(no subject)
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the nees of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night wil become like the noonday.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame...
especially when you play basketball everyday
isaiah 58
which i have been doing and it hurts to walk.
this is probably the most confused i have ever begun a year. cant say i hate it. cant say i like it. thats just how confused i am. maybe confused is too harsh of a word...unsure? no i think its just confused. my confusion has brought me a lack of words regarding ANYTHING. including everyday conversations with pretty much anyone. but i am sure i loved bob witherspoon. an old man who lived across the street when i was in 1st and 2nd grade and i sat in his driveway and watched him fix his car and we talked for hours every single day. and he caught squirrels and took them to the park. and when there was snow he pulled me in a round sled in the cul de sac. he died a year ago and my grandma mentioned it to me offhand and to her surprise i bawled my eyes out. there are so many things going through my head it is physically impossible to clearly verbalize. oh and i am sure i love beau. and my mom. and deborah. and so many other people. so i am sure of who i love.
i am tired of having shallow relationships that start and end at the same place. i realized this the past summer when i spent so much time with the japanese students and loved them in a very different way that did not require so much constant talking but just a deep and simple appreciation for one another that led to love and trust and respect. why does everyone have to talk so much? and me too. i was reminded of this tonight when megan mentioned this about the people she lived with in papua. just real and honest and not worried about people's reaction or opinion and not judging because life is nothing more than just what it is.