please leave a comment... everyone....
I am not sure what to title this and i am sure no one will comment no
one ever does really...cept 2 or 3 certain people so here it is... my
newest poem
Looking at you
Then to the knife
That is gently pressed
Against my beating neck
Cold, deep, and blue
Are the eyes that stare at you
Feeling the coldness of the blade
Cutting gently into my neck
Through the redness in my eyes
I catch one last glimpse
Of your beautiful face
And mumble "Thank you..."
Noticing the crimson droplets
Along the tips of your fingers
You cut abit deeper than before
As I take one last gasp of air
I watch my cold limp body
Fall to the ground as I think
"I am free now thanks to you..."
Then as one last tear falls... it ends
i made it jus a few min ago thinking about someone... wierd huh?.... my mother like figure said it was.... *pause* interesting... then she gave me a dirty look....
basicly what it means... is can not commit suicide on my own... i would have to have someone help me... the love of my life (who ever that is) if you read it again knowing that... you will understand it... i DO want to die... and i have plenty of reasons to... jus i cannot and will not til... i find the someone...
o_0 you all think you kno me... but none of you.... none of you at all... actually kno me.... for what you all see is a side i have made up to force my brain into thinking i am perfectly fine and that is why i am always able to listen and usually always be calm in the worst situation... so in short i have lyed to you all for the matt that you kno... he actually does not exist... for i am actually cold... bitter... and i could give a shit less about myself or anyone else really... cept for 5 people... who shall remain nameless... now do you want the bitter side or the fake side.... you decide... and tell me... hard choice isn't it... it is for me... i kno that much because if i was my real side i would not have met any of you yet if it weren't for the fake side i wouldn't have met you... real or fake? bitter or sweet... you want the real but you dont want the bitter you dont want the fake but you want the sweet.... life... thats the way it is...
I force the smile on my face to please you... also to please myself... i listen to your problems and force myself to remain calm... so that i may make you laugh and make your day better... so that i myself know that i am not totally worthless... i did this not to make you feel better but to give me... self gratification... your happiness makes me miserable for i am not happy at all... there are 5 people out there that actually make me have feelings i rarely ever experience... happiness... and that comes very truely rarely for me... cept for those sugar high days or when i am drunk or high... bad habit i kno... and i may be quitting soon... but for now... it stays... and if you can't accept that... then FUCK OFF!
I could give a shit less whether you liked it or not... its my life im ruining not yours
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU FUCKERS WHO THINK I AM AIMING FOR SELF PITY! I AM NOT! I COULD GIVE A SHIT LESS ABOUT YOUR DAMN SIMPATHY I AM JUS SAYING WHAT IS ON MY DAMN MIND! THAT IS WHAT THESE THINGS ARE FOR YOU KNOW!
Looking at you
Then to the knife
That is gently pressed
Against my beating neck
Cold, deep, and blue
Are the eyes that stare at you
Feeling the coldness of the blade
Cutting gently into my neck
Through the redness in my eyes
I catch one last glimpse
Of your beautiful face
And mumble "Thank you..."
Noticing the crimson droplets
Along the tips of your fingers
You cut abit deeper than before
As I take one last gasp of air
I watch my cold limp body
Fall to the ground as I think
"I am free now thanks to you..."
Then as one last tear falls... it ends
i made it jus a few min ago thinking about someone... wierd huh?.... my mother like figure said it was.... *pause* interesting... then she gave me a dirty look....
basicly what it means... is can not commit suicide on my own... i would have to have someone help me... the love of my life (who ever that is) if you read it again knowing that... you will understand it... i DO want to die... and i have plenty of reasons to... jus i cannot and will not til... i find the someone...
o_0 you all think you kno me... but none of you.... none of you at all... actually kno me.... for what you all see is a side i have made up to force my brain into thinking i am perfectly fine and that is why i am always able to listen and usually always be calm in the worst situation... so in short i have lyed to you all for the matt that you kno... he actually does not exist... for i am actually cold... bitter... and i could give a shit less about myself or anyone else really... cept for 5 people... who shall remain nameless... now do you want the bitter side or the fake side.... you decide... and tell me... hard choice isn't it... it is for me... i kno that much because if i was my real side i would not have met any of you yet if it weren't for the fake side i wouldn't have met you... real or fake? bitter or sweet... you want the real but you dont want the bitter you dont want the fake but you want the sweet.... life... thats the way it is...
I force the smile on my face to please you... also to please myself... i listen to your problems and force myself to remain calm... so that i may make you laugh and make your day better... so that i myself know that i am not totally worthless... i did this not to make you feel better but to give me... self gratification... your happiness makes me miserable for i am not happy at all... there are 5 people out there that actually make me have feelings i rarely ever experience... happiness... and that comes very truely rarely for me... cept for those sugar high days or when i am drunk or high... bad habit i kno... and i may be quitting soon... but for now... it stays... and if you can't accept that... then FUCK OFF!
I could give a shit less whether you liked it or not... its my life im ruining not yours
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU FUCKERS WHO THINK I AM AIMING FOR SELF PITY! I AM NOT! I COULD GIVE A SHIT LESS ABOUT YOUR DAMN SIMPATHY I AM JUS SAYING WHAT IS ON MY DAMN MIND! THAT IS WHAT THESE THINGS ARE FOR YOU KNOW!