Welcome Home Ruben
Talk about reality check.
I'm not sure how to feel about this
A man who is biologically my grandfather is dying
On life support
And I
I don't know how to feel or know if I have a right to feel anything
After all he, like so many other stories, was not around
Caundo digo mi abuelo, When I say my grandfather
That stranger isn't the person I'm referring to
That stranger is not that tall, dark skinned, deep voice, huggable, wise, don't mess with my grandchildren man I have come to know and love and call MY grandfather
Yet my grandma feels the need to tell my mom to care about some man that has been nothing but a name to her
What's a father anyway? Who are you or you or anyone to spit out the definition of a father and expect everyone to abide by it?
Because sometimes blood doesn't mean shit
Let's forget about how this affects my siblings and I
Because he didn't walk out on us
NO, he walked out on children that he helped my grandmother create
He walke dout on a child
A child who grew up knowing that the man she was supposed to call her "Father" was not too far away and didn't give a damn to come see her
A child who by the grace of whatever was later accepted by a person who was everything that stranger wasn't
A child who would later grace that person with the title that stranger did not deserve to ever hear come from her mouth
"Father"
A child who grew up to be my mother and that person she called father
Who as we grew up, became our grandfather
He's all we've ever known
So when I come home
As you, mami, break the news of how some stranger is dying that is biologically my grandfather, biologically your father
And I look at your face trying to read your thoughts
Forgive me, forgive me for trying not to cry
Because I see your struggle and see you trying not to care because this stranger was never there
Forgive me for wanting to go to the hospital to tell him exactly what he missed out on
Your marriage
Your kids
Your accomplishments
Your amazing food
Your smile
Your strength
YOU he missed out on you mami
When all he did was live a few fucking streets down
Forgive me mami for wanting to know why, for wanting to pull over at that yellow house to let him know who he was missing out on
And if he did know, why that wasn't enough to finally bring him around?
He wasn't the person who saved the bird with a broken wing
The person who tells us stories of how he laid down the piping from camarillo all the way to point mugu
He's not, wasn't and now never will be
Talk about reality check
I don't know how to feel ,but sorry
Sorry for the family of some dying stranger who is supposed to be our biological grandfather
And sorry that that's all he'll ever be to you mami, a stranger, a name
I'm not sure how to feel about this
A man who is biologically my grandfather is dying
On life support
And I
I don't know how to feel or know if I have a right to feel anything
After all he, like so many other stories, was not around
Caundo digo mi abuelo, When I say my grandfather
That stranger isn't the person I'm referring to
That stranger is not that tall, dark skinned, deep voice, huggable, wise, don't mess with my grandchildren man I have come to know and love and call MY grandfather
Yet my grandma feels the need to tell my mom to care about some man that has been nothing but a name to her
What's a father anyway? Who are you or you or anyone to spit out the definition of a father and expect everyone to abide by it?
Because sometimes blood doesn't mean shit
Let's forget about how this affects my siblings and I
Because he didn't walk out on us
NO, he walked out on children that he helped my grandmother create
He walke dout on a child
A child who grew up knowing that the man she was supposed to call her "Father" was not too far away and didn't give a damn to come see her
A child who by the grace of whatever was later accepted by a person who was everything that stranger wasn't
A child who would later grace that person with the title that stranger did not deserve to ever hear come from her mouth
"Father"
A child who grew up to be my mother and that person she called father
Who as we grew up, became our grandfather
He's all we've ever known
So when I come home
As you, mami, break the news of how some stranger is dying that is biologically my grandfather, biologically your father
And I look at your face trying to read your thoughts
Forgive me, forgive me for trying not to cry
Because I see your struggle and see you trying not to care because this stranger was never there
Forgive me for wanting to go to the hospital to tell him exactly what he missed out on
Your marriage
Your kids
Your accomplishments
Your amazing food
Your smile
Your strength
YOU he missed out on you mami
When all he did was live a few fucking streets down
Forgive me mami for wanting to know why, for wanting to pull over at that yellow house to let him know who he was missing out on
And if he did know, why that wasn't enough to finally bring him around?
He wasn't the person who saved the bird with a broken wing
The person who tells us stories of how he laid down the piping from camarillo all the way to point mugu
He's not, wasn't and now never will be
Talk about reality check
I don't know how to feel ,but sorry
Sorry for the family of some dying stranger who is supposed to be our biological grandfather
And sorry that that's all he'll ever be to you mami, a stranger, a name