking her flaw when they created her, hating Hamilton for smiling at her as she died in front of him as the minutes of her life slipped away. “You can’t help me,” she said. It was a statement, not a question. She had come to Hamilton hoping to find the only other being in the world who could understand her situation and instead…
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Hamilton said.
“You know I’d do anything...”
Hamilton got to his feet, cutting her off with a wave of his hand, walking back around the desk. “I'm not in a position to bargain with you, Eve. I don’t have that authority and you… well frankly, you don’t possess anything that would interest me even if I did.”
“What am I going to do?” she asked, her voice betraying her, slipping into a whisper. Hamilton gave her a brotherly pat on the shoulder, his hand going to the small of her back as he guided her firmly to the door.
“Go home to your lover,” he said. “Go live your mortal life.” He chuckled and Eve wanted to punch him, despite the knowledge that she’d break her hand in the attempt. “Perhaps you’ll find that it’s not so bad in time.”
He lied, of course. It never was.
* * *
Cut-text from T.S. Eliot’s ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’.