I'll take that as a sign.
So, for literal months now, I've been putting in what I consider to be an ENORMOUS amount of legwork required to become a substitute teacher in the district where my children go to school. There was more paperwork involved in this process than there has been so far in my divorce proceedings, which I find odd. Ten years of marriage, you say? You're done with that? Sign here, please. Substitute teaching position? First, fill out 15 forms. Go online and make an appointment to get fingerprinted in a distant town since there is no fingerprinting company near you. Pay hundreds of dollars for the state of New Jersey to tell you that you've never been in jail or committed a crime. Give blood. Get a TB test. Go back 3 days later to have them verify that you don't have TB (Good to know!). Make copies of all of your certifications, resume, and credentials. Take gigantic stack of papers back into the superintendent's office. Wait to get approved at the Board Meeting. Wait two more weeks, WHILE SCHOOL IS IN AND YOU COULD BE WORKING, until today at 3:30 (right when your kids get off the bus - so get a babysitter!). Attend the Substitute Teacher Orientation Meeting, which is actually run BY THE SUPERINTENDENT. Not even kidding. These people, they take their substitute teaching sitch seriously, yo.
NOW I am officially "cleared" to enter one of the schools in this here town, enter a classroom, and, OHMYGAWD! Teach something! Which I did for IDON'TKNOW - Eight years! Every day! All by myself! It's kind of like telling the Head of Oncology that he has to go back and start his residency all over again. But, no. That would never happen, would it? Because the Head of Oncology didn't quit his job to raise two kids, did he? No, no he did not.
I digress.
I cannot even believe I'm about to say this, but the Substitute Teacher Orientation Meeting was amazing. A. MAZING. Now, I know what you're all thinking. "Did Adrienne, in fact, smoke crack today?" No, I did not. I DREADED this meeting with the heat of a thousand suns. I felt like I would rather have someone stick push pins through each and every one of my fingernails than be forced to listen to some bullshit about shit I. ALREADY. KNOW. (See previous entry.)
But, guess what? And this goes along with my WILFL series. This next sentence will shock and awe EVERYONE.
I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING.
One thing I didn't know, for sure, is how much I fucking miss teaching. Until today at 3:30. Ok, 3:45, because it wasn't until the superintendent sat down and the FOURTH GRADE TEACHER who was running the main portion of the meeting began talking, that I went
Oh yeah.
I remember this.
I rocked this shit.
I was the only one in that room with actual public school classroom teaching experience, too, and I know this because we all had to share facts about ourselves. And yes, if you're wondering, I was tempted to say something like
"Hi, I'm Adrienne. I'm awesome! I hate bees though."
But I acted like a grown-up. It was hard, but I did it. I watched that teacher talk to us and talk about teaching, and she related most of her stories to ME directly (as in ME, personally, like she would gesture to me and say "Much like Adrienne..."), and I looked around the classroom and I said
Yes.
I hope this works out because I miss the smell of chalkdust.
I miss rubber stamps and ink stained fingers and a voice so hoarse from talking all day.
I miss that moment where that one kid "gets it".
I mean, people, at one point I actually WELLED UP when she was talking about her class. I fucking WELLED UP. I remembered so clearly what she was talking about, because I have been there, I have been in her shoes, in my own fourth grade classroom, with my own crazy classes, and a passion for something other than products of my uterus.
I found myself nodding along with her through most of her speech, growing more enthusiastic about this idea by the minute. Sure, I'd much rather be signing a contract and running my own classroom, but I've got to start somewhere, and hopefully, this is it.
At the end of the meeting, she explained that she had her students each write on a paper bag 5 things that they would like substitute teachers to do that would make learning fun. Each kid came up with their own things, and they were all very different and hilar. And I was the last person to receive a bag. And as I looked down at what my student had written, I BURST out laughing. Because people, if #4 isn't a sign, I freaking don't know what is.
Kids, you don't know what's about to hit you, because I will listen to Kenny Loggins ALL. DAY. LONG.