Expectations #2
I've been thinking today about something that always haunts me and causes me sadness, resentment and pain...expectations. I realized I wanted to journal about it and then I remembered that this is something I have journaled about before. Something I have even made a serious goal to work on and eliminate from my life. But the truth is, deleting expectations is impossible. We are constantly telling ourselves stories in our own heads. We are constantly visualizing, fantasizing, remembering, creating futures, creating false memories, and so much more. You can't really stop the brain from doing that. And that is sometimes what makes things like drugs and alcohol so appealing. And distractions. Distractions and being busy always work great in order to live in the present.
But anyways...I've had a few downers this week. And lots of my downers have to do with expectations. I need to continue to learn to accept the things I have a hard time accepting. I need to get over shit. It's hard though. After you create things in your head and are then disappointed by them, it's hard to let the disappointment "soberize" you and the expectations decease. It's hard to not play games in your head. You experience the whole "oh man too bad" and your own self haunts you with the "what did i do wrong?" when maybe it has nothing to do with you anyways.
In honor of releasing myself from expectations, I am about to re-read and I will re-post this article which helped me so much last time. http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/29/7-things-you-should-stop-expecting-from-others/
And these are the 2 I need to work on the most right now:
- Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are
- Stop expecting them to know what you're thinking
And I'll end on a quote: "we don't know most people half as well as we believe we do"
___
Afterthought...
In writing and reflecting on this, I just realized it's not necessarily expectations that have been haunting me this week, but resentment. Resentment is another one of those futile feelings that end up doing the most harm just to ourselves. So as I work on ridding myself of the resentment I'm feeling, I'll leave with another quote.
"Grudges and resentments - Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Free yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim, and move forward with or without them."
But anyways...I've had a few downers this week. And lots of my downers have to do with expectations. I need to continue to learn to accept the things I have a hard time accepting. I need to get over shit. It's hard though. After you create things in your head and are then disappointed by them, it's hard to let the disappointment "soberize" you and the expectations decease. It's hard to not play games in your head. You experience the whole "oh man too bad" and your own self haunts you with the "what did i do wrong?" when maybe it has nothing to do with you anyways.
In honor of releasing myself from expectations, I am about to re-read and I will re-post this article which helped me so much last time. http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/29/7-things-you-should-stop-expecting-from-others/
And these are the 2 I need to work on the most right now:
- Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are
- Stop expecting them to know what you're thinking
And I'll end on a quote: "we don't know most people half as well as we believe we do"
___
Afterthought...
In writing and reflecting on this, I just realized it's not necessarily expectations that have been haunting me this week, but resentment. Resentment is another one of those futile feelings that end up doing the most harm just to ourselves. So as I work on ridding myself of the resentment I'm feeling, I'll leave with another quote.
"Grudges and resentments - Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Free yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim, and move forward with or without them."