(no subject)
'We all see the world through our past hurts'
I'm writhing this as my coworker is on break so parts it will be. Today is not being very good for me. I'd set my intent at waking up and 3 hours later, after an intense game of Alarm Clock Tag I woke up as I should have been arriving at work. The sad realization running around in my head that I don't like my life right now. Who I am is ok I guess, though I feel that were that really the case I would be more happy with my life. Chicken/egg thing. I do not like my job, I have reached the top here and can go no further, with nothing to strive for I am just fittering around doing nothing. Not even really working cause what's the point? I won't get a raise, or a promotion. I don't think I'd even get a pat on the back (and yes I need that) because I'm doing my job. Good or bad it's just doing my job. It was exciting getting raises, working hard and striving for more, but now that there is no more why I am I even here? I remember, it's cause I live pay check to pay check and don't have the courage to leave and try for that illusive More. So I'm looking for ways to save money (roommates) so that I can save and chase that More I so desperately need. Feeling locked to a place and time, with a redundancy so intense today might as well be yesterday or even tomorrow, it does not matter. It's always the same.
I'm writhing this as my coworker is on break so parts it will be. Today is not being very good for me. I'd set my intent at waking up and 3 hours later, after an intense game of Alarm Clock Tag I woke up as I should have been arriving at work. The sad realization running around in my head that I don't like my life right now. Who I am is ok I guess, though I feel that were that really the case I would be more happy with my life. Chicken/egg thing. I do not like my job, I have reached the top here and can go no further, with nothing to strive for I am just fittering around doing nothing. Not even really working cause what's the point? I won't get a raise, or a promotion. I don't think I'd even get a pat on the back (and yes I need that) because I'm doing my job. Good or bad it's just doing my job. It was exciting getting raises, working hard and striving for more, but now that there is no more why I am I even here? I remember, it's cause I live pay check to pay check and don't have the courage to leave and try for that illusive More. So I'm looking for ways to save money (roommates) so that I can save and chase that More I so desperately need. Feeling locked to a place and time, with a redundancy so intense today might as well be yesterday or even tomorrow, it does not matter. It's always the same.