Sirius was sleeping. So was Padfoot. The large, black haired dog was curled up on the oversized pillow in the apartment that had been given Sirius Black upon getting the job as professor, the comfortable bed ignored for the warm spot near the hearth and the way he could rest his head against the stones and nap peacefully for as long as he could be allowed.
"Professor Black!! Professor Black!!"
The pounding against the door was enough to startle Padfoot from his sleep and with a stretch, Sirius pulled himself up to standing and then grabbed his wand.
"PROFESSOR BLACK!!"
"Hush or you'll wake the whole bloody castle," he called, making certain he was decent with a swish of the wand before he opened the door.
"Professor Black! Come quickly! Harry, he's...he's...he's..."
That was when his ears picked up the screams. One quick motion and Sirius was past Neville and down the hallway, and headed for the tower. Up the stairs. They were raw, and louder, and when Sirius came upon Seamus and Dean trying to calm Harry, he immediately went to the bed, cast a silencing charm to the room to not wake the entire castle and then knelt in front of his godson, gripping him by the shoulders.
He was having trouble breathing. Harry couldn't remember being this worked up from a nightmare before, but then he'd never dreamed about Voldemort before. He knew that was who it was in his dream.
Just a dream, Harry. Calm down. You're making a scene in front of your mates. You're not a little kid. It was just a dream.
He kept screaming. The images of everyone dead. It was too real. His eyes, they were red, mirror images of the thing behind the cloak. No, he wasn't like him.
Ever wonder why it is you survived that curse? How could any good wizard survive such dark magic? Something isn't right about you. That's why people fear you. They fear you, Harry.
He pushed those thoughts away when he saw his dad trying to get his attention. The screaming stopped, but he was shaking. Pure terror had ripped through him. His eyes had to be normal though. If they were really red Sirius would have freaked out when he looked at him.
"He killed my parents. I saw them die," he choked out, feeling way too exposed with everyone lingering around. "Dad...he was by the stairs and Mum...and then Ce...you, he killed you all."
If Sirius pales at all he doesn't show it outwardly, instead he merely brushes the shaggy hair from the boy's eyes and keeps his other hand on his son's shoulder.
"It was only a dream. A very horrid dream."
He kept his voice calm.
"I am alright." He kept mum on Cedric for the moment. "We are all alright. Alive. Safe. You're safe here, Harry."
Merlin, he hoped he was telling the truth. A glance at the other boys in the room. He had prided himself in not taking too much of a paternal role in his son's life here at Hogwarts but this was too much to ignore. "Listen, Harry. If you'd like to come to my quarters and we'll have some tea, we can talk and perhaps that will help settle your nerves?"
Harry had been quite grateful that Sirius hadn't overdone the parental thing in school. Remus had maintained a balance of Professor and Uncle, but he had years of practice. But Sirius had found a balance quite easily which had pleasantly surprised Harry.
Right now though? To hell with Professor Black. Harry wanted his dad. And he really wanted out of this room with well meaning yet intrusive friends. He nodded his head, standing up on half-shaky knees and moved toward the door without looking at his dorm mates. He'd deal with them later.
He could make the walk to his father's quarters in his sleep. His arms were folded across his chest as he attempted to fight off the chill while making the walk quickly. It wasn't until he reached the room that he collapsed on the couch and held his head in his hands.
"He's coming after me through all of you. He said I'll lose everything." It's just a dream. Why did he believe a dream?
"You can't listen to him, Harry," Sirius reminded him as he went to the cupboard and dug about for things for tea. If there was one thing that Sirius did the semi-old-fashioned way it was his tea, and only minimal wand work included in the process. Once the cups were full and ready he set everthing down on the table near the couch and sat beside his godson.
"Cedric is alright as well, I just didn't wish to say anything in front of your friends," he added. "I know it's not easy but perhaps your dreams are becoming worse since the tournament is approaching? Your nerves getting the worst of you?"
His hands were shaking as he took the cup and sipped it. Tea. It was the cure for everything that chocolate couldn't fix right? Harry was having a hell of a time brushing the dream off. It had felt so bloody real. Too real to be...
"Siri, did my dad fall by the stairs? Was his glasses crooked on his face because of the fall?" He whispered the questions because he knew they would be painful for his godfather to answer. "Did my mum...was she between my crib and the closet? Or was this just a dream? It felt so real. Like I was seeing it happen..." he closed his eyes tight and steadied himself, "like I was seeing it through Voldemort's eyes."
Sirius swallowed a moment of silence between them before he looked down at the table. "Your father was downstairs and he fell standing straight, his glasses never were knocked from his face. Your mum was on the ground beside the crib and you were in the crib, holding on to the bars and crying. The house was nearly destroyed with the curse."
The memories of what that had been like. Finding the bodies there on the stairs and on the floor in the bedroom, fearing for Harry's life...taking the boy and some things and going for their protection.
Harry put down the tea and leaned back on the couch. He wanted to curl up and make all of this go away. It felt so damn real. So terrifying.
"I felt it, the pain of when the curse hit me and the scar formed. I saw him crumbled into whatever he became and watched him slither off. Then I was in a cemetery. He killed Cedric and told me I'd lose everything. I couldn't reach Cedric in time. Then..." he gasped for air for a moment and forced himself to calm down. "Then Remus screamed and I tried to reach him, but it was too late. Then..."
He felt the tears before it really registered he was crying. "You. You wouldn't wake up. I kept begging you not to be dead too, but you were gone and your eyes were open. And he threw me against a wall. He said I'd lose everything starting with myself. Then he showed me my reflection and my eyes were red just like his."
Sirius set his tea down and rubbed a fingertip gently against his temple as he listened to Harry. Remus. Cedric. Himself. New deaths. New fear. New nightmares.
The Dark Lord was rising.
"I'll have to speak to Dumbledore about this," he murmured. "We don't want it turning into a frenzy with the students and I do not want you unprotected."
"I can't run from him. If this wasn't just a dream, Dad, then it means I wouldn't be able to run from him even if I wanted too. What if it wasn't just a dream? What if he was able..."
To reach him in his sleep? That would pretty much guarantee that Harry would never want to sleep again. He looked down at his hands and tried to sort things out in his head.
"I wouldn't run anyway. I'd rather face him when I can protect myself than to worry that he'll sneak up on me." A beat. "Can I stay in here tonight?"
And to be honest, he would rather that Harry be here, tonight, in case he screamed again. In case he had another nightmare. Where he could be there faster, protect him, hold him close.
"I hate him so much, Sirius. He's already taken so much from me. I don't want to lose anyone else."
Harry laid back on the couch and placed his head on his father's lap. It was easier to deal with things if he could tune out the rest of the world. It wasn't that he thought his friends would mock him for the nightmare or the screaming. He just didn't want to put on a show for them.
"I was going to go to the shrieking shack the other day and Cedric freaked out. He thought I was being stupid to risk leaving the grounds, and I thought he was being overprotective and letting fear rule him. I mean, I had a feeling you might be cross with me if I got caught, but my intention wasn't to get caught." He sighed as he looked up at him. "But I understand now that this is serious. He's really going to have a go at me. You raised me not to make it easy for him."
"You...Harry I have never raised you to be the type to walk to the..."
Walk to the slaughter.
"I taught you to defend yourself for when the time was right and I'll admit that often times when I was your age I went looking for trouble but this is different. He is different. He will strike when you least expect it. Constant vigilance..."
"I know. It was stupid and Cedric talked me out of it. But I really thought...I mean it was the shack you know? No one ever went out there."
Harry sighed again as he tried to adjust to the fact that things were going to have to change. His entire time at school he had been free to move about as he wanted. He'd spent the ten years before school moving freely and frequently with Sirius.
"I'm not great with feeling confined. You know that. We've always moved about, doing our own thing. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment to get used to school grounds only and with someone with me at all times." But he'd do it. He got the message loud and clear now.
"I won't do anything you don't want me too, Sirius. You have my word." He sat up slowly and stretched as he reached for the tea. Harry was starting to feel tired now.
Giving his father a sheepish look he asked, "Any chance you could ground me for a few days? I don't want to be in the dorms if this nightmare thing is going to be recurring and I don't know, I feel safer here than there. It feels too open there. It would be easier on my pride if people thought I had to be here than because I wanted to be."
"Professor Black!! Professor Black!!"
The pounding against the door was enough to startle Padfoot from his sleep and with a stretch, Sirius pulled himself up to standing and then grabbed his wand.
"PROFESSOR BLACK!!"
"Hush or you'll wake the whole bloody castle," he called, making certain he was decent with a swish of the wand before he opened the door.
"Professor Black! Come quickly! Harry, he's...he's...he's..."
That was when his ears picked up the screams. One quick motion and Sirius was past Neville and down the hallway, and headed for the tower. Up the stairs. They were raw, and louder, and when Sirius came upon Seamus and Dean trying to calm Harry, he immediately went to the bed, cast a silencing charm to the room to not wake the entire castle and then knelt in front of his godson, gripping him by the shoulders.
"Harry. Harry."
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Just a dream, Harry. Calm down. You're making a scene in front of your mates. You're not a little kid. It was just a dream.
He kept screaming. The images of everyone dead. It was too real. His eyes, they were red, mirror images of the thing behind the cloak. No, he wasn't like him.
Ever wonder why it is you survived that curse? How could any good wizard survive such dark magic? Something isn't right about you. That's why people fear you. They fear you, Harry.
He pushed those thoughts away when he saw his dad trying to get his attention. The screaming stopped, but he was shaking. Pure terror had ripped through him. His eyes had to be normal though. If they were really red Sirius would have freaked out when he looked at him.
"He killed my parents. I saw them die," he choked out, feeling way too exposed with everyone lingering around. "Dad...he was by the stairs and Mum...and then Ce...you, he killed you all."
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"It was only a dream. A very horrid dream."
He kept his voice calm.
"I am alright." He kept mum on Cedric for the moment. "We are all alright. Alive. Safe. You're safe here, Harry."
Merlin, he hoped he was telling the truth. A glance at the other boys in the room. He had prided himself in not taking too much of a paternal role in his son's life here at Hogwarts but this was too much to ignore. "Listen, Harry. If you'd like to come to my quarters and we'll have some tea, we can talk and perhaps that will help settle your nerves?"
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Right now though? To hell with Professor Black. Harry wanted his dad. And he really wanted out of this room with well meaning yet intrusive friends. He nodded his head, standing up on half-shaky knees and moved toward the door without looking at his dorm mates. He'd deal with them later.
He could make the walk to his father's quarters in his sleep. His arms were folded across his chest as he attempted to fight off the chill while making the walk quickly. It wasn't until he reached the room that he collapsed on the couch and held his head in his hands.
"He's coming after me through all of you. He said I'll lose everything." It's just a dream. Why did he believe a dream?
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"Cedric is alright as well, I just didn't wish to say anything in front of your friends," he added. "I know it's not easy but perhaps your dreams are becoming worse since the tournament is approaching? Your nerves getting the worst of you?"
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"Siri, did my dad fall by the stairs? Was his glasses crooked on his face because of the fall?" He whispered the questions because he knew they would be painful for his godfather to answer. "Did my mum...was she between my crib and the closet? Or was this just a dream? It felt so real. Like I was seeing it happen..." he closed his eyes tight and steadied himself, "like I was seeing it through Voldemort's eyes."
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The memories of what that had been like. Finding the bodies there on the stairs and on the floor in the bedroom, fearing for Harry's life...taking the boy and some things and going for their protection.
"What else did you see."
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"I felt it, the pain of when the curse hit me and the scar formed. I saw him crumbled into whatever he became and watched him slither off. Then I was in a cemetery. He killed Cedric and told me I'd lose everything. I couldn't reach Cedric in time. Then..." he gasped for air for a moment and forced himself to calm down. "Then Remus screamed and I tried to reach him, but it was too late. Then..."
He felt the tears before it really registered he was crying. "You. You wouldn't wake up. I kept begging you not to be dead too, but you were gone and your eyes were open. And he threw me against a wall. He said I'd lose everything starting with myself. Then he showed me my reflection and my eyes were red just like his."
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The Dark Lord was rising.
"I'll have to speak to Dumbledore about this," he murmured. "We don't want it turning into a frenzy with the students and I do not want you unprotected."
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To reach him in his sleep? That would pretty much guarantee that Harry would never want to sleep again. He looked down at his hands and tried to sort things out in his head.
"I wouldn't run anyway. I'd rather face him when I can protect myself than to worry that he'll sneak up on me." A beat. "Can I stay in here tonight?"
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And to be honest, he would rather that Harry be here, tonight, in case he screamed again. In case he had another nightmare. Where he could be there faster, protect him, hold him close.
"You're never one to run. I taught you that."
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Harry laid back on the couch and placed his head on his father's lap. It was easier to deal with things if he could tune out the rest of the world. It wasn't that he thought his friends would mock him for the nightmare or the screaming. He just didn't want to put on a show for them.
"I was going to go to the shrieking shack the other day and Cedric freaked out. He thought I was being stupid to risk leaving the grounds, and I thought he was being overprotective and letting fear rule him. I mean, I had a feeling you might be cross with me if I got caught, but my intention wasn't to get caught." He sighed as he looked up at him. "But I understand now that this is serious. He's really going to have a go at me. You raised me not to make it easy for him."
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Walk to the slaughter.
"I taught you to defend yourself for when the time was right and I'll admit that often times when I was your age I went looking for trouble but this is different. He is different. He will strike when you least expect it. Constant vigilance..."
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Harry sighed again as he tried to adjust to the fact that things were going to have to change. His entire time at school he had been free to move about as he wanted. He'd spent the ten years before school moving freely and frequently with Sirius.
"I'm not great with feeling confined. You know that. We've always moved about, doing our own thing. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment to get used to school grounds only and with someone with me at all times." But he'd do it. He got the message loud and clear now.
"I won't do anything you don't want me too, Sirius. You have my word." He sat up slowly and stretched as he reached for the tea. Harry was starting to feel tired now.
Giving his father a sheepish look he asked, "Any chance you could ground me for a few days? I don't want to be in the dorms if this nightmare thing is going to be recurring and I don't know, I feel safer here than there. It feels too open there. It would be easier on my pride if people thought I had to be here than because I wanted to be."
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