Fic: You Pay, We Slay
Title: You Pay, We Slay
Creator: drizzlydaze
Rating: G
Setting: S6 Flooded
Word count: 402
Prompt: Mineral oil, whose picture looks like a droplet of water
A/N: TEAM DRAGON. DRAAAAAGONS!
The pipes broke. M’Fashnik was M’Assacred, but the pipes were still broken. Buffy looked helplessly at the steadily flooding room with her steadily flooding eyes.
Spike, seeing that she wasn’t about to move any time soon, went to dispose of the body after an awkward pat on Buffy’s back. When he returned, she looked like Willow needed to take another trip into her mind, but possible catatonia was ruled impossible when he got close enough to hear the mutters of full copper re-pipe over the sounds of gushing water.
“Buffy?” Spike said.
Buffy stopped muttering, and said slowly, “How does Slayer for Hire sound? Too hitman-y?”
“What?”
“Yeah, makes it sound illegal,” Buffy said, nodding. “Wait, I got it! You Pay, We Slay. It rhymes and everything. And it gets the point across.”
“Guh?”
“Knew those poetry classes would come in handy,” she said. Spike was beginning to grow seriously alarmed. “We’ll use that as our tagline. We still need a real company name, though... Something firm, reassuring. Professional.”
“Uh, Buffy,” he tried again. “Slayer, I think you should-”
“-Yeah,” she said brightly, and he blinked. “Buffy, Slayer does have a ring to it. I should put that on those plate things-a nameplate. I’d have one.”
“I think you’re missing the point, pet-”
“-You’re right. It’s pretty obvious now,” Buffy said. Her constant agreement made him nervous. “The Scoobies. That’s the name.”
He gave up. “No one knows who the bloody Scoobies are.”
“They will,” Buffy said, firm. “Anyway, no one knew who Angel was either, and he’s doing-”
Spike snorted. “Oh, well if Angel’s doing fine... ‘Sides, he’s got an Investigations after his name. Bet his unfortunate customers got no clue what the Angel bit’s for.”
“Fine. Scooby Slayage,” Buffy said. “Scoobies and Slayer. Scooby… uh…”
“Scooby Slayers,” he said. “Demand to cut down the idiot population. People’ll pay for that.” He paused. “Well, I’d pay for it. Especially slaying Harris…”
She ignored that. “I should ask Angel how much he makes.”
“Oh, no doubt he’s paid in moral wallowing and brood,” he said, and added facetiously, “But you know, the criminal life’s easy money.”
“Brooding’s not about to save the water supply-that’s it!” she said. “I rescue the plumbers from a demon. We have to get a demon, Spike. The wilder, the better.” He gaped at her. She didn’t seem to notice. “Demon Slayers… Demon Hunters… Rogue Demon Hunters…”
Creator: drizzlydaze
Rating: G
Setting: S6 Flooded
Word count: 402
Prompt: Mineral oil, whose picture looks like a droplet of water
A/N: TEAM DRAGON. DRAAAAAGONS!
The pipes broke. M’Fashnik was M’Assacred, but the pipes were still broken. Buffy looked helplessly at the steadily flooding room with her steadily flooding eyes.
Spike, seeing that she wasn’t about to move any time soon, went to dispose of the body after an awkward pat on Buffy’s back. When he returned, she looked like Willow needed to take another trip into her mind, but possible catatonia was ruled impossible when he got close enough to hear the mutters of full copper re-pipe over the sounds of gushing water.
“Buffy?” Spike said.
Buffy stopped muttering, and said slowly, “How does Slayer for Hire sound? Too hitman-y?”
“What?”
“Yeah, makes it sound illegal,” Buffy said, nodding. “Wait, I got it! You Pay, We Slay. It rhymes and everything. And it gets the point across.”
“Guh?”
“Knew those poetry classes would come in handy,” she said. Spike was beginning to grow seriously alarmed. “We’ll use that as our tagline. We still need a real company name, though... Something firm, reassuring. Professional.”
“Uh, Buffy,” he tried again. “Slayer, I think you should-”
“-Yeah,” she said brightly, and he blinked. “Buffy, Slayer does have a ring to it. I should put that on those plate things-a nameplate. I’d have one.”
“I think you’re missing the point, pet-”
“-You’re right. It’s pretty obvious now,” Buffy said. Her constant agreement made him nervous. “The Scoobies. That’s the name.”
He gave up. “No one knows who the bloody Scoobies are.”
“They will,” Buffy said, firm. “Anyway, no one knew who Angel was either, and he’s doing-”
Spike snorted. “Oh, well if Angel’s doing fine... ‘Sides, he’s got an Investigations after his name. Bet his unfortunate customers got no clue what the Angel bit’s for.”
“Fine. Scooby Slayage,” Buffy said. “Scoobies and Slayer. Scooby… uh…”
“Scooby Slayers,” he said. “Demand to cut down the idiot population. People’ll pay for that.” He paused. “Well, I’d pay for it. Especially slaying Harris…”
She ignored that. “I should ask Angel how much he makes.”
“Oh, no doubt he’s paid in moral wallowing and brood,” he said, and added facetiously, “But you know, the criminal life’s easy money.”
“Brooding’s not about to save the water supply-that’s it!” she said. “I rescue the plumbers from a demon. We have to get a demon, Spike. The wilder, the better.” He gaped at her. She didn’t seem to notice. “Demon Slayers… Demon Hunters… Rogue Demon Hunters…”