This post is in my own defense
So Neil was on Ellen today. And of course he did magic.
*sigh*
Ok, here's my thing. I know magic is all illusion. But for some reason, I can't stand to watch it. I don't know why. I can't do Sports, Game Shows, or Magic. All three things involve the unknown factor of I don't know what the result is going to be. In the first two, I hate to watch someone lose, especially because it might be someone cool. Magic is different. Magic is hard to do. I couldn't do it. There's always the chance someone will mess up. It has happened. I am terrified of watching something for fear it might go wrong. I don't want to see someone fail.
I didn't used to be this way. I didn't use to get panic attacks. Well, at least, not over the trivial stuff. However, since I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I've been...well... twitchy. When I was first taken off the Ritalin, I couldn't watch anything or play any games or do anything. I was terrified. I slowly got over most of the fear but a few things remained.
1. Competitions bug me.
2. Magic on a one take show frightens me
3. I'm a horrible driver
4. I need to read spoilers before I watch something I'm really invested in. Literary blows to the gut hurt less.
Well, the third one isn't really a fear, but it's something that has changed since I was on Rit.
Also, if I have high hopes for something, It is hard to watch as well. I'm always afraid it will not fufill my expectations. This is called the "To Awesome 4 U" syndrome. For this reason, I still haven't watched the SNL yet. Also why I haven't listened to Commentary! and why I had to be forced to watch Sesame Street and the Confrontation w/ Jason Segal.
Someday I will get over these fears. Not today, but someday.
*sigh*
Ok, here's my thing. I know magic is all illusion. But for some reason, I can't stand to watch it. I don't know why. I can't do Sports, Game Shows, or Magic. All three things involve the unknown factor of I don't know what the result is going to be. In the first two, I hate to watch someone lose, especially because it might be someone cool. Magic is different. Magic is hard to do. I couldn't do it. There's always the chance someone will mess up. It has happened. I am terrified of watching something for fear it might go wrong. I don't want to see someone fail.
I didn't used to be this way. I didn't use to get panic attacks. Well, at least, not over the trivial stuff. However, since I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I've been...well... twitchy. When I was first taken off the Ritalin, I couldn't watch anything or play any games or do anything. I was terrified. I slowly got over most of the fear but a few things remained.
1. Competitions bug me.
2. Magic on a one take show frightens me
3. I'm a horrible driver
4. I need to read spoilers before I watch something I'm really invested in. Literary blows to the gut hurt less.
Well, the third one isn't really a fear, but it's something that has changed since I was on Rit.
Also, if I have high hopes for something, It is hard to watch as well. I'm always afraid it will not fufill my expectations. This is called the "To Awesome 4 U" syndrome. For this reason, I still haven't watched the SNL yet. Also why I haven't listened to Commentary! and why I had to be forced to watch Sesame Street and the Confrontation w/ Jason Segal.
Someday I will get over these fears. Not today, but someday.