Writing, finally
Hello there, poor neglected journal. There's the constant push in the back of my mind to be writing and not losing memories to vagueness, so I'm trying right now. A lot of important things are happening and there's no use not keeping a record or being so inexact about it and letting it all fade away.
I'm so shattered, though. I've been lying in bed until 4pm today, not sleeping, just lying there with bones hurting and feeling a bit sorry for myself and thinking that I ought to get up and do something. Of course I should. I have work tonight anyway and if I'm going to go running off around the world, I need to put some effort in to earn some money.
I can't wait. My heart's aching even for little things like the heat on my skin and the smell of being in a warm place. It's funny that this time it doesn't feel so much like running away, but going back somewhere far away where I shouldn't have left for so long. I mean, I'm going to explore new places all around there too which is also wonderful and exciting. But this is the main thing.
I wish I could paint more, too. There're very few things I can really lose myself in for hours other than art these days. I used to do it with writing quite literally every single day but that's been harder recently (I don't know why, but I also haven't given it enough thought). But funds are tight and so is time. I'm in honours year, working too and training hard for Reiki. And I still want to find time to see my friends. Still, I want to paint things. And the people I care about. But I'm nervous about that- I don't know if I'm able to paint people well. Sure, I can draw, with lines. But paint is harder. Still, I'm sure time will help. And for poetry too, although that's probably going to be harder to get going again.
Anyway onto the anti-writer's block initiative-
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
What a daunting question. Where are you supposed to start for that sort of thing? Physical appearance? Gender? Age? Interests? Usually I just shake someone's hand, say "Hi, I'm Sazi" and get on with some sort of conversation. This is probably why I find 'About Me' sections so difficult and wind up using the same one for all my needs- I never know where to start or quite what to say. There's an awful lot to say after all, and not just about me. The same goes for anyone.
But I might as well get cracking.
So, I suppose the first things you'd notice about me if you met me are that I'm female, Asian (actually I'm Eurasian, half Hainanese Chinese and half British but few people tend to pick up on that in the UK), I tend to have pretty crazily coloured hair and that I'm about 5'6".
The first things I tend to notice about myself in the morning are that I haven't slept enough (insomnia), that things hurt a bit (hyper-flexible joints) and that, if I have uni, that I've probably forgotten to do something to prepare because I've been up all night being social/geeky/procrastinatey. So clearly, I'm a positive and motivated soul.
Really, though, I'm going to be much less regimented about the whole thing. Defining like that is strange.
So. I'm a creative wee soul and I like to think I have a lot of good intent but I lack the motivation often- or is it the time and energy? I'm in a constant state of dreaming and hoping and thinking along many trains of thought about such things. And hardly any worrying about the future, if I'm honest, comparatively. And despite any lack of motivation, I'm still very determined. I've got certain plans regarding my future and I'm sure I'll keep to them.
For the time being, I'm studying Philosophy at Edinburgh University and living in a flat in the city centre at one of those strange intersections that Edinburgh has between the high levels of the city and the low ones (If you've been to Edinburgh, you'll know what I'm talking about). I like that- I've always liked crossroads. I don't know if you could say that you study healing exactly, but I do that too. Training, I guess. I don't do enough in the way of martial arts anymore, but I still feel passionately about those. I keep promising myself that I'll find the time to get back into them again. I paint, draw, sing and sometimes I try to write with as much enthusiasm as I used to but it always comes out tentatively. Pretty girls and kittens make my heart melt. There are integral parts of myself that I hold more dear that I could explain even though I've never told anyone about them, that make up such an important part of me. I love to take pictures to remember because I hate the possibility that if I don't, I might not. And for all the unpleasant things that have happened, I've been granted with wonderful opportunities and I'm on a path that I'm very glad to be on.
Oh, and next summer I'm going both home and adventuring. I'm so excited.
________________
There, I think that'll do. It's not a bad little start at getting writing again- at least it's substantial! Right, I have a noodle to eat, then it's time to get ready for work. And tonight I have letters to write. I love letters.
I'm so shattered, though. I've been lying in bed until 4pm today, not sleeping, just lying there with bones hurting and feeling a bit sorry for myself and thinking that I ought to get up and do something. Of course I should. I have work tonight anyway and if I'm going to go running off around the world, I need to put some effort in to earn some money.
I can't wait. My heart's aching even for little things like the heat on my skin and the smell of being in a warm place. It's funny that this time it doesn't feel so much like running away, but going back somewhere far away where I shouldn't have left for so long. I mean, I'm going to explore new places all around there too which is also wonderful and exciting. But this is the main thing.
I wish I could paint more, too. There're very few things I can really lose myself in for hours other than art these days. I used to do it with writing quite literally every single day but that's been harder recently (I don't know why, but I also haven't given it enough thought). But funds are tight and so is time. I'm in honours year, working too and training hard for Reiki. And I still want to find time to see my friends. Still, I want to paint things. And the people I care about. But I'm nervous about that- I don't know if I'm able to paint people well. Sure, I can draw, with lines. But paint is harder. Still, I'm sure time will help. And for poetry too, although that's probably going to be harder to get going again.
Anyway onto the anti-writer's block initiative-
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
What a daunting question. Where are you supposed to start for that sort of thing? Physical appearance? Gender? Age? Interests? Usually I just shake someone's hand, say "Hi, I'm Sazi" and get on with some sort of conversation. This is probably why I find 'About Me' sections so difficult and wind up using the same one for all my needs- I never know where to start or quite what to say. There's an awful lot to say after all, and not just about me. The same goes for anyone.
But I might as well get cracking.
So, I suppose the first things you'd notice about me if you met me are that I'm female, Asian (actually I'm Eurasian, half Hainanese Chinese and half British but few people tend to pick up on that in the UK), I tend to have pretty crazily coloured hair and that I'm about 5'6".
The first things I tend to notice about myself in the morning are that I haven't slept enough (insomnia), that things hurt a bit (hyper-flexible joints) and that, if I have uni, that I've probably forgotten to do something to prepare because I've been up all night being social/geeky/procrastinatey. So clearly, I'm a positive and motivated soul.
Really, though, I'm going to be much less regimented about the whole thing. Defining like that is strange.
So. I'm a creative wee soul and I like to think I have a lot of good intent but I lack the motivation often- or is it the time and energy? I'm in a constant state of dreaming and hoping and thinking along many trains of thought about such things. And hardly any worrying about the future, if I'm honest, comparatively. And despite any lack of motivation, I'm still very determined. I've got certain plans regarding my future and I'm sure I'll keep to them.
For the time being, I'm studying Philosophy at Edinburgh University and living in a flat in the city centre at one of those strange intersections that Edinburgh has between the high levels of the city and the low ones (If you've been to Edinburgh, you'll know what I'm talking about). I like that- I've always liked crossroads. I don't know if you could say that you study healing exactly, but I do that too. Training, I guess. I don't do enough in the way of martial arts anymore, but I still feel passionately about those. I keep promising myself that I'll find the time to get back into them again. I paint, draw, sing and sometimes I try to write with as much enthusiasm as I used to but it always comes out tentatively. Pretty girls and kittens make my heart melt. There are integral parts of myself that I hold more dear that I could explain even though I've never told anyone about them, that make up such an important part of me. I love to take pictures to remember because I hate the possibility that if I don't, I might not. And for all the unpleasant things that have happened, I've been granted with wonderful opportunities and I'm on a path that I'm very glad to be on.
Oh, and next summer I'm going both home and adventuring. I'm so excited.
________________
There, I think that'll do. It's not a bad little start at getting writing again- at least it's substantial! Right, I have a noodle to eat, then it's time to get ready for work. And tonight I have letters to write. I love letters.