Contestants for 100
So we're finally hitting the big number, how exciting. I made a vow that the intro to the triple digits would be a joyful day, and that I wouldn't waste the number on anything that doesn't have potential of at least being a 4 if not a 5 (of course, potential means nothing these days when it comes down to sex, everyone thinks that their move is the best, when really, no one's moves are better than mine!). On top of ALL that, I have to somehow get the douche bag to tell me he loves me within 48 hrs, one of the next seven tricks I have at least, or I'm stuck throwing a dalmation themed party for every one of my tricks, and with my luck, they'd show up. So, back on subject, we're down to 3 contestants, and the races have begun.
Contestant 1: Chad, the goth guy. No, this is not Chad from karaoke Thursday, this is Chad from karaoke Tuesday. He's a skinhead, he's 37, but he can pull off eye makeup and has this deep raspy 80s rocker voice that I just love. That's just when he's talking though. He can't sing worth shit. He's in real good shape, and the fact that he's hot AND 37 means that it'll be a good old time, he's probably been on stage enough times to know the routine. Dangers? Well, he looks like the guy that would get depressed and emo really fast if I broke his heart. I can just picture him singing 'every rose has its thorn' some tuesday while holding a gin and tonic. He also seems like the guy I could fall for really fast, as rare as that happens. We had a little moment on Tuesday when I was singing Stray Cats, leaned into him very sluttily and leaned my nose against his, it was kinda hot. He gave me this smile like he wanted to play along and kiss me, but couldnt because his fag hag was directly in front of us.
Contestant 2: Jared. Don't know anything about Jared. He's friend's with Ryan. Ryan was in a porno I directed freshman year. Jared is 20, he's very politically involved. He's a democrat. He's kinda hot, and he's Jewish. I've never in my life seen a dick that's been snipped by a Rabbi. Do they look the same? I don't know, but I want to see one. Not just any one. THAT one.
Contestant 3: Don. Don Rowell and I have been chatting online for about 4 months now. He's a bum. Not all that good looking, about 37. But, he kinda likes me. And he has a tongue ring with a battery operated vibrating sensor on it. Thats.......good enough for me.
Which would you guys choose?
Contestant 1: Chad, the goth guy. No, this is not Chad from karaoke Thursday, this is Chad from karaoke Tuesday. He's a skinhead, he's 37, but he can pull off eye makeup and has this deep raspy 80s rocker voice that I just love. That's just when he's talking though. He can't sing worth shit. He's in real good shape, and the fact that he's hot AND 37 means that it'll be a good old time, he's probably been on stage enough times to know the routine. Dangers? Well, he looks like the guy that would get depressed and emo really fast if I broke his heart. I can just picture him singing 'every rose has its thorn' some tuesday while holding a gin and tonic. He also seems like the guy I could fall for really fast, as rare as that happens. We had a little moment on Tuesday when I was singing Stray Cats, leaned into him very sluttily and leaned my nose against his, it was kinda hot. He gave me this smile like he wanted to play along and kiss me, but couldnt because his fag hag was directly in front of us.
Contestant 2: Jared. Don't know anything about Jared. He's friend's with Ryan. Ryan was in a porno I directed freshman year. Jared is 20, he's very politically involved. He's a democrat. He's kinda hot, and he's Jewish. I've never in my life seen a dick that's been snipped by a Rabbi. Do they look the same? I don't know, but I want to see one. Not just any one. THAT one.
Contestant 3: Don. Don Rowell and I have been chatting online for about 4 months now. He's a bum. Not all that good looking, about 37. But, he kinda likes me. And he has a tongue ring with a battery operated vibrating sensor on it. Thats.......good enough for me.
Which would you guys choose?