TM 240 - Discuss an individual who has scared you.
There are times when I still dream about the night in the Ministry. It's rubbish really. Voldemort is gone, and Sirius is back. I've been reunited with my godfather for nearly a year now. I'm not certain why I still dream about the ministry though. Why I can see that veil. That trace of a smile on his lips after he stopped laughing and began to fall back.
I can feel Remus's arms wrap around me as he tries to keep me from jumping through the veil after Sirius. I know that he held me back so that he would not jump in as well. There are times when I can still hear myself screaming for Sirius to come back. I can hear myself screaming at Remus that he isn't dead. That he can bring him back.
Then I feel myself running after Bellatrix. Casting that unforgivable because I was so wrecked with grief that I could no longer hold myself back from the darkness that lived inside me. I wanted to make her hurt. Make her bleed. I wished to kill her. I couldn't do it. Even after she took my godfather from me I was unable to kill her.
Then I'm on the ground, squirming around like a snake, as he twists and turns inside me. I hear myself taunting Dumbledore with how he has lost. Daring him to kill me while Voldemort was inside me. Two for one. Everyone believed it was Voldemort who wished for Albus to kill me.
It was me.
I scared myself that night because I wanted to die. I was done. He'd won, and I was ready to give up.
I can feel Remus's arms wrap around me as he tries to keep me from jumping through the veil after Sirius. I know that he held me back so that he would not jump in as well. There are times when I can still hear myself screaming for Sirius to come back. I can hear myself screaming at Remus that he isn't dead. That he can bring him back.
Then I feel myself running after Bellatrix. Casting that unforgivable because I was so wrecked with grief that I could no longer hold myself back from the darkness that lived inside me. I wanted to make her hurt. Make her bleed. I wished to kill her. I couldn't do it. Even after she took my godfather from me I was unable to kill her.
Then I'm on the ground, squirming around like a snake, as he twists and turns inside me. I hear myself taunting Dumbledore with how he has lost. Daring him to kill me while Voldemort was inside me. Two for one. Everyone believed it was Voldemort who wished for Albus to kill me.
It was me.
I scared myself that night because I wanted to die. I was done. He'd won, and I was ready to give up.