what's happening to me?
For the past few weeks i wasn't myelf... I kept on forgetting to turn the lights off, the stove, my cellphone, forgot to pay my bills, even for the train fare blah blah blah. I wasn't doing well physically and emotionally that probably explains being forgetful. I went to see a doctor twice last week because im experiencing headaches, my nose was bleeding, and the worse im losing my hair for no reason at all =(. I hope its just the shampoo but i already changed it for three times and none of them work. Im getting worried but I hope its just because im overfatigue or something. Cancer runs in our family thats 1 thing i have in mind as well but i hope not, i still have more things to do, things to accomplish and people to love and care about... Anyway, its too early to conclude now. Findings will be up in 2 or 3 weeks. Whatever it is, im ready for it.
There's one more. A guy I've been talking to for almost a year now via internet, met him once in my life, I guess I fell in love with him.. I'm getting too emotional about what's happening to me, to my life, my job and as I said I wasn't myself lately. I didn't know waht to think and what to do. There was one night when I was fixing my things, tidying them up and saw some tihngs that reminded me of him and it made me cry for an hour. I dont know... Probably for most it wasnt that big deal to cry over a picture or anything, well that's me. Maybe I cant accept the fact that he doesnt love me that much so I stand up for myself and needed to do something before my heart totally fall on someone that I knew its impossible for him to love me back. I've been brokenhearted, loved someone truly but betrayed you in the end. In his case its different though, he's been honest with his feelings but the thing there is I cant understand why he shows me that he cares but never say them by words. Anyway, So the following day I didnt talk to him. That lasted for a week. And during that week he was looking for me liked he got crazy because I wasnt replying to any of his messages or answering any of his phone calls. He sent me tons of msgs, called me 5-6 times a week (sigh) I f he only knew there wasnt a day that my heart didnt find him... that I cried because I turned down his calls. I cant do it to "forever i dont want to talk to him anymore" cuz i really cant. I talked to him after a week, he was mad of course.He said I made him worried. Yes he was. He said he got drunk more than he got drunk from the past, tried to track down my phone if its still working or not. I sent him empty msgs by phone, logged in several times at yahoo just to give him a sign that im alive. One thing for sure I didnt plan that ahead of time (not talking to him) just sort of came up cuz i was pretty upset that things arent going well in my life. Anyway, we're talking again =)
(what u see ,what u read, please leave it here)
There's one more. A guy I've been talking to for almost a year now via internet, met him once in my life, I guess I fell in love with him.. I'm getting too emotional about what's happening to me, to my life, my job and as I said I wasn't myself lately. I didn't know waht to think and what to do. There was one night when I was fixing my things, tidying them up and saw some tihngs that reminded me of him and it made me cry for an hour. I dont know... Probably for most it wasnt that big deal to cry over a picture or anything, well that's me. Maybe I cant accept the fact that he doesnt love me that much so I stand up for myself and needed to do something before my heart totally fall on someone that I knew its impossible for him to love me back. I've been brokenhearted, loved someone truly but betrayed you in the end. In his case its different though, he's been honest with his feelings but the thing there is I cant understand why he shows me that he cares but never say them by words. Anyway, So the following day I didnt talk to him. That lasted for a week. And during that week he was looking for me liked he got crazy because I wasnt replying to any of his messages or answering any of his phone calls. He sent me tons of msgs, called me 5-6 times a week (sigh) I f he only knew there wasnt a day that my heart didnt find him... that I cried because I turned down his calls. I cant do it to "forever i dont want to talk to him anymore" cuz i really cant. I talked to him after a week, he was mad of course.He said I made him worried. Yes he was. He said he got drunk more than he got drunk from the past, tried to track down my phone if its still working or not. I sent him empty msgs by phone, logged in several times at yahoo just to give him a sign that im alive. One thing for sure I didnt plan that ahead of time (not talking to him) just sort of came up cuz i was pretty upset that things arent going well in my life. Anyway, we're talking again =)
(what u see ,what u read, please leave it here)