Fic: Now I'm Ready to Start [Gen - Ensemble, hints of pre Clint/Natasha/Steve] 1/2
This is the prompt: So when Clint and Natasha come back from missions or being in the field, be it with the Avengers or SHIELD, they need to transition from the mindset of being out in the field to that of being safe/home/whatever. Generally this goes a lot more smoothely if there's someone they trust there to give them gentle orders/guidelines/directions like 'eat dinner, get some sleep,' whatever, for anywhere between a few hours to a few days, depending on how long/intense the mission was...
Let me know if you come across any glaring errors, or terrible writing, or another fucking use of the word "though" (seriously). Any concrit is welcome. Chances are you'll be able to see where I transition from having reread the intro 5,000 times to my last few bits of 'just finish, oh god, so close, just finish'. Sorry and I love you?
Title from the song Ready to Start by Arcade Fire (with highly contested lyrics!)
Now I'm Ready to Start
It was Pepper who told Tony, pointed out that Natasha wasn’t acting at all like any of the versions they’d experienced yet.
“She’s blank, Tony.” She was starting right in the middle of the argument they had already fought twice now in three days.
“She’s a professional spy and assassin, Pep. She puts on and takes off personas like you do suits.” She leveled a look at him for that, because of the two he was the fashionista. “She never was really Natalie the PA. You can’t expect that from her.”
“Yes, I know this Tony. I kept in touch with her after-“
“I still haven’t forgiven her for stabbing me in the neck, saving the world aside, and I’m hurt that you’ve gone behind my back-“
“Tony!” Frustrated Pepper, in this way, was no good for him. “I’m not pretending I know her well but I know her enough that this feels wrong. She and Clint both came along when everyone else moved in but they’re…I don’t think they’ve even moved belongings in.”
Bruce hadn’t meant to be listening to their argument, but they were right outside his lab. Rather than wait until they realized, saying something in front of him that they’d really regret in the meantime, he finally gave up his subtle signals and just shouted out to them.
“Hey, guys! Were you headed this direction for a reason?” They cut-off, seeing him at his door and stepping out. Pepper was apologetic for the both of them, but Tony stole the chance to consult.
“Bruce. Spy versus Spy. Pep’s not only worried something is wiggy with them but that ‘as their teammate, I have a moral obligation to check on them’. Thoughts?”
He’d already figured out that part from their discussion, but - “Wiggy?”
“Yeah, wiggy. Little bit off. Don’t know Legolas well enough to know about the drifting aimlessly through rooms, but he could be doing special agent memorizing exits ninja shit. Widow sort of specializes in being unsettling. Sides, bit of a rough time for all of us recently. I want time, stands to reason they could too. I say leave well enough alone unless they give a signal. What’s your vote?”
Bruce and Pepper gave nearly identical sighs in unison, Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose in addition. Tony just narrowed his eyes at the both of them.
“Yeah, rough is a word you could use. Think it was different for them than us. I have some firsthand knowledge of acting outside your control, in Agent Barton’s case. Could be some PTSD. If we’re voting though? I say we talk to Steve.”
Tony groaned, but followed Bruce and Pepper from the room.
*
They’d all sort of gone along with Steve as Captain of the team, even if they weren’t otherwise military, because he had experience and Phil had put his weight behind it. They had honored a dying man’s wishes and when it turned out Fury had taken some creative licensing it seemed rude to be taker-backers just because he wasn’t dead.
Still, Steve kept proving himself in little ways each day. With half the team concerned, he listened to Tony argue in favor of leaving well enough alone, Bruce cautiously say there were probably some issues but take that with a grain of salt and Pepper argue passionately that something was very, very wrong. Then he did the sensible, professional leader action of using the tools at hand to gather more intel.
“JARVIS, can you give me information on Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff’s sleep and sustenance patterns?” Steve had taken about thirty seconds to adjust to JARVIS before ruthlessly exploiting him as a capable ally and source of information. When Tony asked him why it hadn’t shocked his delicate forties sensibilities, Steve had leveled a considering stare at him before saying, “I was a science experiment, Tony. Your dad made me a shield pretty much out of science fiction. Two days ago I was on a flying boat, met a god of legend and killed an alien race. Your super computer is useful, polite and I’m a quick study.”
JARVIS liked him immediately.
“Of course, sir. Agent Romanoff has been sleeping sporadically, approximately two hours for every thirty-six. She eats a protein bar and fruit leather every six hours like clockwork, which consistently works around her sleep schedule and is hydrating regularly. Miss Potts was correct, rations and weapons are the only things in her quarters.”
Pepper was a little pale at this, but she’d gone through worse weirdness with Tony and was visibly bucking herself up. The guys went with shorthand significant looks over her head.
“Agent Barton is following the same eating and hydrating pattern. He sleeps longer and more frequently, but the quality is lesser. He often wakes several times during his four hour stretches. His quarters are similar, except he only enters them to use the supplies.”
“Well then, where is he sleeping if he isn’t using the room?” So, okay, that was a little worrying. Tony had memorized the files Coulson left with him back before this all started and this didn’t fit with the vibe on either SHIELD agent’s records.
“Never the same place twice. Nowhere with windows or multiple entrances. He removes a ceiling tile and puts a climb rope in place first. I have kept staff away from his staked area each time.”
Bruce’s quiet,” Oh, good,” was perhaps more sarcastic than the occasion called for but Tony’s, “You didn’t think to mention that before now?” was equally unhelpful.
“It takes three days to establish a behavioral pattern and their SHIELD records indicated they have mandatory three days downtime after long or particularly difficult missions. It is likely this is normal behavior given that information.” JARVIS wasn’t well pleased with Tony calling him out.
Still, that was reassuring. Pepper was nodding her head, color more normal. So, Tony had been right, just a rough time for them, needed time to reach equilibrium. They were on the third day already. Maybe tomorrow she would see if Natasha wanted to get pedicures. She had rescheduled a week’s worth of meetings because it had almost been the end of the world and she’d almost lost Tony. Again.
Bruce was nodding, too, but thoughtful. There wasn’t any evidence that they had been worse and were now on the way towards better. Both agents seemed blank when passing him, not ignoring him so much as just performing the motions of acknowledgement. Still, one more day couldn’t hurt either way. Which he said.
“Keep your eyes open, then. I’ll check with Thor. Fury’s timetable on Thor returning Loki to Asgard is loosely in four more days. SHIELD is documenting whatever data they can get on the man first. I’d like to have the whole team present and functioning at that.” With that, Steve dismissed them. It took Tony a minute to realize that’s what it was. Pepper listened to him complain the entire elevator ride to their suite. At least he didn’t say ‘I told you so’.
*
Day four was a turning point that, retrospectively, everyone wished hadn’t been necessary. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and it wasn’t until Steve was passing Clint in a hallway rather than a room that several details came together for him. It wasn’t that Clint smelled particularly bad, just…noticeable. Steve nodded back as they passed, then turned to watch as Clint walked away. That’s when he noticed something that should have been glaringly obvious. There were tiny slashes in the back of Clint’s uniform, from where glass had been embedded, and Steve hadn’t seen either of them out of uniform since arriving at Stark Tower. He just hadn’t realized it was the same uniform.
“JARVIS.” His voice was soft, but he knew the AI could hear him.
“Yes, sir?”
“Analyze Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff’s movement since arrival. Report any patterns. Oh, and ask the other guys to meet me in the private dining room.”
“Of course, sir. And Miss Potts?”
“No, let’s wait to update her. She hasn’t spent much time in her office and I know her work is detailed and very involved.” He was already going over everything from the attack to present from his own memory. They both had seemed quiet at schwarma, but ate the plate put in from of them. Everyone had been given a quick look over by SHIELD’s field medic, that’s when the glass had been removed from Clint’s back then everyone was given the all-clear. Everyone went through decontamination, just in case. His suite hadn’t had alien guts on it afterwards, but it’d been torn up fairly well and he’d peeled out of it first chance he’d gotten.
Agent Hill had come to the tower to debrief them. First individually and then together to compare notes and impressions. They’d been concise, detailed and thorough. Thinking on it now, retrospectively, he wasn’t sure he’d actually heard either speak since.
Thor arrived first, followed by Tony and Bruce coming in together from the lab. It seemed weird to be having this conversation in an unused dining room on a fancier than necessary heavy oak table, but Steve wanted the table for his notes. JARVIS was swell, but the act of pen to paper was just soothing enough that he thought he could get through this.
No one bothered to ask what was up. They didn’t have anything else on the horizon. Steve, never one to shirk his duty, dove right in.
“They’re still wearing the same uniforms from the invasion.” It seemed a little dramatic put that way and if it wasn’t coupled with everything else, Tony would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he whispered, “Oh, shit.” Yeah, he understood that was pretty far into ‘not normal’ territory.
Even Thor was in civilian clothes. His frown was thoughtful and neither Bruce nor Tony had been with Steve for their discussion. It was with some surprise that they were caught up.
“I was thinking on what we discussed yesterday, Captain, and while it seems unnecessary to confirm it now, Hawkeye’s behavior as of late does not seem in keeping with my previous meeting.”
Tony asked, but Bruce was the one tilting his head in question. “You’ve met before?”
“Aye, in New Mexico last year. It was very brief, but he was one of the agents with Son of Coul.” Tony finally let himself roll his eyes, because he was fairly sure Thor was doing that on purpose. He let him continue, though, nothing short of a miracle. “We did not make formal acquaintance, but he made several jests in my presence.”
“Jests?” This was from Steve accompanied by an impressive frown.
“Yes. It seems he approved of my fighting style and thought several of his fellow agents should rethink active field duty.”
“So, Barton has a sense of humor in there somewhere. Noted. Since two of Earth’s deadliest agents appear to be off the deep end, what do we do about it?” Tony was ready for the take action part. If emotional nuance wasn’t a major portion of this, he might have just shoved off and tried a few ideas on his own. How hard would it be to get them drunk, Russian bedamned, with his experience?
Steve was saved answering whatever thoughts went along with his narrowed gaze, something half formed about mental health being no joking matter, by JARVIS.
“Captain Rogers, I have compiled the information you requested. Shall I bring up visuals?”
“Yes,” Tony and Steve spoke in unison, sharing glares in time as well. Bruce and Thor wisely stayed out of it.
There were seven floors dedicated to the Avengers, not including Pepper and Tony’s suite which was emphatically off limits. That didn’t appear to matter to either agent, who had both been through that floor in it’s entirety. Tony would have to have a word with JARVIS about that later. There was a purple line marked as Clint’s movements and an orange line for Natasha. They were nearly identical through the building, neither used the elevator to get to other floors, every bathroom had been entered by both, including those attached to teammate’s rooms, which were equally infiltrated. The only differences were that each had entered their own bedrooms, not each others, and Clint had been sleeping in out of the way places.
“I would like to note, sirs, that both agents only cover half the area in any given twelve hour period, switching to the other half of our quarters the next period. They do not overlap, they do not take the same route twice, nor check the same rooms at the same time as previously. There is no pattern to the time or location of bathroom use. They go slowly enough to be thorough.” JARVIS’ voice faded out and Bruce let out a low whistle.
“No overlap? Have they been communicating with one another?” Steve tried to keep the hope out of his voice, but it was there. Still, he made eye contact with the other three men, trying to exude confidence.
“No, sir. After the debriefing with Agent Hill, they split up without speaking or making any acknowledgement. They haven’t passed each other, even when switching patrols.”
And it was very evident to Steve that patrolling was exactly what they were doing.
“That mean something to you, military man?” Tony wasn’t blind. The Captain was a little bit freaked out beyond his former concern.
A worried Steve got soft. Not in temperament or ability, but in voice and gesture. He telegraphed comfort. “Yeah, it means something.” He looked down, realized he’d doodled Bucky’s face next to a note about checking the rooms Clint choose to sleep in. “Basic survival mode.”
Bruce nodded. Couldn’t say if it was because he concurred or because he had experience with the concept. Could very well be both. It was probably exactly as he assumed, but Thor still made a questioning noise, accompanied by a gesture.
Steve continued, “Eating enough to keep moving, drinking enough to stay on their feet, no trackable pattern to their movements in case of outside observation. They didn’t discuss it but their both doing it, so its got to be fall back behavior. Basic hygiene, or we’d actually have known something was wrong from smell or appearance sooner.” Not that they’d looked amazing, but everyone still looked like they could use extra sleep right now.
“That is not normal behavior given the lack of danger we are in. Or that we present.” Thor was cut off by Steve.
“Oh, they aren’t doing this in reaction to us. They’re patrolling our rooms, even. Either making sure we’re safe too, or being thorough enough to check out our areas to confirm we’re competent enough to keep them free of threats.” Either idea had its own set of pros and cons.
JARVIS qualified, “Both agents make it a point to cross paths with each of you once per twenty-four hour period, sir.”
“But not each other?”
“No, sir.”
“What’s the significance of that?” Bruce asked. He was bracing himself, like he knew the answer and wasn’t going to like it.
“It isn’t a necessary expenditure of energy. They know exactly what the other is doing already.”
Bruce was right, he hadn’t liked the answer. “JARVIS said they had three days downtime normally. We’re on day four with no sign of letting up. Thoughts on a plan of action? As someone who is often talked about in whispers behind closed doors, I’ve got to at least suggest talking directly to them.” He didn’t seem exactly thrilled with the idea.
“Sirs, Agent Barton’s enroute. He was going through the labs when I noted a change in behavior. He seems distressed. That was the last section of the floor and this one is next on his path. He has two more rooms before reaching here.
Tony blanched while Thor actually looked surprised. Steve just sighed, flipped his notebook forward several pages and began writing.
Thor - 1 pepperoni, 1 hamburger
Tony - ½ cheese
> 1 pizza
Bruce - ½ vegetarian
Me - Pineapple?
Clint -
Natasha -
“What-“ Thor didn’t get to finish, as the door opened with more force than necessary. Clint had more expression than any of them had seen in days. This wasn’t particularly reassuring as the emotion was, as JARVIS aptly put it, distress. He had sweat at his temples and had cleared the two rooms in record time. He didn’t move into the room, but his eyes moved quickly, taking in every corner and that there were no other doors in the room.
They could practically see the numbers click over in his head. One. Two. Three. Four. All present and accounted for. His eyes slid from agitated to narrowed. Steve spoke into the awkward silence.
“We’re ordering lunch. Pizza. You want to join us?”
Clint slowly shook his head no.
“You want me to order you anything?”
Another slow refusal.
“Hey, you okay?” Tony cut in. Clint didn’t even bother to look at him. Just shut the door behind him as he assumedly moved on to the next room.
Tony turned to Bruce. “No, I don’t think talking is going to be useful.” Bruce frowned at him but pointed out, “He answered yes or no questions.” Then he spoke to the room at large. “JARVIS, you said they had three days downtime. Like - off base, whatever they wanted to do downtime?”
“It wouldn’t appear so, sir. They regularly reported to Agent Coulson during that time for the past five years.”
Steve took over. “Thank you. Do you have an update on Agent Coulson’s condition?”
“Yes. You all received an email notification from Director Fury thirty minutes ago stating that he is now approved for visitors.”
“Tony, JARVIS is monitoring our email?” Bruce really had no cause to look so disappointed. It was hardly a surprise given any interaction he’d had with Tony over the past week.
“Let’s address that never. JARVIS, did our erstwhile compatriots get the same email?” Tony hoped to just steamroll past the topic.
“Yes, sir. Neither has a device to check, nor have they used my interface. A cursory exam of their inboxes shows nothing urgent at present. I will keep watch and report as needed.”
“Good man, JARVIS.”
“Hardly, sir.”
“How we going to play this, Captain?” And all three men looked at him. A different kind of battle, certainly, but they were following his lead again.
“I’m going to visit Phil.” He continued over their immediate demands to also attend the meeting with, “You want all four of us to be gone when Natasha realizes no one is where they’re supposed to be?” That stopped them all in their tracks.
Bruce managed, “Tony, maybe you should have Pepper-“ before Tony, phone in hand and typing out a message, responded, “On it.” She was going to be so upset when all she was allowed to do was nod to Clint as he passed her in the hall, but weird behavior wasn’t going to ease him.
“Actually order the pizza, since we said we were. I’ll be back in time for dinner. Make it hearty.” And Steve was gone.
*
JARVIS had neglected to mention that Coulson was very sleepy and very drugged. Still, he smiled wide when he saw Steve enter. “Hi, Captain.”
“Call me Steve, Phil.” Might as well make use of his charm.
“Hi, Steve!”
“Hi, Phil. How you doing?” The room was empty of people, but Steve didn’t have anything to check for surveillance or bugs. Time seemed to be pressing, so he was going to hope for the best.
“Not dead.” Phil sounded cheerful at the thought, and as someone recently unfrozen, Steve could appreciate the sentiment.
“We’re all glad. Anyone update you on the team?” Phil’s face narrowed in concentration. He was understandably not at his best. “No.”
Steve sat down beside the bed, smiled easily, and said, “All of us survived. Got dinner afterwards. Natasha got Clint’s head screwed on straight.” Let himself laugh, but Phil was frowning now, chasing a thought.
“How are they?” Like he knew something was off with them. Steve wondered how much Coulson would be talking if not for the drugs. Then again, if he wasn’t drugged up he would have been with them in person. Steve pushed aside the guilt. Needs must.
“They are a little out of it, Phil. I’ll be honest. I’m worried.” Phil smiled at him again. Steve chalked it up to Phil’s devotion to team dynamics. It dimmed as he spoke unfortunately.
“Out of it? Yeah, bad op. Takes a while to crawl back into your skin, you know?”
Steve knew, kind of, but that wasn’t enough to go on here.
“How can I help them with that?”
Phil gave him a look like he was an idiot that ended on a yawn. Still, he blinked the sleep from his eyes and said, “Take care of them.”
“Take care of them?”
Phil nodded a bit, gave a sleepy, “Mmmhmm. Gently.” He was fading fast and Steve was running out of time on this. What happened when they had a mission or either agent did get an important communication? How long was Fury giving them as down time in reward for saving the world? “Can you be a bit more specific, Phil?”
He was sliding into sleep as he said, “Start with a bath.”
*
Pepper was there at the dining table they actually used when Steve arrived. No one had tried to get Natasha or Clint to join them, though JARVIS had a map up in the corner tracking their movements. Steve sat down, accepted the bowl of stew he was passed and stared into it like it was going to give him advice.
Tony broke the silence, unsurprisingly. “Sooo…” Him trailing off was admittedly a bit unprecedented, actually.
“JARVIS, you happen to record the conversation from my phone?”
“Of course, sir.” Bruce managed to say, “Tony, seriously, we’ll need to talk about this.” Then Steve said, “Please play it.”
He ate through the brief audio clip. Met each person’s eyes, feeling semi-helpless and trying to hide it. He got to Pepper and she looked sympathetic.
“What?” He hadn’t meant to snap and she didn’t seem to mind.
“Steve. You’re the leader.” Like he didn’t know that? “You’re going to have to take charge. Lead them where they need to go.” Tony made a soft ‘oh’ of surprise. He didn’t give Steve a chance to respond before lazily rolling his head to look at Pepper. “Team effort?”
She actually smiled. “Looks like.”
“What do you think - separate baths?”
And it clicked into place for Steve, Thor and Bruce. They all agreed Tony was a half minute quicker because he had the Pepper advantage.
*
It was a risk, changing things up on Clint for the second time in a day. No one wanted to make them go a minute longer, and so... So Clint entered the hallway to Thor and Steve waiting. He started to shy away, but Steve moved slow and sure, planting himself in front of Clint, hand steady on his arm, trusting he wasn’t about to get thrown into a wall.
“Hey, Clint. It’s Thor’s turn to patrol.” Clint didn’t make an aggressive move, but the tension stayed in his arm. “Thor knows what to do. He’ll finish this floor, take the stairs heading up. It’s bathtime for you.” Figured it was Coulson’s wording, might as well use it. Still, he wasn’t getting a response.
“Can I take over watch, friend?” Thor asked, voice steady and true. Clint nodded at him, reluctantly but technically a yes. Using the yes/no model really did seem to work, so he followed it up with, “Will you go with the good captain to bathe?” Clint nodded again.
“Can you say it, Clint?” Steve joined in. It was raspy but he received a, “Yes” coupled with a nod. It counted as progress, even when Clint made no motion to move until Steve guided him from the hall. He looked back, anxiously, but Thor just entered the next room and began his patrol.
They had all agreed that it would be easier on them both if they knew someone had taken up the patrol and equally that in the interest of trust, it was important they follow through on their promise. Steve hoped Bruce and Pepper had done as well with Natasha. Personally, Steve didn’t think Natasha would particularly respond to Pepper on the basis of gender solidarity. Didn’t seem her M.O. but Pepper was the closest thing available to a friend Natasha had right now and that was what counted in his book.
Tony was actually prepping the bath and bedroom of his suite. The altruism seemed to be Pepper and pragmatism based, but it was still another subtle sign of the fact Tony already cared about his teammates. That he’d taken the time to track down pajamas that were wearable, if not the best fit, was a gesture all his own. Which, to cut down on the sentimentality of it, he made sure to point out frequently and emphatically to anyone who would sit still long enough for him to brag.
Pepper was as good as her word, Natasha standing in the gigantic bathroom as blank faced as Clint. They made eye contact with each other for a fraction of a second, lips tightening in mute unease. Partly to break the tension and partly because they were about to be in each other’s personal space for a while, Steve started with, “How about we brush our teeth?”
It wasn’t directly enough a yes or no question, apparently, as all he got was more unease across their faces. Clint eased back from how close he was to the group.
Pepper decided to try a slightly different tact. “Natasha, go stand by the left sink, please.” And Natasha nodded like it was an order from the next in command and went over, so Pepper continued. “Clint, please go stand by the righthand sink,” to equal results.
She and Steve tried the silent communication thing, and both were pretty sure the other understood but it wasn’t natural to them yet. Tony stepped into the doorway and raised an eyebrow at them both. It was way more effective, particularly when he held up two toothbrushes from the next floor’s guest bathroom. “Glad to see we’re all on the same page.” And tossed one of them to Steve. “Get that one open, would you?”
Tony crossed to stand next to Clint. “Hey, buddy. Got you a fresh toothbrush. Purple, your favorite!” Clint just watched him while Tony nearly destroyed it trying to open the package. The voice in the back of his head noted he could design something more efficient. Then, “Aha!” and he was brandishing the freed toothbrush, pushing it into Clint’s hand and stepping back.
Nothing happened.
Pepper tried, “Brush your teeth, Clint,” but she only got a blank stare in response. Things were starting to come together a little more for them all, but so slowly. Steve handed the opened package to Pepper, stepped between Clint and Tony, and uncapped the toothpaste. Holding it up, he asked, “Can I use this flavor?” When Clint nodded, Steve put a dollop on the purple toothbrush still in Clint’s hand.
He lifted the hand in his own, turned on the water and quickly ran the bristles under the water, turned off the stream because he was energy conscious even amidst upheaval, and guided it up to Clint’s mouth. When he removed his hand, Clint didn’t lower his own but he appeared to just be waiting there patiently. Steve contained his sigh, but he took the toothbrush, Clint’s hand falling away, and used his other hand to tap the side of Clint’s jaw. “Open up for me.”
He did, and Steve set about brushing from the other side of the equation. He could sense Tony staring, and used the mirror to see his captivated expression. “This is so weird.” Steve didn’t bother to admonish Tony. Yeah, this was different.
Pepper repeated his actions for Natasha, and there the five of them were standing, the two SHIELD agents docile and cooperating with direct, uncomplicated orders. “Rinse and spit.” “Gargle this mouthwash.” “Stand still,” which was a little unnecessary, given, but Steve used the hand towel Tony handed him to pat Clint’s face dry.
They discovered, “Get undressed” fell into the too complicated category, and rather than waste time going step by step through the motions, Steve stepped up and gently unzipped the front of Clint’s vest. Pepper did the same for Natasha after a near silent exchange with Tony that ended with, “Jesus, Pepper, look at them. Really?” She shot him a fond look, and he busied himself, back to them all, making sure he had soaps and shampoo at the ready, even grabbing Pepper’s pumice stone because who knew what was going to be useful?
Natasha’s suit might have been skin tight, but it was one piece and Pepper finished with it while Steve was still trying to figure out where all Clint’s vest attached to his pants. Natasha was out of her bra and underwear, Pepper leading her into the tub, Tony’s eyes once again averted, while Steve realized he’d need to deal with the boots still.
Eventually they were seated side by side in the water, on a wide ledge designed just for this kind of seating, Tony wisely having chosen a neutral scent that frothed bubbles up to help with concealment. The tub was big enough to swim around a bit, if they’d been inclined to do so. At present, that wasn’t an option and Tony considered them lucky in that at least. On the unlucky side, no one was moving.
No one was talking, either, because it was finally sinking in that things like, “Wash up,” just weren’t going to work for them. Tony’s, “One. Two. Three. Not it,” was unappreciated by all.
Still, Steve stepped up to the plate, dipped the sea sponge Tony had conveniently left on Clint’s side of the tub into the water and wrung it out. Then stared at the army of supplies Tony had also helpfully placed. Natasha’s side had an equal amount of choices, Steve noted. Hope springing eternal, he held up two bottles of body wash and asked, “Which one do you want me to use?”
Clint actually bit his lip in response, something Steve feverishly hoped he’d never, ever cause again. Precision and control were points of pride, obvious in his manner on the battlefield and equally noted in his personnel file. That Loki had so recently usurped that, coupled with this now, and Steve had a moment to wonder how much Clint remembered of his time under Loki’s control. How much he’d remember of his time like this.
He reworded it to a yes or no question, putting one of them down at random, “Do you want me to use this one?” Clint didn’t release his lip, didn’t move at all, and Tony slipped into place, kneeling beside Steve outside the tub.
“Don’t make it about want, Steve. They aren’t ready for it.” He nudged Steve’s arm up, holding the bottle up higher again, and asked, “Clint, can we use this to wash you up?” Clint nodded, small but visible. Tony reached out, used his thumb to gently tug Clint’s bottom lip free and leaving a smear of water droplets on his cheek. “There you go. No worries, we’re all friends here. You’re safe.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Natasha turn to look at Tony. There was a minute, quickly controlled tremor along her shoulders and she swallowed hard, still looking at him. Then her attention went back to Pepper, following her direction to lift her right arm and Pepper’s sponge gliding along leaving soapy trails in its wake.
They figured it out. Moved on, part by part, no hesitation, embarrassment or, thankfully, jokes from Tony as skin was revealed and resubmerged. The tub had one of those amazing attachments that Steve had grown to love, and used to gently rinse out shampoo, Clint’s head tipped back and eyes closed at Tony’s command. He didn’t react to the bit of scalp massage Steve treated him too, but at some point both of them had released the tension they’d been carrying. It happened so slowly no one could pinpoint when it had happened only that with the bath finished muscles were moving more smoothly.
Tony had giant, decadently fluffy towels that absorbed water while barely seeming sodden. Pepper made the de facto choice of helping their charges into the borrowed pajamas a priority, followed by hair drying once they were covered up. Pepper had a drastically different body shape than Natasha, and Tony had figured comfort over fashion so a pair of ridiculously fifties era button up pajamas had been taken from Bruce and rolled up to keep Natasha’s hands and feet free. Clint was sporting another rolled up ensemble from Steve’s drawers and Tony had the cleaning service put a rush order on laundering their unmentionables for the next day.
They had debated it before stepping foot outside of the kitchen, but now that the moment of truth was here, Steve was rethinking the whole, “Of course we aren’t going to send them off to their rooms to sneak out after two hours or wander off god knows where to plant an escape repel.” Now that they were all staring at the giant bed, not a standard size that you could buy frame or mattress for, the three of them knew this was going to take some maneuvering. Worse, some fairly intensive yes/no directed questioning.
Tony placed his finger to the side of his nose and Steve wondered how many ways the man knew to call ‘not it’.
“Natasha, are you tired?” She nodded, no pause necessary, and Steve decided to work on the same thing he’d begun with Clint. “Can you tell me?” Natasha’s voice, without personality behind it, was disconcerting, but she said, “Yes,” evenly. She made eye contact, which made it almost worse, because like her voice there was nothing behind it.
Still, when push came to shove, Tony pitched in. He might not have invented talking in riddles but he had certainly tried to patent it in 2002. “Can you fall asleep now?”
“No.”
Steve vaguely wondered what was going to happen tomorrow morning when he asked if they were hungry. Slipping back to the present, he started a new track. “Natasha, can you fall asleep with Clint in the same bed?” Apparently two verbal responses in a row were enough for her because she nodded again. “Clint, can you fall asleep if Natasha’s in the same bed?” He nodded too.
Steve gave Tony the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t just information gathering when he asked, “Can you fall asleep with someone else in the bed?” Neither answered, but Steve noticed that if the bitten lip was Clint’s tell, then Natasha’s was curling her toes. Pepper proved why Tony’d fallen madly in love with her before Steve could comment.
“Too broad, Tony. Could you fall asleep with another Avenger in the bed?” Natasha’s toes straightened and they nodded in unison. Tony bit back a comment about how creepy that looked to instead ask, “Coulson?” Despite himself, after their nods, Steve added, “Director Fury?” Tony shot him an appraising look tinged with respect. Steve wanted to tell him he didn’t dick around, in Tony’s vernacular, but there were more important things to focus on. Like how they both would have been able to sleep with Fury or Hill present, but no other SHIELD agents. No family. No friends. Steve cut off the questioning after Tony moved towards, “Prostitute?” Having anything remotely sexual come to mind while they were so far out of it seemed inherently wrong.
So they were tired, they could feasibly fall asleep in the bed but both knew that if they climbed in right then that they wouldn’t actually do so. Without more to go on, they had only a few sensible questions to ask before blind guessing would become a last resort. The most obvious thing to address was weaponry, so Tony got the knives and guns that they’d secured from the uniform holsters. They were accepted without any discernable change in expression, but each of them quickly performed a check on the weapons before securing them around the bed. Natasha to the left, again, and Clint to the right.
Pepper distracted Tony and Steve before they could start a new line of questioning on this.
“Hey, guys, how much do you think their auto-pilot is going to be on now that we’ve taken them under our wing?” Defense still seemed to be online. Steve saw several different possibilities spin out from that. He turned away from Pepper to address both the agents.
“You can use the facilities whenever necessary.” He almost, almost said ‘wanted’ before remembering how disastrous that could be. More pitfalls sprung to mind, though. “You need to use that bathroom, tonight. I’m going to stay awake, patrolling the suite. I’ll keep watch on the windows, the door, the closet and the bathroom. It will be safe.”
Natasha’s shoulder made the same, barely perceptible motion. Neither Tony nor Pepper seemed to notice either time and Steve had a moment to realize how very, very good at her job Natasha was truly. Playing the hunch, he added, “I’ll keep you safe. You can go to sleep.” Apparently their inner sleep directive was also still working for them, because that seemed to trip Natasha. She got into the bed of her own accord, turned onto her side and closed her eyes. Clint looked at her, slide back the covers on his side and flipped onto his stomach. His right hand was next to his head, resting on the pillow two inches from the knife he’d placed on the nightstand. They didn’t move again and their breathing was even.
“We’ll close the door behind us,” Pepper whispered, and Steve settled in to his patrol.
Part 2 of 2
Let me know if you come across any glaring errors, or terrible writing, or another fucking use of the word "though" (seriously). Any concrit is welcome. Chances are you'll be able to see where I transition from having reread the intro 5,000 times to my last few bits of 'just finish, oh god, so close, just finish'. Sorry and I love you?
Title from the song Ready to Start by Arcade Fire (with highly contested lyrics!)
Now I'm Ready to Start
It was Pepper who told Tony, pointed out that Natasha wasn’t acting at all like any of the versions they’d experienced yet.
“She’s blank, Tony.” She was starting right in the middle of the argument they had already fought twice now in three days.
“She’s a professional spy and assassin, Pep. She puts on and takes off personas like you do suits.” She leveled a look at him for that, because of the two he was the fashionista. “She never was really Natalie the PA. You can’t expect that from her.”
“Yes, I know this Tony. I kept in touch with her after-“
“I still haven’t forgiven her for stabbing me in the neck, saving the world aside, and I’m hurt that you’ve gone behind my back-“
“Tony!” Frustrated Pepper, in this way, was no good for him. “I’m not pretending I know her well but I know her enough that this feels wrong. She and Clint both came along when everyone else moved in but they’re…I don’t think they’ve even moved belongings in.”
Bruce hadn’t meant to be listening to their argument, but they were right outside his lab. Rather than wait until they realized, saying something in front of him that they’d really regret in the meantime, he finally gave up his subtle signals and just shouted out to them.
“Hey, guys! Were you headed this direction for a reason?” They cut-off, seeing him at his door and stepping out. Pepper was apologetic for the both of them, but Tony stole the chance to consult.
“Bruce. Spy versus Spy. Pep’s not only worried something is wiggy with them but that ‘as their teammate, I have a moral obligation to check on them’. Thoughts?”
He’d already figured out that part from their discussion, but - “Wiggy?”
“Yeah, wiggy. Little bit off. Don’t know Legolas well enough to know about the drifting aimlessly through rooms, but he could be doing special agent memorizing exits ninja shit. Widow sort of specializes in being unsettling. Sides, bit of a rough time for all of us recently. I want time, stands to reason they could too. I say leave well enough alone unless they give a signal. What’s your vote?”
Bruce and Pepper gave nearly identical sighs in unison, Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose in addition. Tony just narrowed his eyes at the both of them.
“Yeah, rough is a word you could use. Think it was different for them than us. I have some firsthand knowledge of acting outside your control, in Agent Barton’s case. Could be some PTSD. If we’re voting though? I say we talk to Steve.”
Tony groaned, but followed Bruce and Pepper from the room.
*
They’d all sort of gone along with Steve as Captain of the team, even if they weren’t otherwise military, because he had experience and Phil had put his weight behind it. They had honored a dying man’s wishes and when it turned out Fury had taken some creative licensing it seemed rude to be taker-backers just because he wasn’t dead.
Still, Steve kept proving himself in little ways each day. With half the team concerned, he listened to Tony argue in favor of leaving well enough alone, Bruce cautiously say there were probably some issues but take that with a grain of salt and Pepper argue passionately that something was very, very wrong. Then he did the sensible, professional leader action of using the tools at hand to gather more intel.
“JARVIS, can you give me information on Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff’s sleep and sustenance patterns?” Steve had taken about thirty seconds to adjust to JARVIS before ruthlessly exploiting him as a capable ally and source of information. When Tony asked him why it hadn’t shocked his delicate forties sensibilities, Steve had leveled a considering stare at him before saying, “I was a science experiment, Tony. Your dad made me a shield pretty much out of science fiction. Two days ago I was on a flying boat, met a god of legend and killed an alien race. Your super computer is useful, polite and I’m a quick study.”
JARVIS liked him immediately.
“Of course, sir. Agent Romanoff has been sleeping sporadically, approximately two hours for every thirty-six. She eats a protein bar and fruit leather every six hours like clockwork, which consistently works around her sleep schedule and is hydrating regularly. Miss Potts was correct, rations and weapons are the only things in her quarters.”
Pepper was a little pale at this, but she’d gone through worse weirdness with Tony and was visibly bucking herself up. The guys went with shorthand significant looks over her head.
“Agent Barton is following the same eating and hydrating pattern. He sleeps longer and more frequently, but the quality is lesser. He often wakes several times during his four hour stretches. His quarters are similar, except he only enters them to use the supplies.”
“Well then, where is he sleeping if he isn’t using the room?” So, okay, that was a little worrying. Tony had memorized the files Coulson left with him back before this all started and this didn’t fit with the vibe on either SHIELD agent’s records.
“Never the same place twice. Nowhere with windows or multiple entrances. He removes a ceiling tile and puts a climb rope in place first. I have kept staff away from his staked area each time.”
Bruce’s quiet,” Oh, good,” was perhaps more sarcastic than the occasion called for but Tony’s, “You didn’t think to mention that before now?” was equally unhelpful.
“It takes three days to establish a behavioral pattern and their SHIELD records indicated they have mandatory three days downtime after long or particularly difficult missions. It is likely this is normal behavior given that information.” JARVIS wasn’t well pleased with Tony calling him out.
Still, that was reassuring. Pepper was nodding her head, color more normal. So, Tony had been right, just a rough time for them, needed time to reach equilibrium. They were on the third day already. Maybe tomorrow she would see if Natasha wanted to get pedicures. She had rescheduled a week’s worth of meetings because it had almost been the end of the world and she’d almost lost Tony. Again.
Bruce was nodding, too, but thoughtful. There wasn’t any evidence that they had been worse and were now on the way towards better. Both agents seemed blank when passing him, not ignoring him so much as just performing the motions of acknowledgement. Still, one more day couldn’t hurt either way. Which he said.
“Keep your eyes open, then. I’ll check with Thor. Fury’s timetable on Thor returning Loki to Asgard is loosely in four more days. SHIELD is documenting whatever data they can get on the man first. I’d like to have the whole team present and functioning at that.” With that, Steve dismissed them. It took Tony a minute to realize that’s what it was. Pepper listened to him complain the entire elevator ride to their suite. At least he didn’t say ‘I told you so’.
*
Day four was a turning point that, retrospectively, everyone wished hadn’t been necessary. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and it wasn’t until Steve was passing Clint in a hallway rather than a room that several details came together for him. It wasn’t that Clint smelled particularly bad, just…noticeable. Steve nodded back as they passed, then turned to watch as Clint walked away. That’s when he noticed something that should have been glaringly obvious. There were tiny slashes in the back of Clint’s uniform, from where glass had been embedded, and Steve hadn’t seen either of them out of uniform since arriving at Stark Tower. He just hadn’t realized it was the same uniform.
“JARVIS.” His voice was soft, but he knew the AI could hear him.
“Yes, sir?”
“Analyze Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff’s movement since arrival. Report any patterns. Oh, and ask the other guys to meet me in the private dining room.”
“Of course, sir. And Miss Potts?”
“No, let’s wait to update her. She hasn’t spent much time in her office and I know her work is detailed and very involved.” He was already going over everything from the attack to present from his own memory. They both had seemed quiet at schwarma, but ate the plate put in from of them. Everyone had been given a quick look over by SHIELD’s field medic, that’s when the glass had been removed from Clint’s back then everyone was given the all-clear. Everyone went through decontamination, just in case. His suite hadn’t had alien guts on it afterwards, but it’d been torn up fairly well and he’d peeled out of it first chance he’d gotten.
Agent Hill had come to the tower to debrief them. First individually and then together to compare notes and impressions. They’d been concise, detailed and thorough. Thinking on it now, retrospectively, he wasn’t sure he’d actually heard either speak since.
Thor arrived first, followed by Tony and Bruce coming in together from the lab. It seemed weird to be having this conversation in an unused dining room on a fancier than necessary heavy oak table, but Steve wanted the table for his notes. JARVIS was swell, but the act of pen to paper was just soothing enough that he thought he could get through this.
No one bothered to ask what was up. They didn’t have anything else on the horizon. Steve, never one to shirk his duty, dove right in.
“They’re still wearing the same uniforms from the invasion.” It seemed a little dramatic put that way and if it wasn’t coupled with everything else, Tony would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he whispered, “Oh, shit.” Yeah, he understood that was pretty far into ‘not normal’ territory.
Even Thor was in civilian clothes. His frown was thoughtful and neither Bruce nor Tony had been with Steve for their discussion. It was with some surprise that they were caught up.
“I was thinking on what we discussed yesterday, Captain, and while it seems unnecessary to confirm it now, Hawkeye’s behavior as of late does not seem in keeping with my previous meeting.”
Tony asked, but Bruce was the one tilting his head in question. “You’ve met before?”
“Aye, in New Mexico last year. It was very brief, but he was one of the agents with Son of Coul.” Tony finally let himself roll his eyes, because he was fairly sure Thor was doing that on purpose. He let him continue, though, nothing short of a miracle. “We did not make formal acquaintance, but he made several jests in my presence.”
“Jests?” This was from Steve accompanied by an impressive frown.
“Yes. It seems he approved of my fighting style and thought several of his fellow agents should rethink active field duty.”
“So, Barton has a sense of humor in there somewhere. Noted. Since two of Earth’s deadliest agents appear to be off the deep end, what do we do about it?” Tony was ready for the take action part. If emotional nuance wasn’t a major portion of this, he might have just shoved off and tried a few ideas on his own. How hard would it be to get them drunk, Russian bedamned, with his experience?
Steve was saved answering whatever thoughts went along with his narrowed gaze, something half formed about mental health being no joking matter, by JARVIS.
“Captain Rogers, I have compiled the information you requested. Shall I bring up visuals?”
“Yes,” Tony and Steve spoke in unison, sharing glares in time as well. Bruce and Thor wisely stayed out of it.
There were seven floors dedicated to the Avengers, not including Pepper and Tony’s suite which was emphatically off limits. That didn’t appear to matter to either agent, who had both been through that floor in it’s entirety. Tony would have to have a word with JARVIS about that later. There was a purple line marked as Clint’s movements and an orange line for Natasha. They were nearly identical through the building, neither used the elevator to get to other floors, every bathroom had been entered by both, including those attached to teammate’s rooms, which were equally infiltrated. The only differences were that each had entered their own bedrooms, not each others, and Clint had been sleeping in out of the way places.
“I would like to note, sirs, that both agents only cover half the area in any given twelve hour period, switching to the other half of our quarters the next period. They do not overlap, they do not take the same route twice, nor check the same rooms at the same time as previously. There is no pattern to the time or location of bathroom use. They go slowly enough to be thorough.” JARVIS’ voice faded out and Bruce let out a low whistle.
“No overlap? Have they been communicating with one another?” Steve tried to keep the hope out of his voice, but it was there. Still, he made eye contact with the other three men, trying to exude confidence.
“No, sir. After the debriefing with Agent Hill, they split up without speaking or making any acknowledgement. They haven’t passed each other, even when switching patrols.”
And it was very evident to Steve that patrolling was exactly what they were doing.
“That mean something to you, military man?” Tony wasn’t blind. The Captain was a little bit freaked out beyond his former concern.
A worried Steve got soft. Not in temperament or ability, but in voice and gesture. He telegraphed comfort. “Yeah, it means something.” He looked down, realized he’d doodled Bucky’s face next to a note about checking the rooms Clint choose to sleep in. “Basic survival mode.”
Bruce nodded. Couldn’t say if it was because he concurred or because he had experience with the concept. Could very well be both. It was probably exactly as he assumed, but Thor still made a questioning noise, accompanied by a gesture.
Steve continued, “Eating enough to keep moving, drinking enough to stay on their feet, no trackable pattern to their movements in case of outside observation. They didn’t discuss it but their both doing it, so its got to be fall back behavior. Basic hygiene, or we’d actually have known something was wrong from smell or appearance sooner.” Not that they’d looked amazing, but everyone still looked like they could use extra sleep right now.
“That is not normal behavior given the lack of danger we are in. Or that we present.” Thor was cut off by Steve.
“Oh, they aren’t doing this in reaction to us. They’re patrolling our rooms, even. Either making sure we’re safe too, or being thorough enough to check out our areas to confirm we’re competent enough to keep them free of threats.” Either idea had its own set of pros and cons.
JARVIS qualified, “Both agents make it a point to cross paths with each of you once per twenty-four hour period, sir.”
“But not each other?”
“No, sir.”
“What’s the significance of that?” Bruce asked. He was bracing himself, like he knew the answer and wasn’t going to like it.
“It isn’t a necessary expenditure of energy. They know exactly what the other is doing already.”
Bruce was right, he hadn’t liked the answer. “JARVIS said they had three days downtime normally. We’re on day four with no sign of letting up. Thoughts on a plan of action? As someone who is often talked about in whispers behind closed doors, I’ve got to at least suggest talking directly to them.” He didn’t seem exactly thrilled with the idea.
“Sirs, Agent Barton’s enroute. He was going through the labs when I noted a change in behavior. He seems distressed. That was the last section of the floor and this one is next on his path. He has two more rooms before reaching here.
Tony blanched while Thor actually looked surprised. Steve just sighed, flipped his notebook forward several pages and began writing.
Thor - 1 pepperoni, 1 hamburger
Tony - ½ cheese
> 1 pizza
Bruce - ½ vegetarian
Me - Pineapple?
Clint -
Natasha -
“What-“ Thor didn’t get to finish, as the door opened with more force than necessary. Clint had more expression than any of them had seen in days. This wasn’t particularly reassuring as the emotion was, as JARVIS aptly put it, distress. He had sweat at his temples and had cleared the two rooms in record time. He didn’t move into the room, but his eyes moved quickly, taking in every corner and that there were no other doors in the room.
They could practically see the numbers click over in his head. One. Two. Three. Four. All present and accounted for. His eyes slid from agitated to narrowed. Steve spoke into the awkward silence.
“We’re ordering lunch. Pizza. You want to join us?”
Clint slowly shook his head no.
“You want me to order you anything?”
Another slow refusal.
“Hey, you okay?” Tony cut in. Clint didn’t even bother to look at him. Just shut the door behind him as he assumedly moved on to the next room.
Tony turned to Bruce. “No, I don’t think talking is going to be useful.” Bruce frowned at him but pointed out, “He answered yes or no questions.” Then he spoke to the room at large. “JARVIS, you said they had three days downtime. Like - off base, whatever they wanted to do downtime?”
“It wouldn’t appear so, sir. They regularly reported to Agent Coulson during that time for the past five years.”
Steve took over. “Thank you. Do you have an update on Agent Coulson’s condition?”
“Yes. You all received an email notification from Director Fury thirty minutes ago stating that he is now approved for visitors.”
“Tony, JARVIS is monitoring our email?” Bruce really had no cause to look so disappointed. It was hardly a surprise given any interaction he’d had with Tony over the past week.
“Let’s address that never. JARVIS, did our erstwhile compatriots get the same email?” Tony hoped to just steamroll past the topic.
“Yes, sir. Neither has a device to check, nor have they used my interface. A cursory exam of their inboxes shows nothing urgent at present. I will keep watch and report as needed.”
“Good man, JARVIS.”
“Hardly, sir.”
“How we going to play this, Captain?” And all three men looked at him. A different kind of battle, certainly, but they were following his lead again.
“I’m going to visit Phil.” He continued over their immediate demands to also attend the meeting with, “You want all four of us to be gone when Natasha realizes no one is where they’re supposed to be?” That stopped them all in their tracks.
Bruce managed, “Tony, maybe you should have Pepper-“ before Tony, phone in hand and typing out a message, responded, “On it.” She was going to be so upset when all she was allowed to do was nod to Clint as he passed her in the hall, but weird behavior wasn’t going to ease him.
“Actually order the pizza, since we said we were. I’ll be back in time for dinner. Make it hearty.” And Steve was gone.
*
JARVIS had neglected to mention that Coulson was very sleepy and very drugged. Still, he smiled wide when he saw Steve enter. “Hi, Captain.”
“Call me Steve, Phil.” Might as well make use of his charm.
“Hi, Steve!”
“Hi, Phil. How you doing?” The room was empty of people, but Steve didn’t have anything to check for surveillance or bugs. Time seemed to be pressing, so he was going to hope for the best.
“Not dead.” Phil sounded cheerful at the thought, and as someone recently unfrozen, Steve could appreciate the sentiment.
“We’re all glad. Anyone update you on the team?” Phil’s face narrowed in concentration. He was understandably not at his best. “No.”
Steve sat down beside the bed, smiled easily, and said, “All of us survived. Got dinner afterwards. Natasha got Clint’s head screwed on straight.” Let himself laugh, but Phil was frowning now, chasing a thought.
“How are they?” Like he knew something was off with them. Steve wondered how much Coulson would be talking if not for the drugs. Then again, if he wasn’t drugged up he would have been with them in person. Steve pushed aside the guilt. Needs must.
“They are a little out of it, Phil. I’ll be honest. I’m worried.” Phil smiled at him again. Steve chalked it up to Phil’s devotion to team dynamics. It dimmed as he spoke unfortunately.
“Out of it? Yeah, bad op. Takes a while to crawl back into your skin, you know?”
Steve knew, kind of, but that wasn’t enough to go on here.
“How can I help them with that?”
Phil gave him a look like he was an idiot that ended on a yawn. Still, he blinked the sleep from his eyes and said, “Take care of them.”
“Take care of them?”
Phil nodded a bit, gave a sleepy, “Mmmhmm. Gently.” He was fading fast and Steve was running out of time on this. What happened when they had a mission or either agent did get an important communication? How long was Fury giving them as down time in reward for saving the world? “Can you be a bit more specific, Phil?”
He was sliding into sleep as he said, “Start with a bath.”
*
Pepper was there at the dining table they actually used when Steve arrived. No one had tried to get Natasha or Clint to join them, though JARVIS had a map up in the corner tracking their movements. Steve sat down, accepted the bowl of stew he was passed and stared into it like it was going to give him advice.
Tony broke the silence, unsurprisingly. “Sooo…” Him trailing off was admittedly a bit unprecedented, actually.
“JARVIS, you happen to record the conversation from my phone?”
“Of course, sir.” Bruce managed to say, “Tony, seriously, we’ll need to talk about this.” Then Steve said, “Please play it.”
He ate through the brief audio clip. Met each person’s eyes, feeling semi-helpless and trying to hide it. He got to Pepper and she looked sympathetic.
“What?” He hadn’t meant to snap and she didn’t seem to mind.
“Steve. You’re the leader.” Like he didn’t know that? “You’re going to have to take charge. Lead them where they need to go.” Tony made a soft ‘oh’ of surprise. He didn’t give Steve a chance to respond before lazily rolling his head to look at Pepper. “Team effort?”
She actually smiled. “Looks like.”
“What do you think - separate baths?”
And it clicked into place for Steve, Thor and Bruce. They all agreed Tony was a half minute quicker because he had the Pepper advantage.
*
It was a risk, changing things up on Clint for the second time in a day. No one wanted to make them go a minute longer, and so... So Clint entered the hallway to Thor and Steve waiting. He started to shy away, but Steve moved slow and sure, planting himself in front of Clint, hand steady on his arm, trusting he wasn’t about to get thrown into a wall.
“Hey, Clint. It’s Thor’s turn to patrol.” Clint didn’t make an aggressive move, but the tension stayed in his arm. “Thor knows what to do. He’ll finish this floor, take the stairs heading up. It’s bathtime for you.” Figured it was Coulson’s wording, might as well use it. Still, he wasn’t getting a response.
“Can I take over watch, friend?” Thor asked, voice steady and true. Clint nodded at him, reluctantly but technically a yes. Using the yes/no model really did seem to work, so he followed it up with, “Will you go with the good captain to bathe?” Clint nodded again.
“Can you say it, Clint?” Steve joined in. It was raspy but he received a, “Yes” coupled with a nod. It counted as progress, even when Clint made no motion to move until Steve guided him from the hall. He looked back, anxiously, but Thor just entered the next room and began his patrol.
They had all agreed that it would be easier on them both if they knew someone had taken up the patrol and equally that in the interest of trust, it was important they follow through on their promise. Steve hoped Bruce and Pepper had done as well with Natasha. Personally, Steve didn’t think Natasha would particularly respond to Pepper on the basis of gender solidarity. Didn’t seem her M.O. but Pepper was the closest thing available to a friend Natasha had right now and that was what counted in his book.
Tony was actually prepping the bath and bedroom of his suite. The altruism seemed to be Pepper and pragmatism based, but it was still another subtle sign of the fact Tony already cared about his teammates. That he’d taken the time to track down pajamas that were wearable, if not the best fit, was a gesture all his own. Which, to cut down on the sentimentality of it, he made sure to point out frequently and emphatically to anyone who would sit still long enough for him to brag.
Pepper was as good as her word, Natasha standing in the gigantic bathroom as blank faced as Clint. They made eye contact with each other for a fraction of a second, lips tightening in mute unease. Partly to break the tension and partly because they were about to be in each other’s personal space for a while, Steve started with, “How about we brush our teeth?”
It wasn’t directly enough a yes or no question, apparently, as all he got was more unease across their faces. Clint eased back from how close he was to the group.
Pepper decided to try a slightly different tact. “Natasha, go stand by the left sink, please.” And Natasha nodded like it was an order from the next in command and went over, so Pepper continued. “Clint, please go stand by the righthand sink,” to equal results.
She and Steve tried the silent communication thing, and both were pretty sure the other understood but it wasn’t natural to them yet. Tony stepped into the doorway and raised an eyebrow at them both. It was way more effective, particularly when he held up two toothbrushes from the next floor’s guest bathroom. “Glad to see we’re all on the same page.” And tossed one of them to Steve. “Get that one open, would you?”
Tony crossed to stand next to Clint. “Hey, buddy. Got you a fresh toothbrush. Purple, your favorite!” Clint just watched him while Tony nearly destroyed it trying to open the package. The voice in the back of his head noted he could design something more efficient. Then, “Aha!” and he was brandishing the freed toothbrush, pushing it into Clint’s hand and stepping back.
Nothing happened.
Pepper tried, “Brush your teeth, Clint,” but she only got a blank stare in response. Things were starting to come together a little more for them all, but so slowly. Steve handed the opened package to Pepper, stepped between Clint and Tony, and uncapped the toothpaste. Holding it up, he asked, “Can I use this flavor?” When Clint nodded, Steve put a dollop on the purple toothbrush still in Clint’s hand.
He lifted the hand in his own, turned on the water and quickly ran the bristles under the water, turned off the stream because he was energy conscious even amidst upheaval, and guided it up to Clint’s mouth. When he removed his hand, Clint didn’t lower his own but he appeared to just be waiting there patiently. Steve contained his sigh, but he took the toothbrush, Clint’s hand falling away, and used his other hand to tap the side of Clint’s jaw. “Open up for me.”
He did, and Steve set about brushing from the other side of the equation. He could sense Tony staring, and used the mirror to see his captivated expression. “This is so weird.” Steve didn’t bother to admonish Tony. Yeah, this was different.
Pepper repeated his actions for Natasha, and there the five of them were standing, the two SHIELD agents docile and cooperating with direct, uncomplicated orders. “Rinse and spit.” “Gargle this mouthwash.” “Stand still,” which was a little unnecessary, given, but Steve used the hand towel Tony handed him to pat Clint’s face dry.
They discovered, “Get undressed” fell into the too complicated category, and rather than waste time going step by step through the motions, Steve stepped up and gently unzipped the front of Clint’s vest. Pepper did the same for Natasha after a near silent exchange with Tony that ended with, “Jesus, Pepper, look at them. Really?” She shot him a fond look, and he busied himself, back to them all, making sure he had soaps and shampoo at the ready, even grabbing Pepper’s pumice stone because who knew what was going to be useful?
Natasha’s suit might have been skin tight, but it was one piece and Pepper finished with it while Steve was still trying to figure out where all Clint’s vest attached to his pants. Natasha was out of her bra and underwear, Pepper leading her into the tub, Tony’s eyes once again averted, while Steve realized he’d need to deal with the boots still.
Eventually they were seated side by side in the water, on a wide ledge designed just for this kind of seating, Tony wisely having chosen a neutral scent that frothed bubbles up to help with concealment. The tub was big enough to swim around a bit, if they’d been inclined to do so. At present, that wasn’t an option and Tony considered them lucky in that at least. On the unlucky side, no one was moving.
No one was talking, either, because it was finally sinking in that things like, “Wash up,” just weren’t going to work for them. Tony’s, “One. Two. Three. Not it,” was unappreciated by all.
Still, Steve stepped up to the plate, dipped the sea sponge Tony had conveniently left on Clint’s side of the tub into the water and wrung it out. Then stared at the army of supplies Tony had also helpfully placed. Natasha’s side had an equal amount of choices, Steve noted. Hope springing eternal, he held up two bottles of body wash and asked, “Which one do you want me to use?”
Clint actually bit his lip in response, something Steve feverishly hoped he’d never, ever cause again. Precision and control were points of pride, obvious in his manner on the battlefield and equally noted in his personnel file. That Loki had so recently usurped that, coupled with this now, and Steve had a moment to wonder how much Clint remembered of his time under Loki’s control. How much he’d remember of his time like this.
He reworded it to a yes or no question, putting one of them down at random, “Do you want me to use this one?” Clint didn’t release his lip, didn’t move at all, and Tony slipped into place, kneeling beside Steve outside the tub.
“Don’t make it about want, Steve. They aren’t ready for it.” He nudged Steve’s arm up, holding the bottle up higher again, and asked, “Clint, can we use this to wash you up?” Clint nodded, small but visible. Tony reached out, used his thumb to gently tug Clint’s bottom lip free and leaving a smear of water droplets on his cheek. “There you go. No worries, we’re all friends here. You’re safe.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Natasha turn to look at Tony. There was a minute, quickly controlled tremor along her shoulders and she swallowed hard, still looking at him. Then her attention went back to Pepper, following her direction to lift her right arm and Pepper’s sponge gliding along leaving soapy trails in its wake.
They figured it out. Moved on, part by part, no hesitation, embarrassment or, thankfully, jokes from Tony as skin was revealed and resubmerged. The tub had one of those amazing attachments that Steve had grown to love, and used to gently rinse out shampoo, Clint’s head tipped back and eyes closed at Tony’s command. He didn’t react to the bit of scalp massage Steve treated him too, but at some point both of them had released the tension they’d been carrying. It happened so slowly no one could pinpoint when it had happened only that with the bath finished muscles were moving more smoothly.
Tony had giant, decadently fluffy towels that absorbed water while barely seeming sodden. Pepper made the de facto choice of helping their charges into the borrowed pajamas a priority, followed by hair drying once they were covered up. Pepper had a drastically different body shape than Natasha, and Tony had figured comfort over fashion so a pair of ridiculously fifties era button up pajamas had been taken from Bruce and rolled up to keep Natasha’s hands and feet free. Clint was sporting another rolled up ensemble from Steve’s drawers and Tony had the cleaning service put a rush order on laundering their unmentionables for the next day.
They had debated it before stepping foot outside of the kitchen, but now that the moment of truth was here, Steve was rethinking the whole, “Of course we aren’t going to send them off to their rooms to sneak out after two hours or wander off god knows where to plant an escape repel.” Now that they were all staring at the giant bed, not a standard size that you could buy frame or mattress for, the three of them knew this was going to take some maneuvering. Worse, some fairly intensive yes/no directed questioning.
Tony placed his finger to the side of his nose and Steve wondered how many ways the man knew to call ‘not it’.
“Natasha, are you tired?” She nodded, no pause necessary, and Steve decided to work on the same thing he’d begun with Clint. “Can you tell me?” Natasha’s voice, without personality behind it, was disconcerting, but she said, “Yes,” evenly. She made eye contact, which made it almost worse, because like her voice there was nothing behind it.
Still, when push came to shove, Tony pitched in. He might not have invented talking in riddles but he had certainly tried to patent it in 2002. “Can you fall asleep now?”
“No.”
Steve vaguely wondered what was going to happen tomorrow morning when he asked if they were hungry. Slipping back to the present, he started a new track. “Natasha, can you fall asleep with Clint in the same bed?” Apparently two verbal responses in a row were enough for her because she nodded again. “Clint, can you fall asleep if Natasha’s in the same bed?” He nodded too.
Steve gave Tony the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t just information gathering when he asked, “Can you fall asleep with someone else in the bed?” Neither answered, but Steve noticed that if the bitten lip was Clint’s tell, then Natasha’s was curling her toes. Pepper proved why Tony’d fallen madly in love with her before Steve could comment.
“Too broad, Tony. Could you fall asleep with another Avenger in the bed?” Natasha’s toes straightened and they nodded in unison. Tony bit back a comment about how creepy that looked to instead ask, “Coulson?” Despite himself, after their nods, Steve added, “Director Fury?” Tony shot him an appraising look tinged with respect. Steve wanted to tell him he didn’t dick around, in Tony’s vernacular, but there were more important things to focus on. Like how they both would have been able to sleep with Fury or Hill present, but no other SHIELD agents. No family. No friends. Steve cut off the questioning after Tony moved towards, “Prostitute?” Having anything remotely sexual come to mind while they were so far out of it seemed inherently wrong.
So they were tired, they could feasibly fall asleep in the bed but both knew that if they climbed in right then that they wouldn’t actually do so. Without more to go on, they had only a few sensible questions to ask before blind guessing would become a last resort. The most obvious thing to address was weaponry, so Tony got the knives and guns that they’d secured from the uniform holsters. They were accepted without any discernable change in expression, but each of them quickly performed a check on the weapons before securing them around the bed. Natasha to the left, again, and Clint to the right.
Pepper distracted Tony and Steve before they could start a new line of questioning on this.
“Hey, guys, how much do you think their auto-pilot is going to be on now that we’ve taken them under our wing?” Defense still seemed to be online. Steve saw several different possibilities spin out from that. He turned away from Pepper to address both the agents.
“You can use the facilities whenever necessary.” He almost, almost said ‘wanted’ before remembering how disastrous that could be. More pitfalls sprung to mind, though. “You need to use that bathroom, tonight. I’m going to stay awake, patrolling the suite. I’ll keep watch on the windows, the door, the closet and the bathroom. It will be safe.”
Natasha’s shoulder made the same, barely perceptible motion. Neither Tony nor Pepper seemed to notice either time and Steve had a moment to realize how very, very good at her job Natasha was truly. Playing the hunch, he added, “I’ll keep you safe. You can go to sleep.” Apparently their inner sleep directive was also still working for them, because that seemed to trip Natasha. She got into the bed of her own accord, turned onto her side and closed her eyes. Clint looked at her, slide back the covers on his side and flipped onto his stomach. His right hand was next to his head, resting on the pillow two inches from the knife he’d placed on the nightstand. They didn’t move again and their breathing was even.
“We’ll close the door behind us,” Pepper whispered, and Steve settled in to his patrol.
Part 2 of 2