(no subject)
Fafsa finally done.
Reapplied for school.
I... I'm feeling more and more unsure of things. I know I'm unhappy with where I am, but I feel like I'm out of places to go, or more appropriately ways to get there. I'm going to get my finances in order, in hopes that my Grandpa will let me move back in. Not for a long time, a few months till I'm out of debt. It would be easier to just get a roommate, but no one seems to be looking. And I'm not a very easy person to live with. I'm ok...ish. But I like quite. I like being respected in certain ways that some people find extreme. Well, that's my guess. I can be very easy going. And God knows living alone is driving me up a wall. I miss having some one around. I miss getting hugs at bed time. Having some one to talk to when my head is spiraling out of control. I like this freedom, I just don't really want it. 500+ in rent is some thing I'm doing and have been for almost a year but I'd rather pay less. Even at my grandparents I'd pay 300 I think but not having to cover the small house hold bills would be just mind boggling.
My walls are pretty barren, cause there feels like there is no reason to do more.
My house smells bad. That won't happen again. I'm not having pets for a very long time. And if I do my pet will not be like my last one. I'm still bitter at how that mess went down. Guess it does not really matter any more.
I feel like I'm loosing in life. I'm paying for my mistakes, and that is the way it should be. But, is this all that will become of me? Am I forever to be buried under youthful foolishness? I'm 26, will I never be more then a growing age?