(Untitled)

[not_ridley]

[So... Guys (and girls). There's a guy wandering around campus and basically just... Checking out the wildlife? Yes. He's studying the wildlife, the plants, the humans, the baby Metroids -- you name it, he has probably looked at it and made a "yep, needs some Phazon" note in his head

Comments

[icequeen_aran]

[Something COMPELS THIS WOMAN TO APPROACH as he looks lost and vulnerable.]

[not_ridley]

[SAMUS.

C'MON RIDLEY JUST ONE GOOD WHACK AND SHE'S DONE HECK JUST SPIT FIRE AT HER HEAD-- N-NO. NO, WAIT. Something about "not wanting to blow his cover." Instead he stares a little. He was birdwatching but now he just wants to CRUSH THEM ALL.]

Is there a problem?

[icequeen_aran]

[She returns the stare. BURNING PENETRATING ICE QUEEN STARE.] Are you lost?

[not_ridley]

[HGHGHDKJHGDFGHGGGGGGG HE WANTS TO REACH OUT AND SNAP HER NECK SO BAD.]

Nah. I think I found who the place I'm looking for.

[icequeen_aran]

And you are? [QUESTIONS QUESTIONS]

[not_ridley]

[...

... ...

RIDLEY DID YOU FORGET TO FIGURE OUT A NAME!? STUPID. STUPID WHERE'S KRAID HE HAD A GOOD ONE DIDN'T HE... ALL RIGHT DON'T CRUSH HER AND RUN DON'T CRUSH HER AND RUN...]

... Bailey. Justin Bailey.

[icequeen_aran]

...............[stare.]

Justin. Bailey.

[STARE. SHE STARES SO HARD.]

Justin Bailey, my old computer password lower classmate of the Galactic Federation Academy, circa 2073 who got booted and dishonorably discharged for uploading inter-specie porn on every computer that year?

[not_ridley]

[Kraid you sonuvabiiiiitch BACKGROUND CHECKS COME BEFORE IDENTITY THEFT

But he's wearing his best innocent face. Never mind the steam pouring out of his ears.]

The Galacta-what? [NICE SAVE. HUMANS ARE PRETTY DUMB, RIGHT? JUST RUN WITH IT.] I think you're mistaking me for somebody else.

[icequeen_aran]

[She wrinkles her nose. It is, while UNLIKELY, entirely probable that there is another Justin Bailey out there in the universe that she would out of all the other people in the universe eventually meet. One unrelated.]

And what are you doing here? [That is a horrible innocent face.] Justin Bailey.

[not_ridley]

[Uh no it is completely likely. Because he is right there. Definitely not gonna throw rocks at tiny woodland creatures when she isn't lookinghklsdjft GONNA KILL HIM THAT HUNTER.

I mean yes of course there are other Justin Baileys out there. Although I cannot vouch for the space porn.]

I saw an ad in the Space Pirates Weekly paper. This school needs a Phazonology biology teacher, am I right?

[icequeen_aran]

[Space porn can never be vouched for. MOTHER BRAIN CENTERFOLD]

Yes. I... [DOUBLE TAKE]

...Did you just throw a rock at that squirrel?

[not_ridley]

[WHOOPS. Uh... GOOD THING IT MISSED, HUH?]

What? [He's totally looking at that squirrel now like he has no idea what Samus is talking about. Possibly wondering if he could clone squirrels to do his bidding and/or if Phazon would make them look cooler.]