Someone let the crazies out.
Several odd things happened to me at the gym today.
One of the trainer-guys was basically harrassing me into letting him train me. "You're not taking a class right now....c'mon!....I'll train you for free!" Finally I had to get all bitchy, like "Dude, seriously. I'm good." Then trainer-guy pouted. Yes way. I'm thinking they need to give these guys some other jobs, because clearly they are bored. Cleaning the toilets, perhaps. Just tell them to leave me alone.
So off I went to do my usual workout. I was running along on the treadmill, and this girl literally kept staring at me. At first, you know, I thought I was imagining it, so I tuned her out and forgot about her. But then I got done and was wiping down my machine, and I caught her mid-stare. So I just looked at her. And she just looked me straight in the eyes for what felt like 30 seconds. I refused to look away until she broke. She did not break, nor did she smile or indicate that she knew me. So I was like, "Meh" and off I went to do mat pilates work downstairs.
I was about 10 seconds into my routine when Staring Girl sat down beside me on the mat. However, I had my ipod on and up loud and I was in a zone so I totally ignored her. Then I began to notice that she was copying my routine move for move. Um, yes way. First a guy wants to train me for free, and then a girl wants me to train her for free? What up with that, yo?
In an attempt to turn my attention away from my workout-stalker, I focused my eyes on the dude at the other end of the mat area, and none too soon either. This guy was, how do I say this? Well, he was all but making love to the mat. I'm not even kidding. People do all kinds of weird moves in the mat area, and we all usually totally ignore eachother because they are NORMAL. FITNESS. MOVES. This guy? Nuh-uh, no way. How can I describe this? He was spread-eagled as far apart as a man's legs could possibly spread, with his groin facing the mat, and he was grinding the shit out of things. It was disturbing, to say the least. And I have no idea what he could have possibly been exercising, except maybe his libido.
Dear Gym People,
Stop being psycho.
Love,
Adrienne