Todays theme....The Evil of Alcohol.
Well I have already spectacularly failed at keeping my blog secret until the 5 post minimum. My ego has insisted on me telling anyone who would listen that I have started one. Hell I even announced it through my MSN username. Good god I suck.
I need to stop binge drinking. Now this isn't for the obvious health/mental benefits, but rather for the sake of my dignity. There was a time I would go out drinking, and embaress myself. This was fine. I would wake up in the morning, feel suitably bad, and this feeling would have faded by the following Monday. It all balanced out. Global karma was balanced and everyone was happy.
But it would seem old age and a general trend to drink 3x the amount I can handle has changed this time honoured code. I now wake up on the Saturday morning with NO memory of the night before after, lets say midnight. Its not like there are gaps in my memory, I just simply am unaware of the existence of events that have occurred. This causes what I call the 'Monday morning memory blues".
For example, as I mentioned before, Friday night I went out. And the worse I remember is talking shit. Not the worst crime in drunken history. But cue the Monday conversation with Nik that went something like this :
Nik: "Hahaha, man you were so wasted on Friday. Ah, good times tho."
Olly: "Yup, yup. Nothing like a good night out when nothing bad happens."
Nik: "Eh? Don't you remember the messages we left on your ex girlfriends answer phone? You know, really embarrassing begging messages? I left a few, you left a few. Hahahahah".
Olly: "Cunt"
Nik: "Hahah, and there was the cold chips with ash on them you were stealing from the people sitting in front of us...hahaha"
Olly: "Shut it now..."
Nik: "And I bet you don't remember you phone that female friend of yours and talking shit for 10 minutes at her....hahahah"
Olly: "Ah christ I want to die..."
Nik: "And who can forget the best, don't you remember walking on the way home and stopping every woman with blonde hair, stepping in front of her so she couldn't get pasted and mumerring 'Why hello Blonde Lady"??"
Olly: "I want to die, I want to die, I want to die".
Now this means I have to deal with Fridays guilt today. Which has screwed the karma system, as I had too much fun on Saturday when I really should have been mooching around feeling like a twat. So to balance it out, the universe is going to smite me with an STD or something. Thats usually what happens.
Of course many a person would say there is a lesson to be learnt there, but I say bollocks to them. I'm off to the pub tonight to watch the second leg of the First Division play offs. In case anyone reading this is a Palace fan, YOU GONNA GET WHOOPED!
Hmm, I have to start planning my Birthday celebrations. I intend to try and get as many people out and twatted out of the heads as possible. It somehow feels the right way to celebrate my entry into the universe, sending half my friends to hospital with alcohol poisoning.
I am currently so bored of manually colouring in individual pixels. I should have become a fire engine driver. I mean, I bet they get all the women, but without the actual danger of ignoring every one of your survival instincts and running into a burning building. And they get a big shiny truck to drive around. With a siren!
Just got an email from one of my hot or not matches. Not too bad, but her email made me chuckle. Anyone who can end their first correspondence with someone they have never met with "(my name is Kerri)...shhh! dont tell the cyber people!!!" can only be worth some of my time. Although a little overuse of the exclamation marks.
Well I'm going to go as it is now hometime (Yes I spent the last 20 minutes of my working day updating my Blog. What of it?). I'm sure I'll post another tonight with the joy/depression of knowing the football results.