App test~
So I am working on Ayah's app, and I'd like some feedback. Right now it's just the personality section, but I probably will post the other parts of it as I do them. I get the feeling something's off, but can't put my finger on it. So here's Ayah's app so far~ Any feedback you could give me, I'd appreciate greatly!
Name : Ayah (male Fearow)
Game/Series: Pokemon
Canon Point: HGSS (Johto)
Age & Grade Level: Around 15 in human years, Freshman
Personality: So, Ayah in a nutshell: Tsundere and a jerkass.
Alright not totally, but that's the persona he seems to give off, at least at first. In fact, he seems very much like one might expect a Fearow to act: Prideful, standoffish, and fairly grumpy. He thinks he's better, faster, stronger, than most anyone else -and it's not entirely unwarranted-, and so will push himself to make sure he is. He trusts few off the bat, and when he isn't around Lyra for long periods, he becomes nervous and therefore more likely to be agitated easily.
So yeah, he seems like a jerk.
And he is perfectly happy with people seeing him as such.
He's not a complete jerk, though. Even if he is one of the grumpiest birds one might meet, he is a genuinely good kid. While he may be prideful in part due to his Pokemon self, he is smart enough not to brag overly much, and will generally submit to Lyra's wishes...as long as their not too stupid. When he first was captured by her, he was the typical hacked-off Spearow, and had to quickly learn that he really couldn't afford to keep getting overly angered by her...rather silly antics. So he's a bit calmer than a normal Fearow, but some of that nature will come out when Lyra is in trouble or picked on or sometimes generally bothered. And while he may quarrel a little with her, he cares for her quite deeply. In fact, a bit why he get nervous and agitated is when she does silly things. Her constant...for lack of a more appropriate term, 'derpiness' when it comes to situations can definitely set him on edge. After all, this is a girl that rushes headlong into things without thinking them through completely. Like bases for large dangerous criminal organizations. So he's really set in his mind that his job is to keep her from accidentally getting herself killed over her own brash nature. And he will remind her of this as he does his best to drag her from such things. So yeah, he genuinely cares for her and loves her a great deal, but he...has a very odd way of showing it.
~~~~
Yeah, I figure it needs something, but what?
Thanks SBG!
Name : Ayah (male Fearow)
Game/Series: Pokemon
Canon Point: HGSS (Johto)
Age & Grade Level: Around 15 in human years, Freshman
Personality: So, Ayah in a nutshell: Tsundere and a jerkass.
Alright not totally, but that's the persona he seems to give off, at least at first. In fact, he seems very much like one might expect a Fearow to act: Prideful, standoffish, and fairly grumpy. He thinks he's better, faster, stronger, than most anyone else -and it's not entirely unwarranted-, and so will push himself to make sure he is. He trusts few off the bat, and when he isn't around Lyra for long periods, he becomes nervous and therefore more likely to be agitated easily.
So yeah, he seems like a jerk.
And he is perfectly happy with people seeing him as such.
He's not a complete jerk, though. Even if he is one of the grumpiest birds one might meet, he is a genuinely good kid. While he may be prideful in part due to his Pokemon self, he is smart enough not to brag overly much, and will generally submit to Lyra's wishes...as long as their not too stupid. When he first was captured by her, he was the typical hacked-off Spearow, and had to quickly learn that he really couldn't afford to keep getting overly angered by her...rather silly antics. So he's a bit calmer than a normal Fearow, but some of that nature will come out when Lyra is in trouble or picked on or sometimes generally bothered. And while he may quarrel a little with her, he cares for her quite deeply. In fact, a bit why he get nervous and agitated is when she does silly things. Her constant...for lack of a more appropriate term, 'derpiness' when it comes to situations can definitely set him on edge. After all, this is a girl that rushes headlong into things without thinking them through completely. Like bases for large dangerous criminal organizations. So he's really set in his mind that his job is to keep her from accidentally getting herself killed over her own brash nature. And he will remind her of this as he does his best to drag her from such things. So yeah, he genuinely cares for her and loves her a great deal, but he...has a very odd way of showing it.
~~~~
Yeah, I figure it needs something, but what?
Thanks SBG!