Yeah.
I woke up like an hour ago. It's really hot outside. I don't think I'll leave my bedroom all day. There's a window air conditioner and a bed here. What's out there? Nothing but 100 degrees of hateful sunshine.
Anyways, after three days of alcohol-fueled stupidity, I've learned some stuff. I will share my newly found wisdom. BECAUSE I'M A GIVER, goddammit.
While imbibing...
Oh yeah... some statements for some of you:
tehfudgie: "External Female Genitalia" and "Vulva" both refer TO THE SAME THING. We may need to have a sex-ed discussion.
randomneses (and really, ANYONE ELSE WHO MAKES ONE OF THOSE "WHY ARE WE FRIENDS" POST): I won't comment on that entry. IF ANYONE READING THIS DOESN'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHY WE'RE FRIENDS THEN CUT ME. Um. I meant from your flist. Not, like, literally. I doubt that I'd be effective in a knife fight. There'd probably be a lot of screaming and useless running around.
andburn1: FUCK YOU I POUT A LOT. That's how I work. And oh yeah. I STAND BY PREVIOUSLY MADE STATEMENTS.
heron_advocate: Um. I love you. It now looks like your brother and me aren't going to happen. But that's okay. Because it would just have been really awkward for you and me to try to cover up our affair during thanksgiving dinners and the like.
Anyways, after three days of alcohol-fueled stupidity, I've learned some stuff. I will share my newly found wisdom. BECAUSE I'M A GIVER, goddammit.
While imbibing...
- Do not atttempt cartwheels. In public, generally; in the parking lots of bars, specifically.
- Stay away from darts.
- Avoid places where hot, half-naked and wet 17 year old boys are.
- Keep statements like "I haven't had sex for almost two months!" to yourself, unless you want to solicit some unsavory offers to remedy your situation.
- Don't fool yourself into thinking that when a group of men that you just met talk you into pounding a bunch of kamikaze shots that it's in some way FLATTERING to you.
- Remember to buckle your belt after using the bathroom, because just leaving it open and flapping around sends a strange message.
- Do not be suckered into a "who can dance the better robot" contest. You only THINK your friends are laughing at WITH you.
Oh yeah... some statements for some of you:
tehfudgie: "External Female Genitalia" and "Vulva" both refer TO THE SAME THING. We may need to have a sex-ed discussion.
randomneses (and really, ANYONE ELSE WHO MAKES ONE OF THOSE "WHY ARE WE FRIENDS" POST): I won't comment on that entry. IF ANYONE READING THIS DOESN'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHY WE'RE FRIENDS THEN CUT ME. Um. I meant from your flist. Not, like, literally. I doubt that I'd be effective in a knife fight. There'd probably be a lot of screaming and useless running around.
andburn1: FUCK YOU I POUT A LOT. That's how I work. And oh yeah. I STAND BY PREVIOUSLY MADE STATEMENTS.
heron_advocate: Um. I love you. It now looks like your brother and me aren't going to happen. But that's okay. Because it would just have been really awkward for you and me to try to cover up our affair during thanksgiving dinners and the like.